Unless you've recently had a burger from Five Guys, the bathroom can offer those few minutes of tranquility where life's troubles seem to fade for a brief moment and all feels right in the world. This is exactly why Mark Malkoff, a New York–based comedian, writer and filmmaker, began living in his bathroom yesterday.

Malkoff is a self-described Internet junkie who's addicted to HuffPo, Drudge Report, CNN.com, Deadline Hollywood and Twitter. He wants to cleanse himself of his reliance on technology.

Instead of checking these sites on an hourly basis, he'll go primitive in his apartment's bathroom for five days straight. No Internet, TV, iPhone or laptop.

Malkoff is no stranger to ridiculous stunts -- he once attempted to crowd-surf the entire length of Manhattan. He also lived in an Ikea and an AirTran plane, each for 30 days.

We reached Mark through his wife, Christine, who was gracious enough to relay a few messages while she was between pee breaks at Starbucks. Keep reading to hear what he has to say about his new living arrangements.

"My bathroom is smaller than the average U.S. prison cell," says Mark from inside his confined box. "The one thing that's really getting me through this is a list of things that I want to accomplish this week."

Some of the accomplishments Mark is trying to achieve are: learning to play "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" on guitar, write a love poem for his wife, read his friend's screenplay and then figure out the best way to tell his friend the script has no plot.

It is only day two of this ambitious journey, which will be chronicled on My Damn Channel on Sept. 8. Mark may never be the same. But when asked about day one, he excitedly noted, "Today I was able to memorize all the U.S. presidents in order. That was the highlight."

So, when he's suffering from a chronic case of pee-shyness and whispering "the horror" every time he hears a urinal flush, he'll know it was all worth it. Who else could tell you that Rutherford B. Hayes was the 19th president of the United States?