You spent six months hatching your scheme to have your face smooshed up against the glass during "Good Morning America." So, how is it that one British community worker has managed to be caught on camera in the background of about a gajillion news stories?

Paul Yarrow, a good Samaritan and "Carer of the Year," has been spotted on so many British news shows that it doesn't even make sense. BBC, Channel 4, Al Jazeera -- he's been there, not-so-subtly lurking beyond reporters. How can one man always be in the right place at the right time (in the same oatmeal-colored sweater)?

If he's a man at all, that is. You've probably watched enough of "The X-Files" to come up with one theory on your own: He's one of many identical half-alien/half-human hybrids. This is a strong possibility, although David Duchovny is mysteriously absent from these broadcasts (and it's not 1995).

Keep reading for more captured shots of Mr. Yarrow and a few of our theories behind his ubiquity.

Richard Branson, tired of talking about sending rich people to the moon, has decided to build an army of attention-hungry, unsavory animatronic humanoids capable only of lurking in the background, pretending to talk on cell phones and hauling laundry carts. Why doesn't he spend his money making an army of hot-babe robots? Because he's a crazy billionaire, you fool!

All the news channels in the U.K. are playing a trick on us to demonstrate their "superior," "dry" sense of humor.

This guy really wants to be on "Big Brother." Somehow that has something to do with this.

Perhaps more realistically, he's always on the phone in the background because somebody is telling him where the news is being filmed next. That hypothesis, however, is not nearly as fun to believe as the possibility that he is an alien from another planet with the ability to teleport and is using his Hypnotoad-esque powers to make us all docile in preparation for an invasion.

Observe the amazing vacancy behind his gaze. The end is nigh, and it's coming at the hands of pasty-faced dudes who love beige sweatshirts. Heaven help us.