We all know vegetables are stupid. But, historically, most scientists and professors have disagreed with us.

Not Mark Haub. He's a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University who lost 27 pounds in two months by switching from his diet of whole grains, fruits and vegetables to one of Twinkies and Doritos and other crap packaged in crinkly cellophane wrappers and sold at convenience stores.

He went from being overweight to having a BMI that falls within the healthy range. And all he did was unwrap some kind of snack food every three hours instead of eating big, "healthy" meals.

The plan provided automatic portion control, making it easy for Haub to restrict his calories. Presently Haub won't say whether or not the diet was healthy, only that it worked in terms of weight loss.

His bad cholesterol and triglycerides went down, and his good cholesterol went up. A dietitian from Georgia says there's no way of telling what long-term effects practically eliminating fruits and veggies from a diet might have, but that it could increase the risk of cancer. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzkill.