In today's hectic and modern times, Christian scripture seems to be lacking the religious punch it once had during, say, the Middle Ages.

Luckily, Christianity has found a way to guide its errant flock back into God's good graces -- through the power of rap music. Because we all know that fresh beats and street slang are the only things that resonate with today's youth.

However, what seemed like a good idea on the church stationery turns into an unholy mess of forced rhymes and stretched syllables that would make even the most hardened of MCs cry in anguish.

For now, take a seat in the front pew as we present the worst Christian rap videos on God's green Earth.

Having to sit through another insipid and corny parody of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back" is proof that Satan exists.

Apparently, the best place to preach the word of God is in a bad neighborhood at night and out of screaming distance. Check out Jesus getting thrown into a dumpster.

It's like the PokéRap, but without the Pokémon.

Unlike other Christian rappers, Tamara Lowe writes her own lyrics.

After his debut single, he became the VIP at all his church's ice cream socials.

It was only a matter of time before the Westboro Baptist Church got into the rap game.

It's nice to see Nicolas Cage taking time out of his busy schedule to make a quick cameo in this video. What a nice fella!

When they're not plundering, kidnapping wenches and slaughtering the innocent, pirates preach Christian values. Argh.