A word of warning to the ladies and fellas with nice racks: If a woman approaches you in a nightclub, tells you she's a doctor and asks if you'd like a free breast exam, you probably shouldn't take off your top in the bar bathroom and let her give your funbags a rogering.

Not only is it unsanitary, but she's probably not a physician.

Kristina Ross, 37, is neither a real doctor nor a real woman. The male-to-female transgender individual just really loves boobs, so she pulled the ol' "I'm a plastic surgeon, show me your t*ts" ploy at multiple bars and nightclubs in Boise, Idaho.

At least two women were suckered into the con. Ross introduced herself as Dr. Berlyn Aussieahshowna, the most awesome fake name ever, and convinced them with her "vocabulary and apparent medical knowledge," according to the police report.

Then she felt them up, gave them a phone number to a real plastic surgeon and went off into the night, presumably to find more breasts to inappropriately fondle.

The jig was up after the real plastic surgeon whose number she provided started receiving multiple calls from women to confirm appointments with one Berlyn Aussieahshowna.

They alerted police, who later arrested Ross on two felony counts of practicing medicine without a license. If convicted, she could face five years in prison and up to $10,000 for each count of boob-groping. That's one expensive way to get to second base.