Pamela Meyer, author of "Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception," knows you didn't miss the client meeting because your dog was sick. The Harvard MBA and online social networking CEO developed a system of scientifically based techniques to ferret out the mendacity, subterfuge and tall tales she feels are threatening to consume our nation. "I really believe that there is a deception epidemic going on in our society," Meyer told us.
In the course of researching her book, Meyer found that the average person hears 10 whoppers per day, not to mention the dozens of little, white "other-oriented" lies woven to protect fragile egos. (Don't be fooled, your butt actually looks like Coco on a KFC Double Down binge in those jeans).
To combat this tsunami of fibbing, Meyer turned to both the field of psychology and the well-honed craft of the law-enforcement interrogation. "It's time to take back the truth, and the first thing we can do as individuals is to learn a new skill set," she says.
This includes detecting "micro-expressions" -- those involuntary moments that tip our emotional hand -- along with decoding verbal responses and the Darwinian act of reading body language. According to Meyer, these techniques can boost your B.S. meter by 25 to 30 percent. (Right now, it is hovering around a pathetic 54 percent success rate.)
Considering myself no rube, I decided to take Meyer's techniques into the field to see how well I could spot liars.
The Business Dinner My work dinners are a little bit different from most people's since I'm not pitching anyone my services. Rather, they're hoping to enlist mine. So, right off the bat, they have an incentive to blow smoke up my behind.
At a recent meeting with a brand manager for a global spirits company, I listened to his spiel about his product. I focused on his various tics, like the way he'd play with his watch whenever starting a new thought or pull one side of his mouth back when answering a question.
This made me think of Meyer's chapter on "deceptive faces," and I spent some time considering whether or not I was looking at one. "The first rule in deception detection is to watch the face," she writes in the chapter on micro-expressions and the various ways by which a face lies.
A positive reaction can be belied by a raised eyebrow, a down-turned corner of the mouth or a forced smile, according to Meyer. Remember your reaction to the first batch of your college roommate's home brew -- "No, really ... it's ... delicious ..." -- well, you weren't fooling anybody. I continued to watch for these flashes of honest expression, but the whole time I was doing this I was also drinking cocktails made with very spirit the manager was trying to sell me on.
Conclusion: Friends don't let friends lie-spot drunk.
Running Into an Ex
If there was ever a time to strap on the hip waders, this was it. When people see their ex on the street suddenly everyone is a New York Times bestselling author of fiction.
How's your job? Bought the company. Still in the same place? Well, that and a beach house in Bora Bora. My mom? Couldn't hate you more. So I listened for the clues, the "dodgeball" (Me: "So, are you dating anyone?" Her: "Are you?") and "Bolstering" ("Honestly, I'm too busy to date right now."). The latter is a statement she might drop to convince me that her life was, in fact, infinitely better without me in it.
Meyer has developed an interview technique, known as the BASIC Method, that relies heavily on deciphering the verbal clues present in every lie. BASIC stands for "Baseline Behavior," "Ask Open-ended Questions," "Study the Clusters," "Intuit the Gaps," and "Confirm."
The idea is to first get to know someone's quirks (sometimes a nervous laugh is just that), ask questions that provide more information than "yes" or "no," watch out for red flag "clusters" (like closed eyes, clenched fists or clipped answers), identify gaps in the information you're getting and, finally, go all "CSI" by asking questions that can't be evaded ("Are you happier since we broke up?").
Conclusion: She was being 100 percent truthful when she said she was over me. Ouch.
Watching a World Cup MatchYou know what soccer (sorry, futbol) players like to do more than shield their junk during a free kick? Writhe around in faux pain on the ground after being lightly grazed by another player.
Seriously, do they give out thespian awards at the World Cup? Anyway, I figured the tournament would be the perfect time to root out deceptive body language.
Meyer writes that genuine body language is usually symmetrical, whereas insincere body language is asymmetrical (full shrug, good; half shrug, bad). Look for excessive fidgeting and closed-off gestures, like folded arms or locked ankles, when reading someone's physical reactions. Also, remember that hand gestures don't mean the same thing in every country, something I learned the hard way when traveling through Italy and flashing the "rock on" symbol to signal my approval of the penne alla vodka. (Turns out, I was actually indicating that the chef's wife was cheating on him).
I applied these concepts to the game and studied each knee grab, each facial grimace and every outstretched plea to the ref to determine its authenticity.
Conclusion: Get off the ground and back in the game, Faker von Whines-a-lot.
Michael B. Dougherty is an Asylum contributor who would never lie about lying.
Click here to find out Meyers' 6 ways to tell if your real estate agent is lying. (AOL Housing Watch)


























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Comments:
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Wednesday 21 July
By Bill
This is everything but what God says in the bible....let your yes mean yes and your no mean no....anything else is from the father of lies, Satan. This only shows how many lost souls are really out there in the world. Poor, lost suckers falling for this crap from someone who lies themselves....You people need to wake up and get right with God, repent and turn from your sins. We are all sinners but saved Christians are saved by grace....thats the difference. I'm not judging...God does that.
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Wednesday 21 July
By Michelle
I watch Lie to Me on FOX, I don't need this book. Cal Lightman gives me all the pointers I need :)
Reply
Wednesday 21 July
By pdparker77
I think the person who wrote this is lieing. I can tell in the way it is typed. Now think about that.
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Wednesday 21 July
By daltrey7
If you say you have never lied. You're lieing! Even a fib isn't the truth.
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Wednesday 21 July
By Carl
How 'bout no "Great Depression," & the taypayer interest made when companies repaid balance?
(One of big 3 auto - saved, & taxpayer made $1.3 billion)!
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Wednesday 21 July
By Carl
And now, the rest of you know why Rush Limbaugh is on the radio, not TV !!!
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Wednesday 21 July
By Angiebaby
I do believe body language can give away a person's true response, but I do NOT believe it is infallible. To know whether someone is lying depends on knowing that person's pattern of behavioral responses. And depending on the situation, does it really matter if someone is lying, and do you make trouble where none exists if you convince yourself someone was lying and it makes you less than happy? Like, if you had dinner guests and your food wasn't great, or hell, even good for that matter, your guests are being polite to say it was deelish. Why are you so anal you can't accept what they say at face value instead of convincing yourself that person is a lying, conniving wench who probably lies about everything else, too!!!
As for the business dinner? The guy is sitting there running a mental lie detector test on a salesman and getting soused in the process. Maybe the salesman was nervous. Or better yet, maybe the person being schmoozed should have known his facts about the product, listened and weeded out the impertinent information from the salesman, and stayed sober! Gee. There's a thought!
Run into an ex who talked themselves up to you? Really, now. WOULD you prefer the truth? Oh, Hi, Billy! I'm dating a man who has more hair than you, makes more money than you and he NEVER has trouble getting it up! Pick your battles, folks.
And wow! A man who can tell when an athlete half-a-world away is faking it, but he doesn't know his girlfriend fakes it most of the time? Yeah, right. I'd bet on this guy! Wouldn't you?
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Wednesday 21 July
By Mara
Wow....seems to me that you'd be so busy trying to detect the lies that you'd forget to just enjoy the person and really LISTEN to what their saying. Come on people....let it go.
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Wednesday 21 July
By Mara
"to what they're saying" Sorry!
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Wednesday 21 July
By Dr. H
This article caught my attention, but provided little real information. So, what are the signs..aside from one raised eyebrow or one side of a mouth turned down? And, I have little interest in the reviewer's conversations with his ex-wife, or faked soccer behavior.
Yes, look at the entire picture. And, this does happen to mean something to me, since--as a therapist--I have some knowledge of body language and communication, but the average person would not, so this is, more or less, a useless piece. Tell us what the main characters in "Lie to Me," and "The Mentalist" programs are looking for. These guys (and their younger apprentices) appear deft in this art/science of "lie detection."
In a word, the author introduces an attractive idea, and does not properly develop it. Flash with little substance, like a piece in a tabloid.
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Wednesday 21 July
By Dr. H
I have no idea what this comment about "Big Depression" means.
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Wednesday 21 July
By Dr. H
I enjoyed the comment about Rush Limbaugh being on radio. Yet, a much bigger issue is this. Sometime back in the nineties, there were a couple of stories about how "psychological stress analysis." This method is not infallible, but often produces some reasonably accurate data, when applied to vocal communication. Very quickly, this story died, as someone in government (and industry)apparently realized that the device could be nicely employed during major political speeches, and during late-night commercials to entirely blow apart their games. Popular scams broadcast on the airwaves--a high percentage of them--would be blown right out of the sky. Everything from the speeches of the last three presidents to vacuum sex-pumps and "Beezhid." And, to the great benefit of the American people!!
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Thursday 22 July
By Elmo-chan
So now that you can catch your friends telling little white lies now what?......More than likely most people are they type to sit around looking pathetic cause they just been lied to. You don`t need a book to tell you when someone is lying, most of the time you know, but don`t want to admit it cause they did it to not hurt your feelings. ex.the question "Does this look good on me?" Which response would you give your friend or girlfriend if you know it make them look like a pig stuffed in cotton candy; "It looks ok but,......(here you should suggest something else)" or "Um, no, that actually looks disgusting on you". So before people decide they wanna be human lie ditectors, they need to know if they are strong enough to handle the truth.
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Wednesday 21 July
By squeak squeak
I always know when my husband lies...the tone of his voice is higher. He has no idea of his "tell" and that's why he's now on his way to being my EX-husband.
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Wednesday 21 July
By Nicole
Liars are me pet peeves. I love this article. I would like to know when on the tellie can one be founded a liar. One person told me he had gotten unemployment check & that was over a month ago. He has not gotten the check but filled out his questionar. Honestly I think he is telling me lies. I have trusted him BUT even so much as his very son lies to him Like father like son. What are the signs on the phone when someone is being a phonie. Thank you for this article indeed.
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Thursday 22 July
By fjoe88
When i read that the author considers law enforcement interrogation is a "well-honed craft" then I know this is garbage. The only liars during an iterrogations are law enforcement officers.
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