We know, we know -- the turducken is sooo 2008. But like most epic meats, the birth of the chicken-within-the-duck-within-the-turkey was just the beginning of more tasty iterations to come.

Today's turduckens have more birds! More bacon! More artery blockage!

So, with Thanksgiving upon us, we present you with five extreme turduckens sure to impress (or terrify) your dinner guests.

Your meal is served, after the jump.


Fowl de Cochon
French-Cajun for "this is how scurvy develops," Fowl de Cochon is a boneless pig crammed with a turducken, cajun sausage and cornbread stuffing. For $250, you can order it online and have it delivered to your home -- or to your kosher friend as a very mean (but delicious!) prank.
12 Birds True Love Roast
Weighing in at 55 pounds with enough fowl to feed 125 people, this 12-bird roast makes a turducken look like an amuse bouche. Heal Farm, its creator, starts with one turkey, which it stuffs with three ducks, two chickens, goose, guinea fowl, quail, pigeon squab, pheasant and a partridge. (There's no pear tree, but it's loaded with plenty of fruit stuffing.) It runs slightly more than $1,000, so you may not be able to pay your mortgage. But, who needs a home when you have a bird big enough to sleep in?
Turbaconduckenriblets
If there's one thing the morbidly obese and pig farmers can agree on, it is that the turducken needs more bacon. Remedying that, enter the Turbaconduckenribets, a bacon-wrapped turkey stuffed with a bacon-wrapped duck stuffed with a bacon-wrapped chicken, stuffed with bacon-wrapped riblets and slow-cooked for seven hours. Expect your tryptophan-induced nap to include bacon-wrapped nightmares.

Deep-Fried Turducken
Is your Thanksgiving dinner typically lacking in heart attacks? Well, an innovative YouTuber has the solution: deep-fried turducken. In this triple-fry process, the man in the video fries each bird before loading it into the next one -- all while taking vodka shots. Can we please be adopted into this family? Please?!

Vegan Turducken
This meal should only be attempted by the extremely brave and/or extremely crunchy. "Tempseifu" is the vegan's answer to turducken, in which a hunk of tofu is filled with seitan -- whatever the hell that is -- which has been stuffed with tempeh. Serve it with a bale of hay and and side of sticks for a complete meal. And don't expect to poop for days.