Not too long ago, we asked you which video game characters would make the best drinking buddies
. Then we realized there's a much more important question to be debated: What video game character would make the best girlfriend
We've considered our own refined tastes, as well as the obvious favorites, and narrowed the pool to a fanboy-approved list of 11 video game vixens. Which one would you be willing to listen to vent about her work day (keeping in mind that they may kill aliens or engage in illegal back-alley street fights for a living)?
1. Jill Valentine
, "Resident Evil 5"
If you ever lock yourself out of the house or car, Jill's masterful lock-picking skills will come in handy. Her experience surviving undead attacks would prove extremely beneficial if (or when) there's a real zombie apocalypse
. She also loves wearing skin-tight body suits.
She's susceptible to mind control. Loss of skin pigment due to ghastly experiments left her pale, sickly-looking and strong enough to kick your ass for not putting the toilet seat down.
2. Elena Fisher
, "Uncharted 2"
She's extremely loyal -- she'll stand by your side even if you never called her back and started seeing a sexy, Aussie chick instead. She's good with a gun, has a normal career in broadcast journalism and a great sense of humor.
She tends to get snippy if you bring said Aussie chick around. Her journalistic precepts get her into the type of trouble that only small arms fire can resolve. And she's a bit of a goodie-two-shoes.
3. Lara Croft
, "Tomb Raider"
She's super-rich with a sexy British accent, and her athletic prowess has to transfer to the bedroom. In addition, she sports an amazing figure
, encyclopedic knowledge of various extinct cultures and tons of frequent flier points, which means you could jet set with her across the globe.
She has to constantly get mani-pedis to repair damage caused from raiding tombs. You couldn't move in with her because Croft Manor was blown up. Her evil doppelganger
could cause a "Single White Female" situation in the bedroom.
, "Street Fighter"
Chun-Li doesn't need you to fight for her; if anything, she'll fight for you. While her spiked bracelets are kinky, her daddy issues may cause relationship problems -- but are also sort of hot.
She could crush your head accidentally with her thighs. Fighting an electric green manimal and scarred Russian bear wrestler means she's too tired to do anything after work except yap about her crazy job.
5. Samus Aran
She can put her legs behind her head and roll around like a ball. You never have to worry about her crashing your car -- she flies a spaceship.
Family reunions would be awkward since she was raised by a race of technologically advanced space chickens. Freelance bounty hunting in space leaves little time to see her out of her Varia Suit. Thousands of nerds will draw NSFW pictures of her
doing stuff with other women and posing in compromising positions
in her flattering Zero Suit.
Bayonetta won't spend all your money on expensive clothes (her hair covers her entire body) or jewelry (she makes plenty of cash killing evil angels). And she can break-dance without a mat.
She's very forgetful and hangs out with demons and gangsters. A bit of a gun nut, she carries two in her hands and another pair strapped to her boots. This might be a deal-breaker: She listens to a jazzy version of "Fly Me to the Moon
" repeatedly on her iPod.
7. Terra Branford
, "Final Fantasy VI"
Terra is very rebellious; she fought against the corrupt empire that killed her parents and enslaved her. She'd be great to have around if civilization as we know it is ever destroyed by an evil clown with a maniacal laugh
. And due to her love of orphans, there's so no pressure to have kids. She wields Cure magic effortlessly, so no worries if you ever get drunk. She would also play the submissive -- if you own a slave crown
, that is.
She has self-esteem issues stemming from her interspecies heritage: Terra is part-human, part-Esper. When stressed, she transforms into a feral, super-powered, hot pink creature
that flies around. (And you thought PMS was bad.)
Chell won't take no for an answer, especially when it comes from a supercomputer. Adept at using advanced portal technology, she could definitely help you jailbreak your iPhone
and set the DVR for "Mad Men."
Leg enhancements that allow her to survive long drops without injury might spur jealousy -- you'll want a pair, too. Her drab orange jumpsuit will draw disapproving stares when you take her to a fancy restaurant. Foot fetishists may not be able to deal with her swollen, blistered feet.
, "The Legend of Zelda"
If you move in with her, you'd be treated like royalty and be waited on hand and foot. There's never a dull moment when she's around.
She's a bit of a princess and will only wear fancy designer dresses. She takes hours to get ready for a date and is constantly being kidnapped by an evil stalker. She's also a bit of a prude -- you'd be lucky to get a kiss on the cheek for saving her from a dungeon cell and escorting her through a sewer.
10. Alyx Vance
, "Half Life 2"
Vast intellect means she'd be a great teammate if "Trivial Pursuit" were on the agenda at couples' board-game night. Her hacking skills ensure your PC will never be infected by viruses or spyware during intermittent porn hunts. And she can fend for herself during an alien attack, so dealing with your nosy mom would be a cakewalk. Oh yeah, she also has a great sense of humor.
Too clingy, she would follow you everywhere. You'd have to worry about her robot pet dog pissing oil all over the rug. And her tomboyish attitude makes her seem more like one of the guys.
Half-vampire, half-human, all hot -- she's appeared in an issue of Playboy. You won't have to awkwardly meet her overbearing (and evil) father Kagan; she killed him.
When she gets up for a "midnight snack," someone's going to die. She would store excess blood in the refrigerator next to the tomato juice, leading to some not-so-funny mix-ups.
Which video game character would make the best girlfriend?
|Jill Valentine||283 (10.7%)|
|Elena Fisher||519 (19.7%)|
|Lara Croft||472 (17.9%)|
|Samus Aran||129 (4.9%)|
|Terra Branford||120 (4.6%)|
|Alyx Vance||385 (14.6%)|