Guys may appear shallow as we guzzle beer at a wet T-shirt contest, but the truth is we have depths that ladies cannot comprehend.

Case in point: Men develop relationships with our shoes, jeans, hats, sunglasses and decades-old T-shirts covered in holes and sweat stains.

Women have the ability to wear something for a season and then toss it. Men, though, link clothing with memories. They remind us of good times, like seeing an old friend. Think of it like this, ladies: If your old college roommate started to get raggedy, would you throw her away? Of course not, and we refuse to burn that item you hate for the same reason.

The Flesh-Eating Monkeys were my favorite local ska band in 1998. I went to all their shows and bought one of the few band T-shirts they ever made (pictured above). It is thin, a yellow color that matches nothing and hangs on me like a tent. My girlfriend looks ill every time she sees it, but I've traveled to Europe in it, run 10Ks in it and "skanked" alongside the cutest '90s ska girls in Arizona in it. I'll never get rid of it.

Believing many others have similar stories, we put out a call to our bloggers and friends. The response was overwhelming. Guys couldn't wait to prove their women wrong, believing the Internet could redeem the item she loathes. Below are some of our favorites.

"Starfox 64" Leather Jacket
Proud Owner: Chip Carter
Why It's Awesome: Way back in 1997, Carter won this jacket at video game expo, E3. He had to beat a bunch of other writers and the famous Nintendo designer Shigeru Miyamoto at the then-new game "Starfox 64." Nearly 14 years later, Carter still wears it with pride.
Her Problem With It: His girlfriend thinks he looks cool in a black leather jacket, but thinks the logo looks "undignified."
Why It Stays: If the logo weren't on the breast, how would people know it's a prize for winning "Starfox 64"? She is obviously just jealous of his success.

Mandals
Proud Owner: Ron Babcock
Why They're Awesome: During a trip around the world in 1997, Babcock bought these leather sandals in India because he has a God complex. Not only are they extremely comfortable and "don't make that slapping sound most sandals make against your heel," he literally walked across much of the earth in them.
Her Problem With Them: His girlfriend thinks they're ugly, don't match anything and are falling apart.
Why They Stay: They have outlasted every girl he's dated over the last 11 years, even though they all offered to buy a new pair to replace them.

"Captain" Cap
Proud Owner: Mike Hollingsworth
Why It's Awesome: Hollingsworth calls this his captain cap. We think he may need to revisit photos of naval headwear. Still, it does have a certain look no one can quite place. It's a little bit Civil War era, little bit '60s England and a little bit Skipper on "Gilligan's Island."
Her Problem With It: Upon seeing it, his wife immediately said, "I don't wanna be your 'Little Buddy.'" She continues to give the cap dirty looks.
Why It Stays: It reminds Hollingsworth of one of the funniest comments his wife ever made about an article of clothing.

Original Nike Air Jordans
Proud Owner: Eric Fawcett
Why They're Awesome: Not only is the man who inspired them a legend, but the shoes themselves are a legend. They cost over $100 in the mid-'80s. It took a summer's worth of a minimum wage job or significant amounts of begging your parents to get these babies back in the day.
Her Problem With It: His girlfriend thinks they smell and make him look poor.
Why They Stay: These shoes remind Fawcett of everything awesome he's ever done in sports. They make him feel like Mike (not '80s Michael Jordan, but today's Michael Jordan, which is still pretty great).



Ryan McKee is an Asylum contributor and resident genius.