If you are a dedicated follower of weird news, you're probably well aware that a 60-foot statue of Jesus was recently hit by lightning. The sculpture, better known as the "King of Kings" statue, Touchdown Jesus or Big Butter Jesus, was burned to the ground, sending the Internet into a frenzy of bad jokes about God's parenting skills.

 But this is not just a freak occurrence or the predictable result of building a tall steel structure in a stormy area. There's more than meets the eyes here, folks. This is a long-running grudge between Jesus and Mother Nature, and in what follows we will show you all the ways lightning wants Jesus dead.

Lightning Hates Statues
So, what are the odds of lightning actually striking a statue? Well, it depends a lot on the material involved. The Statue of Liberty, for example, gets hit dozens of times every year. However, she is made out of copper, is a material well-known for attracting the wrath of the elements.

In other words, as long as you don't make your representation of the Messiah out of metal you should, in theory, be fine. Notice how we said "in theory," because when it comes to Jesus statues, lightning is known to strike mercilessly, regardless of material, carefully choosing only the most significant targets.

In 2007, elemental forces claimed the marble Jesus statue that was marking the burial place of the first American saint, Mother Cabrini. This was a statue brought over from Italy and had survived for decades as a pilgrimage site. Bang! Lightning breaks its kneecaps.

One year later, lightning strikes again, this time targeting the largest statue of Jesus in the whole world, a symbol of hope for all of South America, the Christ Redeemer. Considered one of the seven modern world wonders, it is made out of concrete and has lightning rods inside of it. Of course, this didn't stop the dedicated 2008 storm, which burned the statue's fingers and eyebrows, further proving that lightning is a sadistic bastard that likes to torture its victims.

Lightning Hates People, Too
Maybe the skeptics among you aren't yet convinced that storms have an agenda of psychological warfare against Jesus. Maybe you're saying that statues, even those made out of stone, are logical targets for lightning due to their height. To you, dear reader, we present Jim Caviezel, the actor who played Jesus in "The Passion of the Christ."

The odds of a man being hit by lightning are somewhere around 1 in 1.9 million; Mr. Caviezel was hit twice -- as soon as people started calling him Jesus. The only reasonable explanation for the two "accidents," is that lightning heard someone speaking in old Aramaic and decided to kill first and ask questions later.

When it didn't succeed the first time, lightning followed Caviezel around the world, waiting until he was alone with the film's assistant director, working on an abandoned set. What followed is best described by the words of the assistant director: "I glance over and see smoke coming out of Caviezel's ears."

Lightning Hates Everyone Named Jesus
At least Jim Caviezel was dressed in ancient-looking robes and speaking Aramaic; we can understand how lightning confused him for the real deal.

But nature's hatred for the Christian savior runs so deep that no one is safe. God forbid your parents were devout Catholics and named you after Jesus.

Felipe de Jesus Contreras was playing soccer with his friends when lightning attacked them, not once, not twice, but three times. Keeping in mind that the chances of being hit by lightning even once are ridiculous, what are the odds that lightning will hunt you down with bolt after bolt of electric fury? Apparently pretty good, as long as you're named Jesus.

We like to think that Felipe kept dribbling as the storm unleashed behind him, telling people not to worry, that this kind of stuff happened to him all the time. Unfortunately, the story took a grim turn when three of Felipe's friends were hurt and one of them died. Once more we can see proof that lightning operates like the mob, killing your loved ones and cutting off your fingers.

Lightning Even Hates Plaques
You don't even need to be named after the savior. As long as "Jesus" is written somewhere visible, lightning will find a way to strike.

In 1602, a storm struck a lighthouse in Genoa, Italy -- a lighthouse bearing a plaque proclaiming Jesus the king of mankind. The lighthouse was nearly destroyed, but the plaque escaped unscathed.

Unscathed, that is, until the following year, when lightning struck again, this time obliterating the Jesus plaque. Lightning, quite clearly, will not let a job go unfinished.

Not only does this story show the murderous dedication of Mother Nature, but it proves that lightning does strike the same place twice, as long as it can hit something vaguely related to Jesus.