Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Holiday Billboard Battle at the world-famous Lincoln Tunnel! In the New Jersey corner, hailing from evolved apes, the welterweight champions of religious jokes ... the Atheists! And in the New York corner, from the Vatican, weighing heavy on guilt ... the Catholics!


Now, let's get ready to rumble!

The American Atheists Organization threw the first jab at Christmas last week when they put up a billboard outside of the Lincoln Tunnel in North Bergen, N.J. The sign (above, left) shows a nativity scene with the headline: "You KNOW it's a Myth. This season, celebrate REASON!" According to their site, the ad is meant to raise awareness of atheism, encourage other non-believers to "come out of the closet," and open a can of whoop-ass on Christianity's winter-solstice takeover.

Catholics, who do not take kindly to people talking smack about their boo, Jesus Christ, threw a papal counterpunch with their own billboard on the opposite end of the tunnel (above, right), which reads "You know it's real. This season, celebrate Jesus." On it, the Virgin Mary happily coos at her immaculately conceived miracle baby.

Catholic League president Bill Donohue says in a press release that their sign is positive and serves the common good: "After Christian motorists have had their sensibilities assaulted as they exit New Jersey, they will experience a sense of joy and satisfaction as they enter New York City."

Oh, snap! Although we'd argue that the "joy and satisfaction" drivers experience after leaving New Jersey is not from the sign but from leaving New Jersey.

Both billboards will be up through Christmas, so commuters can experience the twin spirits of intolerance and zealotry while they're stuck in traffic. Ah, the holidays.