Aug 13th 2010 By Brian Fairbanks
The New Jersey Nets, the Mikhail Prokhorov–owned team that's coming to Brooklyn in a few centuries, are the Nets no longer. At least, that's the plan Prokhorov filed with the NBA
the other day: to change the name from the Nets to something to be announced later.
The Brooklyn Paper
notes that Prokhorov joked previously that he would name the team after his latest girlfriend, then change it every time he roped in a new lass. The Russian businessman and his ilk -- including developer Bruce Ratner and architect Frank Gehry -- have come under fire in the community for their use of eminent domain and getting the area classified as "blighted" in order to carry out their plans.
With that in mind, Asylum decided to come up with some alternate team names for the Brooklyn Nets
when they come to the new Barclays Center in 2012. Feel free to chime in in the comments with your own suggestions.
The Brooklyn Brooklynites:
Jersey, this one goes out to you. You're our halfwit brothers, and just because you moved, it doesn't mean we haven't forgotten you're from Jersey. Seriously, you're going to need to work the word "Brooklyn" into your name as many times as possible to convince us.
The Brooklyn Martys:
Come on, you know that Marty Markowitz
would cream his jeans (and probably put up $2 mil of his own money) to get the team named after his Penguin-looking ass.
The Brooklyn Bulldozers:
This team is so caught up in corporate greed, we wouldn't be surprised if their home-game shirts read "Brooklyn Barclays Target Pier One Saks Häagen Dazses."
The Brooklyn Freddys:
Not "Freddy" as in "Freddy Krueger
," although that would make for some kick-ass logos. Rather, we're talking about Freddy's, named one of the best bars in America, and a victim of the Atlantic Yards eminent domain decision.
The Brooklyn Rats:
We'll tell Bruce it's named after him, but we all know it's really named for Brooklyn's most lovable critter.