Amelia, better known as eBay seller moonstruck9000, has been a Wiccan spellcaster for over 20 years. More recently, as Asylum discovered, she moved her business to the Internet and is now offering booty-enhancement spells.

That's right, folks, if you have a Leo girlfriend, this would make the ideal birthday gift ... for you. Amelia will take your $8.95 and you'll just have to trust that the witch will actually follow through on the deal and cast a spell over the Interwebs.

Moonstruck9000 swears by this practice: "Upon purchase of a spell I will set up an alter [sic] solely for your spell to be cast," she claims on her eBay listing. "Be assured your desired outcome will receive my undivided attention. This will include the use of candles, herbs, oils, gemstones, tools and some other items that may be required to bring results. Your spell will be complete within 24–48 hours of purchase depending on the complexity of your spell."

She says you should "feel positive energy immediately" -- although, of course, she'll also email you a confirmation message to let you know something should be happening in the badunkadunk zone.

Keep reading for some testimonials of her Wiccan wares from her time of butt-swelling over the Internet.

Moonstruck9000 has satisfied ass fans for years, judging by these reports:

"I felt a surge of good energy the night spell was cast A++++."

"A DARK CLOUD HAS BEEN LIFTED!!"

"GOT MY 9TH GRADE GIRLFRIEND BACK 20 YRS LATER."

"SHE IS AMAZING, NOT KIDDING AROUND. I FELT IT WITH IN THE FIRST WEEK!"

Of course, the ultimate review is her own, from the Disclaimers section: "You must be 18 years old to purchase," she writes. "Psychic, paranormal, haunted and/or magical items are for entertainment purposes only. I am not responsible for any paranormal activity you may or may not experience."