Well, that was fast. A few days ago, we showed you a video of Ted Williams (left), the unemployed homeless man with the voice of a Casey Kasem angel. Today he has a new job and a house.
After the video went viral, news of his incredible talent spread, and the Cleveland Cavaliers offered Williams a free house and a full-time voice-over job. In addition to that, he's fielding countless other offers for work.
We're happy for Williams, but what about all the other talented homeless people who are struggling to make ends meet on street corners and subway stations? They need jobs too!
So, in the interest of helping employ those less fortunate, we headhunted the most impressively skilled bums on the Internet. Keep reading to hire one today. Note: They will not work for food.
For Hire: Beatboxer
Adept at making awesome instrumental noises with his mouth and can provide a cheap alternative to hiring a full band. Also available for rap videos and bar mitzvahs.
For Hire: Actor Known as the "Bush Man" at San Fransisco's Fisherman's Wharf, this star-in-the-making has several years of experience playing a realistic bush that scares people. Great casting opportunity for a horror film set in a greenhouse.
For Hire: Drummer
Besides having the percussion chops, this subway musician displays versatility (can play on pots and buckets) and confidence (not afraid to demand money from customers).
For Hire: Pianist
Linda has neither a home nor sheet music, yet every evening at Miami's Dorchester Hotel, she plays the grand piano for tips. French tourists love her, but don't hold that against her.
For Hire: Singer
Danny Smalls (aka Geechee Dan) has been headlining NYC subway stations for years, entertaining commuters and rats with his bluesy songs. Somebody give this man a stage!