Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert.
Ever since the new Hanes ad featuring Michael Jordan came out, there's been some furor over His Airness's Führer-style upper-lip cabana.
Indeed, the plentifully portly Charles Barkley says Jordan's mouth drape "Is just stupid." But, the opinion of the American Mustache Institute -- really the only one that should matter, as we are the voice of the Mustached American people -- is altogether different.
Certainly, Mr. Jordan's revival of the "toothbrush" mustache -- street name: the "dictator" -- is a controversial move. AMI, however, believes there is no such thing as a "bad" mustache; maybe the time has come for a rebirth. Americans are, after all, a forgiving people, and thus the time has finally come to forgive the toothbrush for the transgressions that one of its one-time bearers committed. We must hang those negative sentiments on the man -- and not the mustache.
Keep reading to see the commercial that paved the way for this showing of Mustached American forgiveness.