It's a writing award that most authors would want to avoid. However, novelist Molly Ringle found a silver lining in being the 28th annual recipient of the Bulwer-Lytton prize for the worst opening sentence of a novel. "You kind of have to have a certain amount of skill to write a sentence so bad it would win," the Seattle-based Ringle explained. "You have to work at it."
Here is the result of that hard work on her novel "The Ghost Downstairs," and the Bulwer-Lytton winner:
"For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss -- a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil."
According to Ringle, she thought of the rodent metaphor as she nursed her infant son, and was reminded of how a pet guinea pig suckles on its bottle.
Somehow, knowing that context makes her sentence all the more wretched.


























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Comments:
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Thursday 01 July
By Scarlett
I'm no Ernest Hemingway, Stephen King, or even Jackie Collins but
I do know, for the most part, what good and satisfactory writing is, and this, the author must even know, that this really sucks and for some reason it's bad, and it seems it "so bad," almost
"accidentally on purpose." A weird metaphor, I know, but it's the
only way I can really explain it.
Reply
Thursday 01 July
By AJ
Yes the Bulwer-Lytton is a contest to see who can write the most god awful, cheesy, paperback opening sentence. Full of bad imagry, puns, cliches, and grammar. Its been going on for years. Anyone that hates bad structure, spelling and grammar is going to have an anuerism. Don't hate the people who do it on purpose or the editors. Its supposed to be funny.
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Thursday 01 July
By Doralynn Kennedy
Way to go Molly! Now, I'll have to update my book's website to mention that not only are you the author of the terrifically fun Ghost Downstairs, but also the winner of Bulwer-Lytton's worst opening sentence. Jeremy's right. It really is wretched... especially in context. Still proud to be your friend, Doralynn
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Thursday 01 July
By Ann Marlowe
Her winning entry won because it's bad--that's what the Bulwer-Lytton is all about. But your headline writer has no excuse. It's not the "Worst Writer-Award" but the "Worst-Writer Award."
Reply
Thursday 01 July
By Jerry
This may be nit-picking, but what she wrote was a simile, not a metaphor.
Reply
Thursday 01 July
By davem1952
For those of you who really enjoy and appreciate the twisting of English to its most wretched excess, follow the link given for the prize! Many other shining examples from other literary genres, plus runners-up in each category -- and quite a few good laughs to be had. Enjoy!
Reply
Thursday 01 July
By BB
Not an opening sentence,but how's this for a runner up."I had no answer,save that curious impulse I'd followed had seemed to come from that strange inner sanctum where our dearest hopes and darkest fears reside like a quarrelsome couple in a monstrously cramped bed,every movement of the one a discomfort to the other".author Thomas H.Cook The Fate Of Katherine Carr
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Wednesday 26 January
By Walter Melons
I have just been on a vanity publishing site and came across this gem, its not an opening line but it is dire...its either Robert Mitchum, or Captain Mainwaring, or both.
'F*** the Bishop and F*** the Church", I replied calmly, adding to my overall menace. I wanted to impose on this man my disgust.'
Anyone know where you get these menacing overalls?
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