There seem to be very few sacred cows in pop culture, if you look at the adult film parody industry. Any sitcom, reality show or fad can become fodder for a porno. The latest example, however, is perhaps testing the taste barriers of even the most hardened (sorry) masturbators: "The Golden Girls: A XXX MILF Fantasy."

On the one hand, "The Golden Girls" we came to know and love (and apparently lust after) were hardly riding out their retirement in a convent. They talked about sex, had sex, loved, lost and lamented the boys that got away in 1952.

On the other hand, there's old ladies having sex.

We talked to NYC comedian and writer Crystal Clements, the woman behind the idea (and script) for the film, to find out what the hell she was thinking.

"When I first started writing these scripts, they asked me to send a list of sitcoms I could parody very easily, and at the very top of it was 'The Golden Girls,'" Clements, who writes under her nom de porn Crystal D. Lite, told Asylum. "When I'm writing a character that's already developed and that I feel I grew up with, it's as if the script writes itself."

Despite Crystal's insistence that the idea could be a hilarious send-up of the lighthearted series about a quartet of lovable geriatrics, her producer immediately called it the "unsexiest idea ever." Luckily, some of his adult-film-producer peers convinced him to bankroll it, and the rest was up to Crystal.

As far as we know, MILF threesomes and kitchen-counter cunnilingus weren't written into the original "Golden Girls" scripts, so how did she keep from soiling the grandmotherly reputations of Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia?

"Crystal ClementsI wanted to make it sexy, not scandalous. I understand that a lot of times when you're dealing with beloved characters, people can get very upset," Clements explains. "These are done with a spirit of fun, moderately tongue-in-cheek, but essentially with respect to the source material."

It's important to note that Crystal isn't directly responsible for anything on screen that happens after the granny pants come off -- only the situations that get us there.

"I think the thing that surprises most people is how undirty the writing for the films really is," says Clements. "It's no different than writing any other "romance" scene, really. The structure of the scene is still the same. It's just that we get to see what happens when the camera would normally turn away and force us to fill in the blanks."

And the only blank we'll fill in is that the movie does not take place "today," so to speak; it's more of a classic TV flashback episode, with the characters fondly and hotly reminiscing about long-lost schlong and Sapphic socials of pre-menopause yesteryear.

Though what we really want to know is, has Betty White been sent her screening copy yet?

"Not yet, but I can't imagine her not getting wind of it." Crystal says. "I think she'll probably get a good giggle out of it. If it could get the Betty White stamp of approval, I'd just expire from happiness."

Speaking of expiring, we have to ask: Will the recent passing of Rue McClanahan boost sales?

"Well, she died just days before the release, so I guess we can't get any before/after statistics," Crystal says. "I just hope she didn't see the trailer and stroke out."