gluttony pantsHoliday feasts are nigh. With them comes the difficult dilemma every man must face: elastic waistband or drawstring?

Much to the delight of your mom, the days of you looking like a slobby gym rat at the dinner table are over -- thanks to Gluttony Pants, the new britches that let you gorge in comfort and class.

With the spirit of sweatpants and the body of classic trousers, Gluttony Pants are made with soft caramel canvas and feature three buttons (embroidered with "Piglet," "Sow" and "Boar"), which allow for the expansion of the waistband with every slab of ham you pack in.

Don't worry about dribbling gravy -- the pants come equipped with a napkin.

And lest you forget what a disgusting porker you are, graphics on the pants' interior depict the life cycle of a glutton -- from birth to death by heart attack.

Gluttony Pants were designed by Betabrand, with the help of chef Chris Cosentino, and unlike your appetite, quantities are limited. Buy yours now for $100, and you'll be able to fashionably pig out for a lifetime. Or until you have to go up a size.

Keep reading for more pics of the overeating slacks that come with everything but the self-loathing.