Jul 1st 2009 By Anthony Layser

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Air Sex Championships Take Dry Humping to the Next Level

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On June 28, the Air Sex World Championship tour wrapped up a 14-city jaunt in Tucson, Ariz. The winner from each city will soon compete for the title in a venue TBD. If you didn't happen to attend one of these events, you may be asking yourself, "What is air sex, and can I get some?" With these questions in mind, we sent a crew to the New York City air sex fest to get some answers.

Click here to enter the world of air sex (i.e. watch our video), after the jump.

Jun 18th 2009 By Anthony Layser

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Raising a Funny Family -- the Carl Reiner Way

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When he's not planning a heist with Danny Ocean, comedian Carl Reiner is still making people laugh. The 87-year-old recently completed the Mark Twain-inspired novella "Just Desserts" -- hitting shelves in September -- and he's been talking to his old pal Mel Brooks about reuniting for an updated version of the 2,000 Year Old Man.

But of all his creations, Reiner is most proud of his three children, Rob, Sylvia Anne, and Lucas (we're guessing "The Jerk" comes in a close fourth). His offspring are all in the entertainment biz, and Carl's late wife Estelle is widely known for spouting off the line "I'll have what she's having" after Meg Ryan's fake orgasm in "When Harry Met Sally."

So with Father's Day coming up, we asked Carl to give us some tips about how dads can go about making sure they preside over a household with a sense of humor. Believe it or not, it doesn't involve slipping them pharmaceuticals.

Click here to check out Carl's advice, from creating a humor-friendly environment to owning your corny dad jokes.

Jun 15th 2009 By Anthony Layser

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Talk the Talk -- Joe Buck's Guide to Speaking Off the Cuff

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As the play-by-play voice for Fox's MLB and NFL broadcasts, Joe Buck is as comfortable as you can be in front of an audience sans script. His new HBO talk show "Joe Buck Live" will have the sportscaster pushing those skills in a new setting, attempting to meld interviews, comedy and, of course, athletics.

"The last thing I want to do is strictly sports," Buck told us. "There's going to be sports, certainly, but at the core it's going to be fun. That's why every episode is going to have a Funny or Die piece and a comedic roundtable."

Whether you call it extemporaneous speech, ad-libbing, speaking off the cuff or improv, we asked Buck to tell us some of the tricks of his trade.

May 1st 2009 By Anthony Layser

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Bad Calls -- the Most Infamous Misstatements Ever Made

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Six years ago today, then-President Bush stepped onto the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln and took the podium beneath a banner declaring "Mission Accomplished" regarding U.S. military operations in Iraq. At the time, what seemed most off about the event was the chief exec's codpiece, but soon the incident itself stirred controversy as the war in Iraq escalated.

While W has been called to task for "Mission Accomplished" many a time, history is chock full of quotes that turned out to be so incredibly wrong, they will never be forgotten. We've collected the best of the best in the gallery below to provide an important reminder that no matter how right you may think you are, there's a chance you will be remembered for being really, really wrong.

Bad Calls -- Historys Infamous Misstatements

    "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended." -- George W. Bush, May 1, 2003

    AP

    "You ain't goin' nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck." -- Jim Denny, Grand Ole Opry manager, firing Elvis Presley in 1954.

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    "640K of memory ought to be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981. Gates has since disavowed the statement.

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    "You'd better learn secretarial skills or else get married." -- A modeling agency's rejection of Marilyn Monroe in 1944.

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    "It will be years -- not in my time -- before a woman will become Prime Minister." -- Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in 1974.

    AP

    "That rainbow song's no good. Take it out." -- From an MGM memo after an early screening of "The Wizard Of Oz."

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    "We don't need you. You haven't got through college yet." -- Hewlett-Packard's rejection of Steve Jobs, co-founder and CEO of Apple Computers.

    AP

    "My good friends, this is the second time in our history that there has come back from Germany to Downing Street peace with honor. I believe it is peace in our time." -- British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain on September 30, 1938, less than a year prior to the start of WWII.

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    "It doesn't matter what he does -- he will never amount to anything." -- Albert Einstein's teacher to his father in 1895.

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    "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president of Digital Equipment Corporation, in 1977.

    AP

Apr 30th 2009 By Anthony Layser

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Turn Your Trip Into a Journey -- the Jim Jarmusch Way

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Filmmaker Jim Jarmusch is a firm believer that it's not necessarily about the destination -- it's about the ride. From his early cult favorites "Stranger Than Paradise" and "Down by Law" to his 2005 Bill Murray road-trip flick "Broken Flowers," the Akron, Ohio, native sees travel as the ultimate way to ignite the imagination. "Every kind of storytelling from Homer and Virgil and Chaucer all the way up to road movies -- it's all about journeys," says Jarmusch. "It's the most obvious metaphor for one's life experience."

Jarmusch's latest movie "The Limits of Control" is yet another travelogue, following a mysterious loner who may be a courier or an assassin as he crisscrosses Spain. With this in mind, Asylum asked the writer-director to explain what sorts of efforts can be made to turn a regular old trip into an inspiring, life-affecting journey.

Jim Jarmusch explains how travel can change your outlook, as long as you're not shot by paramilitaries, after the jump.

Apr 17th 2009 By Anthony Layser

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Asylum Goes to France to Test Cupholders in New VW GTI

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Gearheads are flocking to the 2009 New York Auto Show to see the latest in automotive ingenuity. One of the rides up for perusal is the sixth-generation Volkswagen Golf, also known as the 2010 VW GTI. Asylum got an invite to test drive the GTI a few weeks prior to the show in the South of France and Monaco. Since we know very, very little about cars, the video below is the best review we could muster.

Apr 14th 2009 By Anthony Layser

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Ron Darling Tosses Out Tips on Dealing With Big-Game Pressure

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On baseball's biggest stage in the 1986 World Series, the New York Mets' Ron Darling pitched seven shutout innings in game four. It came at a critical moment and effectively swung the momentum, helping to secure the Mets a victory en route to a championship. Many have argued he was even more valuable to New York than Bill Buckner.

Darling has since retired from the game, but as a baseball analyst for TBS and SNY he still uses some of the lessons he learned on the pitcher's mound, from exuding confidence to focusing on the task at hand. He also recently wrote his first book, "The Complete Game," which examines the mental aspects of throwing a baseball in the majors. We caught up with Darling and asked him to give us some pointers on handling big-time, high-pressure situations.

After the jump, Darling dishes on everything from the importance of confidence to how the hard-partying lifestyle of the 1986 Mets gave that team character.

Apr 7th 2009 By Anthony Layser

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Celebs Who Must Have Mustaches -- Bare Lips Sink Ships

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Musician John Oates of Hall & Oates fame is celebrating his 60th birthday, but unfortunately the true, mustachioed Oates is long dead. In an Entertainment Weekly interview from 2006, Oates even tried to defend his self-defacement by saying this about shaving his legendary lip hair: "It was a psychically freeing moment. I'm sure it didn't mean anything to anyone else, but it was very important to me."

Well, guess what, John? It meant the world to us.

You, like so many other entertainers and sports figures, have gained our esteem and admiration while rocking a serious 'stache. When you blithely bare your lip, you not only lose some major twinkle from your star power, but you also look very unsettling. In the gallery below, we've rounded up celebs who've gone astray (i.e. gone clean shaven). Caution: It's not pretty.

Celebs Who Must Have Mustaches

    Tom Selleck
    "Magnum P.I." minus a mustache equals TV movies and James Caan's sloppy "Las Vegas" seconds.

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    Burt Reynolds
    No mustache was as famous or as important as Burt Reynolds' back in the day. Without it, the eye can't help but be drawn to the toupee.

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    Alex Trebek
    With the 'stache, we believe Trebek actually knows the answers. Alas, a swipe of the blade leaves the Jeopardy host's bathroom sink covered in a scum of tiny hairs, shaving cream, and intellectual authority.

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    Chuck Norris
    Can you imagine "Walker, Texas Ranger" without a 'stache? No, you can't, because it would involve creating a nightmarish alternate dimension no man would even dare imagine.

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    Larry Bird
    Larry Legend is one of the greatest players in NBA history. However, without the 'stache, some have made the observation that he resembles an aging lesbian.

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    Eddie Murphy
    In addition to playing a morbidly obese woman, Murphy also shaved his 'stache to play the title role in "Norbit." This is one of many reasons there will not be a sequel.

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    Lemmy Kilmister
    Motorhead's Lemmy Kilmister is a rock icon befitting of a handlebar. Shaven, he looks like the roadie in "Wayne's World 2."

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    Carl Weathers
    We're pretty sure Rocky could've beaten the crap out of Apollo in that first fight had Apollo fought 'stache-less.

    Getty Images (2)

    Johnny Depp
    We'll take the drunken, eyeliner-wearing, mustachioed pirate over the top hat-wearing pederast-y Johnny Depp any day.

    ZUMA Press (1) / AP (1)

    Don Mattingly
    The Donnie Baseball we choose to remember is the nose-bearded star of the much more palatable '80s Yankees teams that struggled to win, and had a payroll smaller than the GDP of Portugal.

    Getty Images (2)

Mar 30th 2009 By Anthony Layser

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Famous People Who Were Shot ... and Lived!

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Twenty-eight years ago, Ronald Reagan survived an assassination attempt a mere 69 days into his presidency. Within a day of surgery to treat his injuries from the shooting, he signed legislation. It was a sign of grit and toughness that garnered the respect of a nation.

Without a doubt, there's a lot of being in the wrong place at the wrong time involved in getting shot. Another contributing factor may be that you're the type of guy who makes people really, really mad. But regardless of why people get shot, making a full recovery allows most victims to wear the ordeal as a badge of courage.

In the gallery below, we've collected a host of celebrities and historical figures who've taken a bullet and lived. They range from the badass (Teddy Roosevelt) to not so badass (Plaxico Burress).



They Were Shot ... and Lived

    50 Cent
    On May 24, 2000, Fitty, real name Curtis Jackson, was shot nine times. That's right -- nine times. He took bullets in the hand, arm, hip, both legs, chest, and left cheek. The fact that he is not dead leads us to believe he may have been rebuild by doctors Robocop-style.

    Dave Hogan, Getty Images

    Carl Switzer
    Best known as Alfalfa from "Little Rascals," Switzer lived a pretty crazy life. He married a grain elevator heiress, gave hunting tours in Montana, and was shot by an unknown gunman while getting in his car in January 1958. He survived the shooting, but a year later 1959, he was shot and killed during a scuffle over a debt. We're sure Spanky shed a tear at the funeral.

    Hulton Archive/Getty Images

    Bob Marley
    On December 3, 1976, seven gunmen entered the Kingston, Jamaica estate of Bob Marley, the world's best-known reggae performer. Marley and three other people were shot, but miraculously there were no fatalities. Less than a month later, Marley went on stage in front of 85,000 at the Smile Jamaica festival proving himself unfazed by the attack.

    Hulton Archive/Getty Images

    Larry Flynt
    On March 6, 1978, Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and his lawyer were shot outside a Gwinnett County, Georgia courthouse. A white supremacist serial killer confessed to the shootings, saying he was outraged by an interracial photo shoot in Hustler. However, it is rumored that he did enjoy the magazine's monthly Beaver Hunt feature.

    Fredrick Brown, Getty Images

    Vladamir Lenin
    On August 30 1918, the first head of the Soviet state survived an assassination attempt on the way to his car. He was hit twice, once in the arm, and the other between his jaw and neck. Surviving the attack made him an even more popular leader, a move embattled politicians may want to think about emulating.

    Hulton Archive/Getty Images

    Garrett Morris
    In 1994, the "SNL" alum was shot in a robbery attempt. Morris claims his incarcerated fans were "bery, bery" good to him, and beat up his assailant in prison.

    Getty Images

    Andy Warhol
    On June 3, 1968, artist Andy Warhol was shot in his studio by Valerie Solanas, a former associate. Warhol barely survived (legend has it that doctors opened him up and massaged his heart to help it beat again). The incident was later made into a film about Solanas, which was fittingly titled "I Shot Andy Warhol."

    Hulton Archive/Getty Images

    Plaxico Burress
    Not everyone who's been shot and lived gets respect. Last year, wide receiver Plaxico Burress shot himself while partying at a nightclub. His team, the New York Giants, then shot themselves in the foot, losing to the Philadelphia Eagles in the playoffs.

    Getty Images

    Theodore Roosevelt
    While campaigning for president on October 14, 1912, a gunman fired at Theodore Roosevelt from point blank range. En route to a speech, Roosevelt's manuscript containing the address he was to deliver slowed the bullet's entry into his body. Undeterred, he then gave the speech, with his blood staining his vest. Alas, he did not make it to the speech's end before collapsing, and being rushed to the hospital. We're pretty sure this exhibition of badassness must've delivered at least a few thousand votes.

    Hulton Archive/Getty Images

    Grigori Rasputin
    Known as the "Mad Monk," the Russian mystic was thought by many to have too much influence over the Tsaritsa. So on December 16, 1916, conspirators carried out a plot to kill him at a dinner party. First they poisoned him with a huge dose of cyanide. When that didn't work, he was shot four times. No luck. He was then clubbed and tossed in the Moika River, where he drowned. For sheer toughness, we're thinking it's a toss up with Teddy Roosevelt.

    Hulton Archive/Getty Images

Mar 17th 2009 By Anthony Layser

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Don't Dance With Cinderella on Your NCAA Office Pool

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Al DeMarco has been a professional handicapper for 25 years. That means he follows pretty much every single game you can bet on -- even ones a rabid sports fan might skip over. "In the middle of November when UTEP is playing New Mexico State, I'm following the game," says DeMarco.

So we asked the General Manager of Sports Gaming Edge to tell us how he goes about breaking down his own March Madness bracket. Not surprisingly, we found that DeMarco's Mr. Miyagi-esque insights are exactly what all the Daniel-sans out there need to know before submitting office pools for the Big Dance.

Don't Party With Cinderella
DeMarco: "It's been 24 years since they expanded the field to 64 teams. Number 1 versus 16 -- 96-0; 2 versus 15 -- 92-4. Even when you go down another step, 3-seeds are 81-15 against 14-seeds. So there's such a discrepancy at the upper end of the spectrum when you take a look at who actually wins these games. There are too many guys who pick these highly improbable seeds, and that just kills them."

It's All About the Matchup
"You don't have to know whether a guy is averaging 15 points and nine rebounds and whether he can go to his left or right. You just have to know how his team can perform against their opponent. And that's where the misconception is -- people think that to handicap you need to know the personnel and all the numbers like a fantasy freak. The reality is you need to know how all the parts function as a team to see whether or not they can make you money. Matchups truly are it."

DeMarco gives you more money-making advice and explains which dangerous 12-seed has the chance to pull off the upset, after the jump.