Not everyone who graduates from law school is cut out for work at a white-shoe corporate firm. That is a good thing, as there are a lot of regular folks out there in dire need of competent legal representation because they have suffered a personal injury, been accused of drunk driving or need to get a divorce and fast.Unfortunately, after watching some lawyers' local television ads, we're afraid those seeking competence might be out of luck. Those seeking inane dialogue, explosions, bad rap songs and animated squirrels, however, will really enjoy what these guys have to offer.
Read on to see our 10 favorite hilariously awful lawyer ad fails.
This ad for DivorceEZ is even blunter than the firm's no-nonsense name:
Wait, this a dramatization? You mean they don't really enter court like that?
Even Michael Bay thinks there are too many explosion in this spot:
We'd only feel comfortable with Jack Bernstein taking our case if we could confirm that he successfully sued the tailor who fitted that shirt:
We're getting a weird Meat Loaf vibe off of this one:
Under no circumstance will Barry R. Glasser, Esq., allow an insurance company to urinate on one of his limbs and then claim the offending wetness is actually part of a local weather system:
We'd have never imagined that a 30 second ad for a divorce lawyer in Seattle would end up making us hate all of humanity -- but it did:
If you happen to be an animated squirrel that's suffered a personal injury, the folks at 1-800-Victim2 would like to represent you:
Since being an ambulance chaser with slicked-back hair obviously isn't painting an unsympathetic-enough portrait for Jeff Zarzynski's liking, he also wants you to know that he was a heartless bully as a child:
Just because one could write a rap song about a personal injury lawyer doesn't mean one should write a rap song about a personal injury lawyer:


























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Comments:
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Friday 15 October
By tarzan322
They should ban all these commercials. All they do is promote frivolous lawsuits while just about all of these guys provide less than sub-par service while charging you a fortune. It's also pretty unethical I think. Lawyers are supposed to be neutral, not out blatantly profiteering off of people.
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Thursday 14 October
By melissa
The best lawyers are the best liars!
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Thursday 14 October
By Steven R. Russell
I guarantee you won't find a single passage of Scripture in the Bible, nor is it the message of the Bible to find a lawyer, and fight, drain your energies, and be consumed fighting over "what's yours".
Does Jesus give us this kind of advice anywhere in Scripture? No.
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Thursday 14 October
By magnusistaken
They should have included Attorney Carl Collins III. He IS good.
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Friday 15 October
By magnusistaken
Ha! Watch the movie Extract with Jason Bateman. The character Joe Adler must be totally based on that guy.
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Friday 15 October
By Joey
Back in the Middle Ages, when I went to law school and was admitted to the bar, lawyer advertising was considered unethical and was an offense that could get a lawyer disbarred. Then there were the First Amendment lawsuits in which a few lawyers who wanted to advertise claimed that their freedom of speech was being abridged. Others warned, "If you do this, we will eventually become the subjects of scorn, hatred and derision. People will not think of us as professionals, but will believe that we are no better than used car salesmen."
The freedom of speech argument won, and darned if the rest of us haven't been tainted by the crap these guys put on TV.
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Friday 15 October
By farfallealfredo
We have a commercial that states "If you or a loved one has died from taking Avandia, call us now"...Um, if I've died from taking a drug how can I call you?
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Sunday 17 October
By Heather
Haha! You should call them and says, "Yes, I've died while taking Avandia and I need your help".
But it IS possible to "die" and become revived by doctors, so that could possibly be what they're meaning? It has to be, it's just too ignorant! lol
Friday 15 October
By Rachael
The divorceEZ add was the subject of a fairly complementary article not that far back on this site. Can't say I understand the change in the attitude towards it.
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Friday 15 October
By BROKEN6STRING
I have to admit they were much more entertaining than the local legal pros slinging their legalese in my local television area!
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Friday 15 October
By Reggie
J. Michael Gallagher is the devil. With a bad haircut. He used to also have terrible animated commercials. Which ALSO had bad haircuts. I GUESS it's good those are gone.
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Friday 15 October
By Max
The lawyers who hawk their services in the media taint the reputation of the entire profession. My late father was an attorney, and he never even ran a newspaper ad. I have had occasion to hire three lawyers for different issues, and they have all been very professional and fair. They do not advertise, either. If a lawyer is a member of his/her state Bar Association, their name will appear in a directory.
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Friday 15 October
By PAMELA S
I believe in aggressive lawyers......Now if some would decide to move to Warren County,Ohio and help deserved claimants, potential plaintiffs, etc.
Exp.....attempting to get representation through four out of five idiots. Told, that if someone slips and falls in Kroger or crappy Walmart, it is the customer's fault. How did these ding a lings ever pass the Ohio bar, much less finish college and law school..... Fortunately if there are three complaints against the inconsistant lawyer wannabe, they are subject to sanctions. I know the plaintiff personally filing their complaint against the stupid morons (calling themselves attorneys) in Warren County, Ohio.
Thank you,
Reply
Friday 15 October
By PAMELA S
I believe in aggressive lawyers......Now if some would decide to move to Warren County,Ohio and help deserved claimants, potential plaintiffs, etc.
Exp.....attempting to get representation through four out of five idiots. Told, that if someone slips and falls in Kroger or crappy Walmart, it is the customer's fault. How did these ding a lings ever pass the Ohio bar, much less finish college and law school..... Fortunately if there are three complaints against the inconsistant lawyer wannabe, they are subject to sanctions. I know the plaintiff personally filing their complaint against the stupid morons (calling themselves attorneys) in Warren County, Ohio.
Thank you,
Reply
Friday 15 October
By Paula
There's three disbarred attorneys here in my city who kept out millions of dollars from a settlement that was given to people who used a product that had harmed them. The oldest lawyer had been advertising for a number of years that he could get you money if you've been in an accident, etc. The other two had been practicing about 15 years each. When they were found out about their keeping millions more than their "share" the older lawyer got out of paying anything back - or jail time - with the argument that he was too drunk to know what he was doing when the money came along. What a joke huh? I suppose the other two didn't drink so they went to the pokey for a term. At least the older man was disbarred so he can rest on his money (which he says he doesn't have - ha) without ever having to take a case again. - Paula
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Monday 18 October
By Sliphen Fall
Watching those commercials made my eyes burn , my head aches and I have runny stool .
I wonder if there is a lawyer that will sue those bastards for what they did to me ?
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