Last week we wrote about a study that had concluded delaying sex for at least a month
makes a relationship stronger in the long run.
As some of the commenters on this site and our Facebook page emphasized, the study was conducted by researchers from Brigham Young University, the Church of Latter-Day Saints–affiliated college that goes so far as to have an honor code forbidding premarital sex.
Yeah, we also found that a bit suspicious. (And don't think we're just picking on the Mormons; if the folks at Arizona State had come out with a study concluding that drinking until you puke is good for the digestive system, we'd be skeptical of that, too.)
So instead of trusting the folks at BYU, with their presumably scientific methods, we've decided to take a completely non-scientific poll of Asylum readers as to when the best time is to have sex in a relationship.
Of course the correct answer is probably "it depends on the relationship," but that's no fun, so you can only select from specific time frames. Read on for the pros and cons of each period of frustrating abstinence.
When in a relationship should you first have sex?
|First date ||583 (10.6%)|
|Third date||1605 (29.1%)|
|After about a month ||1762 (32.0%)|
|Longer than a month||973 (17.6%)|
|Not until marriage||590 (10.7%)|
: It's 2011 -- not giving in to desire is for suckers
(Obviously) drunken sex with a relative stranger has a spotty history of being of high-quality
Pro: It's pretty much the industry standard
, so there must be something to it.
Following such a convention sets you up for a lifetime of boring, by-the-book sex
That time period allows better assessment of the full range of a woman's emotions. That way you'll have a better idea as to whether a sexual relationship gone bad could possibly lead to some sort of unfortunate rabbit-boiling.
That's beginning to be a lot of time (and expense) spent building up to something that nature created you to do.
Longer Than a Month
One month and beyond is when the BYU study suggests an eventual marriage will start becoming stronger. And if you are able to hold out this long, you probably should be thinking about marriage.
If she hasn't had sex with you into the second month of your relationship, it could be she just doesn't have sex, or is having sex with somebody else.
Wait Until Marriage
You will make happy the God of just about any religion.
If the sex doesn't turn out to be any good, you really are screwed.