Some might recall the words of Yogurt the Wise: "Merchandising! Merchandising! Where the real money from the movie is made." After a trip to the selling floor of "Star Wars" Celebration V, we're going to have to agree with this one. Sure, maybe your girlfriend wouldn't appreciate coming home to a strange, mustachioed man, after you purchase the Lando Calrissian Disguise Kit. No matter. Just slip some "Phantom Menace" bubbly into her Vader's Fist O.J. (we find your lack of vitamin C disturbing) and all will be forgiven.
Keep reading for more of the craziest (but very real) "Star Wars" products we snapped at Celebration.
"Star Wars" -- the Breakfast CerealNo self-respecting Jawa would start his day of stalking errant droids without a bowl of Kellogg's C-3PO's.

"Star Wars" -- the Cologne
There's a rumor going around saying that Eau Lando Cologne is nothing more than bottled Ugnaught sweat.
"Star Wars" -- the Bed SheetsWell, at least you have a platoon of Clone Troopers to keep you company during those lonely, single nights.
Lando Calrissian Disguise KitMade of 100 percent faux tauntaun fur.

"Star Wars" -- the Toaster
That's weird. The toaster isn't supposed to do that.
"Star Wars" -- the Zombie Remake PosterNever knew that Han and Leia were into that whole vomit-fetish thing.
"Star Wars" -- the BubblyThis champagne was actually given to fans after viewing "The Phantom Menace" -- so they could get that bad taste out of their mouths.

"Star Wars" -- the His and Hers T-Shirts
These T-shirts are geeky fun, until your relationship grinds to a sudden and inexplicable halt. Then it's just awkward to be seen alone in it.
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Comments:
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Friday 24 September
By Brian
somebody photoshopped the vomit into that "Living Dead Strike Back" cover. its not really on the real one.
Reply
Friday 10 September
By SkyBlue
Isn't Star Wars dead yet?
Reply
Friday 10 September
By julie
NEVER!!!!!
Sunday 12 September
By Mike
Funny, I was thinking the same thing about Elvis a few weeks back.
Sunday 12 September
By J.E.B.
Die it never will. Strong is the Force. Forever will it go on and on. Eternal is the Force.
Master Yoda
Friday 10 September
By Zombie
@Skyblue; you are a retard, star wars is one of the top grossed movies of all time.
Reply
Friday 10 September
By Alex
Always a sign of quality cologne when they sell it by the jug. Jeez, that's a big bottle.
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Friday 10 September
By Jennifer
Where can I get the toaster? Need a grin in the mornings!!!
Reply
Monday 13 September
By Jdynagirl
Bought one of those from the Star Wars store online for my son two Christmases ago. It really does toast the shape of DV, too!
Friday 10 September
By MarinaSkywalker
Awp! Vader is stealing Orenthal James Simpsons thunder!! Its already named OJ! After an equally famous villain!!
Reply
Friday 10 September
By John F.C. Taylor
This the sort of thing that gives science fiction a bad name. If this were Star Trek merchandise, this would definitely deserve to be called the immature trekkie nonsense it is. I actually remember seeing the cereal on store shelves.
Reply
Sunday 12 September
By Stephen
DISOLVE TO:.....Nerd on his knees,hands clasped and praying over Star Wars sheets...
"Oh god....I just know if I had a bottle of "EAU LANDO" , I could make it out of the basement !!!!".
Merely jesting :-p
I LOVE all 6 movies !!
Reply
Sunday 12 September
By Mike
As a wise(cracking) old man one said "nail together 2 things that have never been nailed together before, and some shmuck will buy it."
Reply
Monday 13 September
By Nancy
Hey, they didn't mention my orange, plastic Star Wars tape dispenser.
Reply
Monday 13 September
By amyh
My biggest problem with this article is it's implied that girls/women/females cannot be Star Wars geeks. I have been a SW geek from day one. I would love to have one of each of the items in the article. The only thing I don't want is that Cloown Wars... sorry, Clone Wars crud.
Reply
Monday 13 September
By Emory
I loved the Star Wars merchandise! I especially liked the OJ carton and the Leia and Han t-shirts!
I still have a bunch of Star Wars stuff I bought in the '70's and '80's. It is boxed up and travels with me every time I move!
I have stuffed Ewoks and a different set of pillow cases. I have the original 12 action figures with their weapons and a display stand (figures not in packaging -- I played with those things!) I have trading cards and a signed picture of Darth Vader. I was one of the obsessed ones back in the day!
My favorite parts of the story were the family connections and the romance!
May the Force be with You!
Reply
Tuesday 14 September
By Retroradiolive.com
Matt Busch is a Jedi...
Reply