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Eight in 10 married people buy things that they don't tell their spouses about.According to a survey by CESI Debt Solutions, men are slightly more likely than women to engage in this soft deception. However, 43 percent of wives cop to buying clothing or accessories that they don't tell their husbands about, making fashion easily the most common purchase that a spouse of one gender hides from the other.
The purchase guys are most likely to keep from their wives is booze, which 21 percent of husbands have done.
"You're avoiding conflict or criticism from your partner," said psychologist Brad Klontz about this prevalent practice.
Then there are the 4 percent of husbands who neglect to disclose to their wives that they have bought an online dating membership. The motivation there could be a bit deeper than "avoiding conflict or criticism."
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Tuesday 14 December
By tom kelly
Oh, thank you! I thought I was the only one left who enjoyed proper speech patterns and grammar: not to mention simple manners displayed by speech. My mother was a teacher, so believe you me, we spoke correctly, or were corrected instantly! On the phone, I was taught to say "this is he," and "to whom do you wish to speak?" Now, its cause for surprised and delighted remark when the rare person answers "I'm well," when asked, "How are you?" I always want to say, "I know you're good, Darling, but really...how ARE you?"
Thank you for your outrage. I share it!
I am just now reading some of the rude responses to you post, and I'd like to tell them, its not about being a "know-it-all," and certainly not about being crabby. We just love the language, and what it can do when used with skill and panache. This is why we so admire our great writers of both drama and comedy. Think about it!
Its not so much about being right or wrong, but rather about the joy of speaking well, which is very much akin to playing a musical instrument well. Its about COMMUNICATION: connecting with your fellow human beings! What could be better, than to do THAT well?
Wednesday 15 December
By Charley Barcelo
No criticism but often times what appears as spelling errors are merely missplaced key strokes.
Tuesday 14 December
By Brian
In a relationship where there's love, commitment, and honesty, trust isn't an issue. I think what is implied in this article is that something is being hidden. That's a sign of potentially deeper problems. Some ppl shop to cover depression, often over money problems, just exacerbating the problem. Others drink, also for a variety of reasons from money to relationship issues. Communication seems to be the one thing lacking. Too many couples don't talk, don't speak up when things bother them, and little things become relationship breakers.
When my ex bought clothes, I had no problem with it, but when she hid the fact, I looked closer. The things I found, like the online dating, thousands of dollars in purchases, bills not paid, lying about where she was and who she was with, those broke the marriage. To this day, she blames me, while I thought I was working hard to make the paycheck and keep it all together. Maybe communication could have made a difference. Point is, often, hiding purchases can be a sign of deeper problems. Trust, until given a reason not to trust...
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Tuesday 14 December
By john
What do 80% of married couples do? Divorce. Today's joke, tomorrow's reallity.
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Tuesday 14 December
By tron
And the other 2 are husbands who are in denial that their wives do it. It's okay, what wives give us is well worth it.
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Tuesday 14 December
By LST
This too, isn't it bad enough that 99% of women cheat, and they also steal! Hookers are better, pay them once, and they're gone, a wife you have to pay literally every day, mostly for nothing, plus she screws your friends behind your back. Trust no one.
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Tuesday 14 December
By calvin
Boy I missed that one by a mile, 1st.thought was CHEAT 2nd was DIVORCE
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Tuesday 14 December
By Catherine
The only time I hide purchases frome my hubby is before his birthday and winter solstices.
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Tuesday 14 December
By David S.
No wonder half of all marriages end in divorce. If you are deceptive with your spouse about money matters, what else are you deceptive about? There was a program on today on satellite radio that asked if marriage is even relevant anymore. I wonder too.
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Tuesday 14 December
By Katie
It is relevant if you are mature, irrelevant if you are not. If one of your life's goals is to share your life with someone compatible, be in love (real love, not lust), have children, and build a life together then marriage is relevant. If you are all about yourself and selfish, materialistic, all about me me me then marriage will never work. Marriage requires give and take, patience, kindness, respect, fidelity. These are a lot of things current generations lack mainly due to overindulgence by sour grapes parents who managed to screw up everything in their own lives based on greed and unrealistic expectations of people and life in general. The inequity of divorce has also caused it's own problems. We went from men walking away from families and leaving them impoverished and to their own devices to men having everything taken from them and left in the same state. If we are to have a balanced life in America, we must find the middle for all things, marriage and divorce included. Shacking up is the cowards way of saying I want all the benefits but none of the responsibilities. I have been married for 20 years and I would wish my marriage on everybody.
Tuesday 14 December
By Benwa
Just because we got married, doesn't mean that my wife and I had to give up our pre-marriage personalities. She spends money on things that I don't know about and I do the same. Our kids are taken care of, bills are paid, we've got money set aside for our kids' futures (college, etc.). If the purchases don't end up coming back to bite you in the arse, don't worry about it. I also believe that separate vacations are a good thing. I like going to Chicago for baseball games, she doesn't. She likes going to the shore with and without her family, I don't. In my book, everyone needs time apart and also to indulge the personalities that were cultivated long before the "I do."
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Wednesday 15 December
By wondering?
why does everyone want to use the term "partner" everytime they talk of couples. Im not a fag, and i dont have a partner! I have a WIFE. PLEEEEEEEEEASE people, dont let the fag/lesbo faction brainwash you/us anymore. Marrige is between a man and a woman
its people like ellen degenerate that rub our noses in this crap
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Monday 20 December
By Go, Wolf-Spider!
True, but a marriage is a partnership of the husband and wife. Just like in a business, there is give and take to responsibilities in the family and the household. The term is not exclusive to homos, but if my wife (if I were ever married) said, "This is my partner...", I would definitely be a bit miffed, which means a swipe at the back of the head (think NCIS Gibbs).
One question bugs me about your statement, though: What do cigarettes have to do with anything in the article?
Wolf-Spider
Tuesday 14 December
By Tammy
Although every couple is different and handles things differently, this is an issue that for some could and does cause big problems. For my husband and I, we make our limit for spending and not saying anything up to $20.00. It is a small safe amount. Anything over that and we would both be saying "hey whats this about?" Better to be safe then sorry.
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Tuesday 14 December
By Lara
Why would husbands and wives tell each other everything they buy? It doesn't make any sense, and I don't really care what my husband buys, as long as it makes him happy.
If funds are limited and one (or both) of the spouses has a spending problem, then perhaps it would be wise to keep tabs. But otherwise, who cares?
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Tuesday 14 December
By kathy
Why on earth would anyone hide purchases of any kind from either their spouse or anyone for that matter. I cannot comprehend it. If one makes their own money and pay all their bills on time why would they hide purchases. I never had that problem.
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Tuesday 14 December
By Jill
Geegee, you are just mean! Please look at your own work of art before you comment on others' comments. Proper and correct English and grammer does not use can't or didn't. That is slang! I am not sure you know what "appalled" really means as you do not even know what you are talking about in the rest of your paragraph. As for remembering what we were taught 20, 30 and 40 years ago, if we did not use it in 20 years, we obviously do not need it now. Peace and Happy Holidays! Lighten up and have some eggnog.
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Many of the people who make comments can't even use English correctly. As a former teacher, I am appalled at the spelling, verb usage, and slang used here. Didn't you learn anything in school ? It was taught correctly, but many of you didn't bother to listen or remember anything. Pathetic !!
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Tuesday 14 December
By MotorCityMama
Silly me. I thought the article was going to say 80% of married couples cheat on each other.
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Tuesday 14 December
By CLIFF
I HAVE NO USE FOR SPELL CHECKERS.
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Tuesday 14 December
By tom kelly
Wow, Jill! The contractions "can't" and "didn't" are most certainly included as correct grammar. Don't be silly! Then you make an unfounded insult, with "information" about which you are entirely incorrect! Amazing!
Hahahaha....I think GeeGee was talking to YOU! The fact that you consider excellent speech an unecessary thing YOU have declined to use "for 20 years" validates every point made!
Hilarious.
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