Not everyone who graduates from law school is cut out for work at a white-shoe corporate firm. That is a good thing, as there are a lot of regular folks out there in dire need of competent legal representation because they have suffered a personal injury, been accused of drunk driving or need to get a divorce and fast.Unfortunately, after watching some lawyers' local television ads, we're afraid those seeking competence might be out of luck. Those seeking inane dialogue, explosions, bad rap songs and animated squirrels, however, will really enjoy what these guys have to offer.
Read on to see our 10 favorite hilariously awful lawyer ad fails.
This ad for DivorceEZ is even blunter than the firm's no-nonsense name:
Wait, this a dramatization? You mean they don't really enter court like that?
Even Michael Bay thinks there are too many explosion in this spot:
We'd only feel comfortable with Jack Bernstein taking our case if we could confirm that he successfully sued the tailor who fitted that shirt:
We're getting a weird Meat Loaf vibe off of this one:
Under no circumstance will Barry R. Glasser, Esq., allow an insurance company to urinate on one of his limbs and then claim the offending wetness is actually part of a local weather system:
We'd have never imagined that a 30 second ad for a divorce lawyer in Seattle would end up making us hate all of humanity -- but it did:
If you happen to be an animated squirrel that's suffered a personal injury, the folks at 1-800-Victim2 would like to represent you:
Since being an ambulance chaser with slicked-back hair obviously isn't painting an unsympathetic-enough portrait for Jeff Zarzynski's liking, he also wants you to know that he was a heartless bully as a child:
Just because one could write a rap song about a personal injury lawyer doesn't mean one should write a rap song about a personal injury lawyer:


























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Comments:
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Monday 04 October
By Doug
The newer Bernstein and Maryanoff ad airs every ten minutes down here. Now he has hand motions.
Florida is rife with bad lawyer commercials, not to mention the odious 1-800-NEED-HELP ads.
Reply
Tuesday 05 October
By Go, Wolf-Spider!
Watch for his down-turned hand! ^_^
Wolf-Spider
Friday 15 October
By Ripper
What about those annoying 1 800 ASK GARY Ads here in Florida also. I never knew there were so many morons in one state. I dont need some idiot at a referral service to tell me I need a lawyer ffs
Tuesday 05 October
By donna
There's a commercial that ran here in Cleveland for a law firm that stated, "If you or any of your family members have suffered death, etc...". I almost peed myself!
Reply
Friday 08 October
By crazylegs2522
Tim Misny! At least they're not as bad as the Norton Furniture guy
Tuesday 05 October
By conaxsat fta
awesome. . great job. .
Reply
Tuesday 05 October
By Tom Young
As an attorney, I am embarrassed by the lack of professionalism displayed by some firms. It's a race to the bottom. That said, there are many attorneys (probably the silent, non-advertising majority) that abhor such marketing and still generate business the old fashioned way - through reputation and word-of-mouth. I encourage anyone looking to hire an attorney to ignore the big advertisers and simply ask their friends and colleagues for recommendations. It's never been easier to ask for suggestions through Facebook, Twitter, etc.
Tom
Reply
Thursday 14 October
By brenda
I agree. With the current state of lawyer commercials (ambulance chasing, to put it mildly), when I needed an attorney to declare bankruptcy a few years ago. I refused to hire one who advertised, but hired one who didn't and was very happy with the results. I even joked with him, telling who I thought were the worst offenders. He understood. From the looks of his office, he wasn't lacking any clients.
Sunday 10 October
By saratoga
Oh my God, check out Dale Turlock on youtube. Worst lawyer commercials ever.
Reply
Thursday 14 October
By gothceltgirl
I did check out Dale Turlock.They weren't exactly commercials per se, but hilarious yes!!! OMG I can't believe he's giving that kind of ethically ambiguous legal "advice". So crazy!
Tuesday 19 October
By Joe
Uh oh, better call Saul.
Reply
Friday 15 October
By Paula
Fortunately, I haven't seen any ridiculous or crazy ads for attorneys but I have taken offense at some of the the mortgage lenders and finance companies ads. The one I detest the most is where the people in it say "It's my money and I want it now!!" Ick. They are hanging out of windows and yelling big time. Of course it's not their money - it belongs to the financial institution, whatever it calls itself these days. Years ago attorneys thought it unethical to advertise their services. Once the door was opened, though, a lot of them jumped on the band wagon. - Paula
Reply
Thursday 14 October
By George Locke
I'm afraid this sort of commercialism was inevitable once the state bar groups decided back in the '70s that it was ok for lawyers to advertise. What had been a profession, at least on the carefully cultivated surface, rapidly degenerated into a racket once the low-life was given permission to come out of the woodwork and reveal itself for what it was (and, in truth, had always been). Little wonder that lawyers occupy such a low position on the public totem pole of esteem nowadays. (By the way, we're also seeing a lot of ads now by doctors and dentists -- and these results really ARE scary much of the time.)
Reply
Thursday 14 October
By Sheryl
LAWYERS and DRUG COMPANIES with ads on TV are totally not good. They should all be banned. Both are costly. Frivolous suits are awful and expensive and making our world worse. The drug companies don't need to market with ads about different medications. They are both shams!!!
Reply
Thursday 14 October
By George Locke
Agreed. All those drug ads on TV do is make people think they need every medication on the market -- and then their doctors no doubt get pressured big-time to "cough up" (pun intended).
Reply
Thursday 14 October
By Christi
You all need to check out Jim Adler, the Texas Hammer. That guy is equally ridiculous in Spanish and English. (Spanish is a little funnier, though, because his accent is AWFUL! It is the same as his English accent--insane in its own right-but in Spanish!) It is pure Texas crazy. Even my 3 year old, after hearing one of the commercials, asked me: "Mommy, what's wrong with that guy? Is he crazy?" Well, my husband just told me you can find his commercials on YouTube and there are even spoofs of his commercials (according to husband---I haven't seen them.)
Reply
Friday 15 October
By MJ
the ez divorce guy is GREAT i'd use him lol
Reply
Thursday 14 October
By Boston Blackie
Personally I feel that the commercials and print ads on medications, doctors and lawyers should be made illegal.
Too often the drug ads make people decide that they have a
problem that the item in the ad can help but they don't and then
when the dr. refuses to give it they raise holy cow about it. Many times the self diagnosis is dangerous.
Then we have the drs. that claim that they have wonderous cures and treatment of comditions. I feel that is snake oil sales.
As far as the ambulance chasing lawyers...nuff said on that subject. The sad thing about them is that they take a percentage of any award and the poor client gets taken to the cleaners...
Should I go into the male impotence products????????? I think not.
Reply
Thursday 14 October
By Real Lawyer
I am a real lawyer. A trial Lawyer. A good and decent man. The only thing I can do is apologize to you for those ads. And no, I don't advertise.
Reply
Friday 15 October
By Tom
I am in great need of a medical malpractice attorney.
I am located in Calif.
Thank you for any help that you can render.