During our reportage of the Great British Beer Festival, we came across many different characters; but there was one man so superior that we couldn't stop thinking about him.

Who is this grumpy man in a chicken hat? And why is he so unhappy while surrounded by all that beer?

Maybe they ran outta Newcastle? Somebody jacked his nachos? Dissed the hat? We'll never know.

Either way, we decided to make our own attempts to cheer up Grumpy Chicken Hat Man.
The joy and wonder of a child's birthday party didn't do it ...

Double rainbow? No dice.
Woodstock does nothing for Grumpy Chicken Hat Man.

Look, GCHM -- it's puppies!

It's the happiest place on Earth, man! Really?

Not even a slave Leia pillow fight can make him crack a smile.

Whoopi and the gang -- and he's even got his own coffee mug!

Comparing birds with Ernie on "Sesame Street."

Playboy bunnies just depress him.

A giant ice cream sundae might as well be a big bowl of taxes to Grumpy Chicken Hat Man.

OK, this one we just thought looked strangely apropos.