The 9 Most Unintentionally Terrifying Kids Shows

It takes a special kind of talent to create a solid kid's show. You have to create the sometimes offbeat material that appeals to the innocent, off-kilter mind of a child. But, you also have to make sure you don't cross that fine line into creepy -- traumatizing them for their entire lives. The creators of these shows failed miserably at that last one. Check it out, and next time you happen ...

Read More »

The Joys of Chubby Web-Surfing -- Fattitude Gives Thanks to Internet

The Internet has changed our world and blazed a trail of happiness, psuedo-legal gambling and porn to all corners of the globe. Fat people are especially grateful to the Internet. It has done a lot for the chubby, including fat-frustration forums, recipe sharing ... and did we mention the FREE PORN?! This week, Andy Green offers up a Fattitude that examines just how awesome the Internet has mad...

Read More »

The Best Videos of Boobs Doing Amazing Things

Boobs -- what can we say about them that you don't already know? They're awesome? Obviously. They make people happy? Duh. They can open beer cans, play video games and smash watermelons? About time they did something more interesting than just being generally pleasant to admire. So gather your buddies around and get ready to disrupt the office ... It's amazing things that boobs can do! (No nudi...

Read More »

Halloween Costumes for Fat People -- Fattitude Weighs In

All Hallows' Eve is a night where everyone can feel a like a kid again. You get to dress up AND eat mad amounts of free candy. It truly is the perfect holiday for round folks. And it goes without saying that costumes always look better on fat people. No matter what costume it is -- vampire, cop or fat Frankenstein -- the jiggled-up versions bring the character to the next level. This week, A...

Read More »

Fattitude's Guide to Portly Politicians

Can you smell the groveling and deceit in the air? Election Day is right around the corner, and the occupation of politician is the perfect line of work for a fat person. After all, what other job allows you to accomplish little to nothing while hooking you up with mad vacation time and free meals courtesy of lobbyists? Since your ballot is gonna be chock-full of fatties vying for your vote, As...

Read More »

Fattitude Dishes Up a Guide to Fat Star Wars Characters

If you go to Star Wars conventions, it's immediately apparent that the epic saga has brought vast amounts of happiness to people with vast amounts of girth. Asylum's own Andy Green is one of these fat and happy students of the honorable and neck-less George Lucas. So, this week, Green's Fattitude throws the spotlight on the overweight heroes and villains of the Star Wars universe. The only "for...

Read More »

The Tiniest Rock Stars -- 7 Icons Who Can't Reach the Top Shelf

There are many short celebrities. But rock stars are supposed to be towering, intimidating figures capable of caving in the skulls of anybody who doesn't throw the horns in the air. In real life, however, some of rock's greatest titans need a little help getting the cookie jar down from the top of the cupboard. The rock gods sure do have a sense of humor! We've rounded up some of the littlest f...

Read More »

Fattitude's Guide to Dating

Going "all the way" when it comes to downing food and remaining stationary can often have the high cost of many lonely, sexless nights. But it doesn't have to be that way. Asylum's champion of the rotund, Andy Green, has traveled the dark road through the rejection forest and come out on top ... of an actual woman ... who willingly agreed to be his girlfriend. In the latest episode of Fattitude...

Read More »

'The Button-Down Shirt Bandit' and Other Lame Criminal Nicknames

Society has pushed you too far and you have turned to a life of crime. You want a cool bad-guy name like "Shadow Nightmare" or "The Spine Chipper." The only problem is you don't choose your dastardly moniker ... the media does. And you better hope they aren't having a bad creative day, because they can get downright lazy when naming criminals. Take, for instance, this man, who chose to wear ...

Read More »

Obese People and the Supernatural -- Fattitude Breaks Down the Relationship

The supernatural can pose many problems for the super-nourished. Fat people aren't known for long-distance running abilities or the agility necessary to evade brain-eating zombies. While the unknown does pose many threats to the planet's jiggly ones, fat people do possess certain assets that can very much come in handy when dealing with something not of this Earth. This week Andy Green gives Fa...

Read More »