Between Tiger Woods and ex–New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, the dysfunctional sexual appetites of men have been getting a lot of media play recently. But whereas the golfer and the governor stepped out on their wives with numerous partners, some sex addicts' predilections involve no other partners. Just ask Cory Schortzman is a self-described recovering "sexual anorexic" who now runs a counseling center in Colorado for sex addictions and who recently shared his experiences on a TLC episode of the series "Strange Sex."
According to SexHelp.com, created by leading sex-addiction expert Dr. Patrick Carnes, sexual anorexia is an obsessive state in which the physical, mental and emotional task of avoiding sex dominates one's life. Whether they eliminate sexuality altogether or develop addictions to pornography or masturbation, sexual anorexics by definition avoid intimacy.
For Schortzman that meant opting to retreat (without the aid of porn) into a masturbatory dream world -- instead of having sex with his wife.
"I hit bottom," says Schortzman. "I was acting out masturbation fantasies ... my addiction was really a secret. I could objectify anything, anyone, [at] anytime."
While he never physically cheated on his wife, Kerry, Schortzman says he denied her both sexually and emotionally.
"Some of my core beliefs were like, women hurt men, women can't be trusted, if she knew me she really wouldn't love me," he says. "Dr. [Douglas] Weiss has a great metaphor for this, called 'Starve the Dog. My wife is the dog, and I'm not going to feed her, I'm not going to love her. She's going to bark or ask or beg for love, and then I'm going to punish her, because she barked or begged for love."
Six years ago, at his low point, Schortzman confronted his wife, who had been left exasperated by his withdrawal. While difficult, he says the experience led him to seek professional treatment and saved his marriage.
Since then Schortzman has become a board-certified counselor, written several books on sex addiction and has appeared with his wife on ABC News. He says between 28 and 30 percent of the general public is afflicted by some kind of sexual addiction, although most of the men he treats refuse to label it as such.
And perhaps partly because sexual anorexia isn't as salacious a topic as sexual compulsiveness, there are no clear statistics on how many of those men and others may be suffering from it. Treatment for both problems is similar, however.
"It's never really about the addiction. The addiction is about unmet needs," explains Schortzman. "It's just your poison you've chose to medicate that wounded-ness [with]."


























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Friday 27 August
By Keith Richard Radford Jr
If you look at the Phych pages online, women write many storys at high level positions of gov. like the kissing story that men need slopy wet, too be able to read what up? My 1st kiss from someone outside family and Gramdma's good by's was at the drive in with a girl from accross the nation. Our one night meeting closeds with this cute 8 year old comming at me with her mouth wide open. Well placemnet of lips was geometricly chalanging effort to say the least. Butt: after all was said and done it held, because after 40 years we met again at the end of her 2nd marrige and have been happly mairred and together for over 15 years. I just love how all these Medical Doctors in the Military/privite world of brain witching bumpkins are so gender based.
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Monday 08 November
By wife
This is my husband to a T...I've been searching the internet after seeing the show on TLC. I thought for years I was nuts and it must be something about me, but I've finally had my fill. We've attending some counseling and things got better than ever before in our marriage, but they are now slipping back into the same paterns again. It makes me both sad and glad to have a name for what we've been going through for the last 19 years.
Wife of a sex anorexic
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Saturday 02 April
By Me2prissy
I am a wife with the husband that I feel fits the diagnosis of Sexually Anorexia. I just watched the TLC show on this and I thank the station for airing this as I now understand that's it's not me. However, I am alone in this because I can not talk to him because he will in turn "act out". Blame me for everything and result in "what I should be used to" another 3 days of not talking.
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Monday 04 April
By nes3n1
I saw this show with my fiancee and we are struggling to find a site where we can download a similar "contract" that was used in this episode. We would greatly appreciate any assisstance in locating a "contract".
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Sunday 10 April
By HoneyB
I watched his episode of strange sex and ironically I have been searching for an answer to some of my problems for months prior to this show airing. I was glad when it aired so that people could see what it is like on the extreme end of sexual addiction. Anyway, I don't hold out much hope for my personal situation as a 'sexual anorexic' sufferer and an 'avoidant personality disorder' sufferer. I have been in therapy but it is not helping me. I am 31 and female and never had sex or been on a date in my life. I don't see how I can get out of this or make it right at this point. So I am trying to just accept being this way. ty.
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