ASYLUM - For all mankind

Required listening from the week in music. Downtempo make-out music edition!

Sade returns after an eight-year hiatus with "Soldier of Love." An interesting study would be to draw a direct correlation between the release of Sade albums and the number of births nine months later. Something for the 2010 Census, perhaps?

Also in stores:
-- Everyone from Blur's Damon Albarn to Mazzy Star frontwoman Hope Sandoval turns up on "Heligoland," the first album from Massive Attack since 2002. What is this, "awesome '90s flashback week"?
-- Brooklyn hipsters Yeasayer mix synth pop, Middle Eastern music and other disparate sounds on "Odd Blood." They're like MGMT-meets–A Flock of Seagulls, with a dash of old-school Michael Jackson ... only much better than that concept sounds.
-- Spooky alt-folky Scout Niblett's "The Calcination of Scout Niblett" is for anyone who thinks Cat Power has gone too mainstream.

Former Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda once declared "I bleed Dodger blue and when I die, I'm going to the big Dodger in the sky."

However, it looks like the 82-year old has found someone willing to go to even further extremes to pledge his allegiance to Dodger nation.

Lasorda posted this shocking picture on his surprisingly active Twitter account. The mustachioed man, writes the the elderly ex-manager, is a super-fan who lost his eye and decided to replace it with a fascimile stamped with the logo of his favorite baseball team.

While we applaud the effort, we think he'd look better with a fake Cleveland Browns eyeball.

Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

Beer is rich in a nutrient know to increase bone mineral density.

Barley and hops, ingredients in most beers, contain dietary silicon, which helps to strengthen bones. However, it has long been unclear if enough of the beneficial nutrient survives the brewing process. A new study from the University of California, Davis, concludes that plenty of the nutrient makes it through malting, and that dietary silicon is particularly prevalent in lighter-hued (less cooked) beers.

In fact, beer turns out to be one of the major sources of silicon in the Western diet. This finding has led some scientists to suggest moderate beer consumption could be useful in the fight against osteoporosis.

Does this mean Anheuser-Busch is going to start marketing Bud Light to middle-aged women? Those could be some pretty interesting ads.

PinpointsX is a smartphone app that cures loneliness. The app uses the GPS in your cell phone, plus your membership to its Web site, to find you some hot, local action. (You know, "people who want to have a good time," which is a nice way of saying "people who want to have sex for money.")

It's free to join, but you have to answer lots of very specific questions about your turn-ons. (Honestly, our lives were better before we were forced to admit to ours.) Once you log in you'll see a "Fling Map" with all the fine ladies who might be in the area, along with the hours they're working their particular street corner.

We're hoping the next version of PinpointsX has a map to show the nearest STD clinics.

If you're looking for a special way to exchange wedding vows and don't mind the risk of drowning, then look no further than the Trang Underwater Wedding Ceremony in Thailand.

The 14th annual made-for–Valentine's Day event will take place from Feb. 12–14 off Pak Meng Beach in southern Thailand's Trang district. Locals and tourists participate in the event, which consists of a traditional Thai wedding ceremony and signing of a wedding certificate at depths of about 40 feet underwater.

"One or two couples go under the water at a time," the one English-speaking representative from Trang's Chamber of Commerce tells Asylum. "And each pair will spend about five minutes underwater."

Keep reading for more about this bizarre event.

Last week, we explored the best ways to entice women with your dating profile picture. Today, we invited Lemondrop's Julieanne to join Asylum's token girl for some real talk on taking pictures with dogs and the merits of dating a guy with an ankle bracelet.

This week features a showdown between smart, alluring Amanda and a mechanical cheetah that may not be capable of chasing down a gazelle but will definitely freak out your pets. Which sexy beast is for you: the college student with a geek streak (she knows Batman could beat Superman), or the meticulously crafted Steampunk Cheetah?


Amanda
Pro: You would finally get the chance to visit Iowa.
Con: You would have to visit Iowa.
Pro: She's a gamer, so we know she's into PvP.
Con: Knows all the words to "Cotton-Eye Joe."

Steampunk Cheetah
Pro: Thanks to wheels on its feet, the cheetah can actually be played with ... or used to scare your (house) cat.
Con: It weighs 40 lbs. and could crush a child.
Pro: A work of art, but with steel and electrical conduits instead of paint or marble.
Con: Run the risk of being dubbed "that crazy guy with the metal cat."

Hit the jump for another glimpse at Amanda.

Every man remembers the first time he copped a feel. My first happened in the woods by my house during seventh-grade Christmas break. I felt confident due to the new badass Nirvana T-shirt I wore under my flannel shirt. The breast belonged to Mona, a sultry Mexicana. I thought she looked like a Fly Girl dancer on "In Living Color."

Paler than the rest of her coffee skin, her breasts glowed angelically. They were the size of grapefruits. Sadly, like grapefruits, they were bittersweet. Mona moved away the next week and didn't even say goodbye.

The first day back school, I looked at my friends gathered around our lunch table and blurted out, "Mona and I did it over break."

It's happened to all of us: You meet a girl. She smiles and flirtatiously looks you in the eye. She plays with her hair, touches your arm and drops every single one of the "I'm interested" signals (which you learned from the how-to-understand-women spam emails you've read).

Then, boom, out of nowhere, she mentions her boyfriend. Or, if you were so in the moment and didn't bother to check her hand, she drops a devastating bomb about a fiance or a husband.

So what's your next move? Do you pull back, or do you move forward and pay no heed to this massive red light? Obviously how drunk you are (and how irresistible she is) will come into play. But we want to survey general parameters. Read on for the pros and cons of each level of home-wrecking.

GOOD has a knack for making the informative fun, and its crash course on the funeral industry is no exception. Our favorite fact: In the U.K., you can have your ashes turned into 250 pencils. That, and many more end-of-life facts on "The Business of Death" ...