Asylum http://www.asylum.com Asylum http://www.asylum.com/media/feedlogo.gif Asylum http://www.asylum.com en-us Copyright 2010 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/Joshua Ferris Expresses His Love for Effed-Up People on 'Drinks With Writers'http://www.asylum.com/2010/02/05/unnamed-author-joshua-ferris-expresses-his-love-for-effed-up-people/http://www.asylum.com/2010/02/05/unnamed-author-joshua-ferris-expresses-his-love-for-effed-up-people/http://www.asylum.com/2010/02/05/unnamed-author-joshua-ferris-expresses-his-love-for-effed-up-people/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Author Joshua Ferris loves a good screwed-up character. His first novel, "Then We Came to the End," chronicles an advertising firm full of strange and dysfunctional employees. Now, he's following up the bestseller and National Book Award finalist with "The Unnamed" -- a tragic tale of a seemingly normal family man whose life is destroyed by his compulsive need to walk.

Asylum also shares a fascination for effed-up people, so we invited Ferris to grab a drink at the Brooklyn Public House in New York. He was kind enough not only to accept but offer up a story about his mother's sage advice regarding profanity in literature. That, and many more tidbits of wholesomeness in our latest "Asylum Drinks With Writers."
Drinks with Writers: Joshua Ferris

 

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]]>beerbrooklyn public houseBrooklynPublicHousedrinks with writersDrinksWithWritersJoshua FerrisJoshuaFerristhe unnamedThen We Came to the EndThenWeCameToTheEndTheUnnamedAnthony Layser2010-02-05T15:30:00+00:00Asylum Goes to Adult Expo to Preview Sex Toys ... of the Future!http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/25/asylum-goes-to-adult-expo-to-preview-sex-toys-of-the-future/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/25/asylum-goes-to-adult-expo-to-preview-sex-toys-of-the-future/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/25/asylum-goes-to-adult-expo-to-preview-sex-toys-of-the-future/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

Advancements in sexual technology move so quickly that it can often be daunting to stay, uh, abreast of the latest developments. But fear not, adventurous masturbators! Asylum recently sent Anthony Layser to the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas to investigate the latest in sex toys ...

Sex Toys ... of the Future!

 

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]]>3D porn3dPornadult entertainmentadult entertainment expoAdultEntertainmentAdultEntertainmentExposex toysSexToysAnthony Layser2010-01-25T15:30:00+00:00The 10 Most Mantastic Moments in Black Historyhttp://www.asylum.com/2010/01/18/the-10-most-mantastic-moments-in-black-history/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/18/the-10-most-mantastic-moments-in-black-history/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/18/the-10-most-mantastic-moments-in-black-history/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Celebrated on the third Monday of January (a time close to King's real birthday on the 15th), MLK day is a great holiday to bum around by the TV, or get hammered with your friends.

But it also celebrates Martin Luther King Jr., a truly mantastic historical figure who promoted nonviolence and acceptance over hatred and prejudice, pushing the civil rights movement into the public consciousness.

In honor of Dr. King, we've collected 10 of the manliest moments in black history, starting with the man himself.

1. Martin Luther King busted, uses time to write "Letter From Birmingham Jail" (April 16, 1963)

As the single-most revered African-American figure, MLK has had almost too many mantastic moments to choose from. One that deserves much respect is the incident in which he was arrested for his part in a nonviolent protest in Birmingham, Ala. Rather than fashion a shiv or barter for cigarettes while in the clink, King wrote an open letter that pretty much summed up his crusade for justice. In it, he stated that "one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws." Standing up to The Man never sounded so good.2. Jack Johnson wins "The Fight of the Century" (July 4, 1910)

After a string of Caucasian fighters were mistakenly deemed the next "Great White Hope" (i.e., white people wanted a white champ), former heavyweight champion James J. Jeffries came out of retirement to fight the reigning heavyweight title holder, Jack Johnson. Johnson, a charismatic and flamboyant black man, was despised by much of the white establishment for not "knowing his place." Jeffries said openly before the matchup, "I am going into his fight for the sole purpose of proving that a white man is better than a Negro." That did not get proved. Johnson knocked down his racist opponent twice before Jeffries' corner threw in the towel in the 15th round.
3. Jesse Owens, non-Aryan, dominates the Nazi Olympics (August 3-9, 1936)

The Third Reich wanted to use the 1936 Berlin Olympics to showcase Nazi Germany and promote their spurious ideologies, including Aryan racial superiority. Track and field phenom Jesse Owens wasn't down with that story line and proceeded to win four gold medals in six days. By the time he left Berlin, Owens' athletic superiority was known the world over, making Hitler look like a chump.
4. Barack Obama's speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention (July 27, 2004)

When our current president stepped to the podium at the DNC in 2004, he was a little-known candidate for U.S. Senate from Illinois. Using the rhetorical magic that propelled his ascent to the White House, Obama ignited the crowd with the inspiring story of his background and his belief in the American Dream. As a counterpoint, the Democrats' nominee that year was John Kerry, a man whose speechmaking had the same effect as a large dose of Benadryl.

5. Captain Charles B. Hall takes out Luftwaffe over Anzio (January 27 and 28, 1944)

The 99th Fighter Squadron (aka The Tuskegee Airmen) have been the subject of numerous books and movies honoring their service. Captain Charles B. Hall was one of the finest pilots of the group, and he became the first black man in American history to shoot down an enemy aircraft. His greatest moment of machismo came in late January 1944, when Luftwaffe bombers raided Anzio, Italy. To protect and support the Allied ground offensive, Hall and company went to work taking out German planes. Hall personally shot down two planes as part of an eight-squadron effort that claimed 32 German aircraft. He remains our favorite son of Brazil, Ind., which is no small achievement, considering the town also produced popcorn mogul Orville Redenbacher.
6. James Brown helps keep the peace in Boston (April 5, 1968)

The day after Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated, numerous U.S. cities were rocked by violent protests and rioting. Yet in Boston, a city not known for racial harmony, there was a relative calm. Many credit the Godfather of Soul, James Brown, for helping to keep this peace. During his rousing concert at the Boston Garden, which aired on the local PBS station, Brown encouraged Bostonians to remember what Dr. King stood for. Meanwhile, he cranked out his patented jams like never before, including "Cold Sweat" and "It's a Man's Man's Man's World." It's was more precisely JB's world that night.
7. Crispus Attucks stands up to British forces, becomes martyr of the American Revolution (March 5, 1770)

Little is known about Crispus Attucks' background, and most of what is known is disputed by historians. What goes undisputed is his participation in the civil unrest that led to the Boston Massacre and his subsequent killing by British troops, making him the most famous martyr of the American Revolution. Paul Revere's renowned carving of Attucks being shot later became an important symbol for abolitionists during the Civil War. As a focal point of inspiration for two of the most important struggles in U.S. history, any historian has got to admit Attucks was in the right place at the right time for a dramatic departure.
8. Wesley Autrey becomes the "Subway Samaritan" (January 2, 2007)

Autrey became a national hero through an extraordinary act of selflessness, bravery and a little bit of crazy. Standing in a Harlem subway station with his two daughters, Autrey noticed a young man convulsing and falling onto the subway tracks. With a train approaching, Autrey sprung into action, leaping down onto the tracks and covering up the man as the breaking train rolled above them, close enough to scuff Autrey's hat. He would later make appearances on TV and at the 2007 State of the Union address, with all who met him expressing awe at his badassery.
9. Miles Davis releases "Kind of Blue" (August 17, 1959)

Jazz is the quintessential American art form, pioneered by names like Armstrong, Ellington, Parker and the man who epitomizes what makes the genre forever cool -- Miles Davis. Many critics point to the 1959 album "Kind of Blue" as the zenith of Davis's coolness and perhaps the height of jazz. "Kind of Blue" is not only the best-selling jazz album of all time, having been certified quadruple platinum last October, but the modal-jazz masterpiece is also widely cited as one of the most influential albums ever made. And, let's not forget, it's an always-reliable soundtrack if you're trying to get your lady in the mood.
10. Otis Boykin invents resistors that enable computers, TV, and pacemakers (June 16, 1959)

Otis Boykin, a genius in the field of electrical mechanics, got his first patent in June 1959 for the wire precision resistor. This allowed the Texas-born inventor to secure research funding to create his own labs as well as secure high-level positions with other firms, which eventually led to 11 more patents before his death in 1982. Among the products we use impacted by Boykin's work include computers, radios, television sets and pacemakers -- all of which were also made more affordable thanks to Boykin's resistors. Considering the importance these advancements have in many men's lives -- especially those who are sports fans with heart trouble -- dudes owe Boykin big time.

Let us know more mantastic moments in black history in the comments.

 

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]]>black historyBlackHistorymantastic moments in black historyMantasticMomentsInBlackHistorymartin luther king jrMartinLutherKingJrmlk dayMlkDayAnthony Layser2010-01-18T12:00:00+00:00'Youth in Revolt''s Michael Cera Endures Moviefone/Asylum Dueling Interviewhttp://www.asylum.com/2010/01/07/youth-in-revolt-star-michael-cera-endures-moviefone-asylum-due/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/07/youth-in-revolt-star-michael-cera-endures-moviefone-asylum-due/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/07/youth-in-revolt-star-michael-cera-endures-moviefone-asylum-due/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Michael Cera often plays an adolescent everyman who finds himself pulled into difficult situations by unscrupulous cohorts. His latest movie, "Youth in Revolt," features him in a similar role to his appearances in "Superbad" and "Year One" -- except the unscrupulous cohort is an imaginary version of himself.

I recently sat down with the actor to discuss this new role and men's lifestyle issues, in general. Unfortunately, Moviefone's Kevin Polowy had to be involved, due to Cera's time constraints.

Please note: Polowy repeatedly tries to undermine me in the following vids. We applaud Cera's professionalism in the face of the assault on Asylum's journalistic integrity ...From the beginning you can tell Polowy has it in for me. I never trusted that guy ...

In Part 2, watch how he kisses up to Michael Cera. This was a sad day for entertainment journalism ...

 

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]]>Anthony LayserAnthonyLayserasylumdueling interviewDuelingInterviewKevin PolowyKevinPolowymichael ceraMichaelCeramoviefoneyouth in revoltYouthInRevoltAnthony Layser2010-01-07T13:00:00+00:00Cheech & Chong Blaze a New Trail With 'Get It Legal' Tourhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/12/09/cheech-chong-blaze-new-trail-with-get-it-legal-tour/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/09/cheech-chong-blaze-new-trail-with-get-it-legal-tour/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/09/cheech-chong-blaze-new-trail-with-get-it-legal-tour/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Cheech and Chong, without a doubt, are the most famous stoners ever to burn one down. How do we know? Well, after 25 years apart, they reunited in 2008 to perform in sold-out, hazy arenas for their "Light Up America" comedy tour.

Now, even as they inch closer to the AARP set, Tommy Chong and Cheech Marin plan to head out in January to bring their "Get It Legal" comedy tour to the ganja-loving masses.

The duo visited "Asylum Lockdown," and told us that once people come to their senses and legalize marijuana, Cheech and Chong will be "as rich as Warren Buffett." All we know is that watching them sing the "Acapulco Gold" jingle definitely makes us want to pass along some green. Spark one and see for yourself ...

http://xml.channel.aol.com/xmlpublisher/fetch.v2.xml?option=expand_relative_urls&dataUrlNodes=uiConfig,feedConfig,localizationConfig,entry&id=795167&pid=795166&uts=1260462088
http://www.aolcdn.com/ke/media_gallery/v1/ke_media_gallery_wrapper.swf

Cheech and Chong - Asylums Cool Uncles

Cheech and Chong on their visit to the Asylum Offices in NYC.

Bonnie Biess, Asylum.com

Cheech and Chong on their visit to the Asylum Offices in NYC.

Bonnie Biess, Asylum.com

Cheech and Chong on their visit to the Asylum Offices in NYC.

Bonnie Biess, Asylum.com

Cheech and Chong on their visit to the Asylum Offices in NYC.

Bonnie Biess, Asylum.com

Cheech and Chong on their visit to the Asylum Offices in NYC.

Bonnie Biess, Asylum.com

Cheech and Chong on their visit to the Asylum Offices in NYC.

Bonnie Biess, Asylum.com

Cheech and Chong on their visit to the Asylum Offices in NYC.

Bonnie Biess, Asylum.com

Cheech and Chong on their visit to the Asylum Offices in NYC.

Bonnie Biess, Asylum.com

What to win tickets to see Cheech & Chong Live? Check out the contest on Going.com.

 

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]]>asylum lockdownAsylumLockdownCheech and ChongCheech MarinCheechAndChongCheechMaringet it legalGetItLegalmarijuanatommy chongTommyChongAnthony Layser2009-12-09T15:30:00+00:00Asylum Editor Discovers He's a Loeser, Searches for German Rootshttp://www.asylum.com/2009/11/25/asylum-editor-discovers-hes-a-loeser-searches-for-german-roots/http://www.asylum.com/2009/11/25/asylum-editor-discovers-hes-a-loeser-searches-for-german-roots/http://www.asylum.com/2009/11/25/asylum-editor-discovers-hes-a-loeser-searches-for-german-roots/#commentsFiled under: ,

Earlier this year, I was asked to go on a press trip to test drive the Volkswagen GTI in the South of France. I was uneasy; I know very little about cars. Unsurprisingly, I set forth and returned with reportage that clearly revealed my ignorance.

So needless to say, I was amazed when VW invited me to Germany for another event in October. But what would be the angle? I couldn't continue to do empty reviews of machines I cannot comprehend.

Then it hit me. I should use the opportunity to seek out my German roots and attempt to locate a kinsperson. After all, the subject -- myself -- is near and dear to my heart. The one unknown: Would this journey of self-indulgence bear fruit?

 

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]]>Berlinfamily treeFamilyTreegenealogygermanyThe Road to LayserTheRoadToLayservolkswagenAnthony Layser2009-11-25T13:00:00+00:00Michael Chabon's 'Manhood' -- Pulitzer Prize Winner Is a Guy Just Like Youhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/10/06/michael-chabon-unleashes-manhood-for-amateurs/http://www.asylum.com/2009/10/06/michael-chabon-unleashes-manhood-for-amateurs/http://www.asylum.com/2009/10/06/michael-chabon-unleashes-manhood-for-amateurs/#commentsFiled under: ,

The lives of celebrated authors are often romanticized. Apparently, the real story is far more relatable -- at least the way Michael Chabon describes it in "Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son," his new collection of autobiographical essays.

The Pulitzer Prize-winning author of "Kavalier & Clay" is raw and candid in his personal reflections on the little struggles most guys face as both dads and dudes. "A lot of the essays here just have to do with problems that are specific to being a parent or just an adult looking back at the changing nature of childhood between then to now," he told Asylum in a recent interview.

But Chabon's also at his analytic and poetic best when waxing on geekier topics from his feelings about the devolution of LEGOs to his attraction to hulking female comic book hero Big Barda.

Needless to say, wordplay devoted to such topics piques Asylum's interest, so we plucked five of Chabon's experiences found in the book and asked him sum up what he learned from living through and writing about each one.

Think of it as a Cliff Notes on manhood from the author himself ...Hot for Comic Book Characters ("A Woman of Valor")
MC: "The thing about Big Barda that so impressed me on a very unconscious level when I was a kid that I only became conscious of later as a grown man was that she really was her own woman. She had her own story of which she was the heroine. She could stand on her own two feet and fight her own battles. She was an utterly dependable ally. She did have moments of letting her guard down and exhibiting moments of tenderness and vulnerability. But what really impressed me was her independence. She didn't need a man, so she was making a deliberate choice when she chose one."

The Circumcision Decision ("The Cut")
MC: "I would only recommend circumcision if you're Jewish or Muslim. I guess there's a public health debate and the CDC is deciding whether or not to recommend it. I guess [health concerns are] why it originally became so widespread in the United States. But other than religious or health reasons, I just don't see a compelling reason to do it.

For Jews, it is an ineradicable and powerful way of saying you are a Jewish man. You're marked. For those living around the time of the Holocaust, it could even be a fatal mark. To continue to do it was almost a defiance. It's kind of like, 'We're going to keep doing it anyway. Screw you.' So it is a really powerful thing. That's ultimately why [my wife and I] chose to do it, I guess. The power was just too strong."

Admitting to the Kids You've Smoked Pot a Million Times ("D.A.R.E")
MC: "In the piece, when my son asked me how many times I did drugs, I said the answer I wanted to avoid was one million. So I told my son, 'A number of times.' That's not a lie, but it doesn't go into excessive detail. I didn't talk about the bongs I made out of big soda bottles and buckets. You don't need to immediately go into telling them about the gravity bong. Basically, if you've smoked a lot of pot, you should cop to it, but I don't think you need to go into detail.

The rule of thumb for me and my wife when our kids ask uncomfortable questions about sex or drugs or hot-button issues is to do our best to tell the truth. You might need to tailor it to be simple, but you don't want to say anything that 10, 15, 20 years later you have to say, 'No, that was a lie.' Be true, be honest. But you don't have to volunteer everything."

The Changing Shape of LEGOs ("To the Legoland Station")
MC: "When I was a kid LEGOs were these abstract formless pieces with a very limited palate and a range of shapes that you tried to make your own creation out of. Regardless of what you made, it always came out looking like LEGOs. Now, it's like a scale-model activity where you try to re-create exact replicas of Star Wars vehicles. That bothered me, but I came to the conclusion that there's something more going on now. My kids have gotten into this mash-up aesthetic now by combining different sets. It would have been impossible for me. The closest I could've come to that is having a G.I. Joe go out with my friend's sister's Barbie doll.



You really do relive your childhood when you have children. You relive it by watching them do the same things you did -- you relive the actual milestones you can remember reaching. And you relive it also in your imagination as you're contrasting things you remember that don't seem to exist anymore or that your children encounter in very different ways."

How to Feel About Having Sex With Your Mom's Friend ("Verging")
MC: "It's difficult for me to get into her mind, and it happened to me. That's because I was a 15-year-old boy myself, and even at this point what appeal I must have had is still lost on me. I'm so much older now than she was then that in retrospect she now seems young herself. But it still seems just as inexplicable and mysterious. I don't have any grudge or ill will, but it's not a super-fond memory. I guess I just wrote about it, because I never had and when I even thought about it, let alone spoke about it, it always made me flinch. It's almost a guarantee that something you write will be worth reading if it makes you uncomfortable."

 

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]]>Anthony Layser2009-10-06T14:00:00+00:00'Bored to Death''s Jonathan Ames Gets Existential, Lets Out Deafening Bellowhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/10/01/bored-to-deaths-jonathan-ames-gets-existential-lets-out-deaf/http://www.asylum.com/2009/10/01/bored-to-deaths-jonathan-ames-gets-existential-lets-out-deaf/http://www.asylum.com/2009/10/01/bored-to-deaths-jonathan-ames-gets-existential-lets-out-deaf/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Jonathan Ames has been an Asylum favorite since we got a hold of his candid collection of essays, "What's Not to Love? The Adventures of a Mildly Perverted Young Writer." Ames's latest comic self-exploration is HBO's new comedy "Bored to Death," which stars Jason Schwartzman as the character Jonathan Ames.

We shared a drink with Ames, and were excited when he agreed to show us how to do a "hairy call." What is a "hairy call," you may ask? Well, you'll need to hear it to believe it.


In the video below, we further investigate the "hairy call" with help from comic and writer John Hodgman ...

 

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]]>anthony layserAnthonyLayserbored to deathBoredToDeathdrinks with writersDrinksWithWritersjohn hodgmanJohnHodgmanjonathan amesJonathanAmesAnthony Layser2009-10-01T13:00:00+00:00Learn Why Chicks Dig Guys With Action Figures on 'The Collector'http://www.asylum.com/2009/08/10/learn-why-chicks-dig-guys-with-action-figures-on-the-collector/http://www.asylum.com/2009/08/10/learn-why-chicks-dig-guys-with-action-figures-on-the-collector/http://www.asylum.com/2009/08/10/learn-why-chicks-dig-guys-with-action-figures-on-the-collector/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

In pop culture, collectors of action figures, comic books and other presumed accoutrement of childhood are portrayed as hapless losers, a la Steve Carell in "The 40-Year-Old Virgin." In reality, there's such a thing as the functional geek. Record producer and rapper Kwamé is one such individual, a serious collector of action figures and sneakers, who's also been able to have a career (other than being a video store clerk), buy a home (not live in his parents' house), and get married (to a real woman).

We recently visited Kwamé to find out how he balances his obsessive collecting with his responsibilities as an artist and husband. Check out the video, after the jump.

 

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]]>action figuresActionFiguresKwamesneakersthe collectorTheCollectorAnthony Layser2009-08-10T13:00:00+00:00Orlebar Brown's $190 Trunks -- Can They Possibly Be Worth It?http://www.asylum.com/2009/07/24/orlebar-browns-190-trunks-can-they-possibly-be-worth-it/http://www.asylum.com/2009/07/24/orlebar-browns-190-trunks-can-they-possibly-be-worth-it/http://www.asylum.com/2009/07/24/orlebar-browns-190-trunks-can-they-possibly-be-worth-it/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Old Navy swim trunks top out at $19.50, and since summer is already in full swing you can score a pair for half that. So why would you pay any more? Well, because Old Navy shorts look like you've given up. The homogenized design and endless inseam does about as much for your mojo on the beach as zinc oxide and man tits.

I know this from personal experience. I've also tried various other board shorts, and felt equally defeated as I do not own a board (the one in the picture is a loaner) or enjoy sporting the oafish offspring of capris and Jams.

So when the British swimwear designer Orlebar Brown sent me a pair of their classic surf shorts, I was interested to see what a tailored trunk was all about. But before trying them on I did the currency exchange and realized these freakin' things clock in at $190. Could they possibly be worth it? More importantly, would they make me look like some dandy Euro clown at the Jersey Shore?

After the jump, I answer these questions and many others about Orlebar Brown's $190 trunks.For Lounging
First off, you should know these shorts are tailored for the svelte. If you've abused your midsection with Belgian brews, meat-lovers pizzas and a general distrust of aerobic exercise, buy a size or two larger than normal. The classic short cut will look classic only if your quivering side flaps don't ooze over the waistband.

I didn't know that. I tried to squeeze into 32s, and created a slight tear near the snap after a few wears. A short weep later, I made the decision to be proactive by committing to an eating disorder. Yes, I was immediately smitten by these trunks and wanted them to like me.

For Swimming
The shorter length provides a free range of motion that unnecessarily long board shorts restrict. At the same time, the inside netting allows sand to pass through, while miraculously also providing the junk support men need when being tossed around by the sea. Alas, at $190, you feel guilty emptying your bladder in the surf.

For Sporting
If you've never played Nerf Vortex, it's basically football played with a small oblong Nerf ball connected to a flagella-like tail. The Orlebar Brown shorts are a little high-end for Vortex games, but my fellow Jersey Shore competitors did not chastise me. That being said, these are probably more appropriate for yachting than tossing around foam with the cast of "Growing Up Gotti."

For Overall-ing
I'm a fan. If you've got the disposable income, these are some top-notch trunks. If you're trying to make ends meet, feed the kids instead. And if you're deep in credit card debt, I'd also say go for it -- you'll probably never actually pay for them anyway.

For more fun with product testing, check out Asylum's superficial review of the 2010 Volkswagen GTI.

All Orlebar Brown photos by Michael Persico.

 

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]]>bathing suitBathingSuitorlebar brownOrlebarBrownproduct reviewProductReviewswimmingtrunksAnthony Layser2009-07-24T15:00:00+00:00Air Sex Championships Take Dry Humping to the Next Levelhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/07/01/air-sex-championships-take-dry-humping-to-the-next-level/http://www.asylum.com/2009/07/01/air-sex-championships-take-dry-humping-to-the-next-level/http://www.asylum.com/2009/07/01/air-sex-championships-take-dry-humping-to-the-next-level/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

On June 28, the Air Sex World Championship tour wrapped up a 14-city jaunt in Tucson, Ariz. The winner from each city will soon compete for the title in a venue TBD. If you didn't happen to attend one of these events, you may be asking yourself, "What is air sex, and can I get some?" With these questions in mind, we sent a crew to the New York City air sex fest to get some answers.



Music by Kevin MacLeod.

 

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]]>air sexair sex championshipAirSexAirSexChampionshipanthony layserAnthonyLayserAnthony Layser2009-07-01T14:30:00+00:00Raising a Funny Family -- the Carl Reiner Wayhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/06/18/raising-a-funny-family-the-carl-reiner-way/http://www.asylum.com/2009/06/18/raising-a-funny-family-the-carl-reiner-way/http://www.asylum.com/2009/06/18/raising-a-funny-family-the-carl-reiner-way/#commentsFiled under: ,

When he's not planning a heist with Danny Ocean, comedian Carl Reiner is still making people laugh. The 87-year-old recently completed the Mark Twain-inspired novella "Just Desserts" -- hitting shelves in September -- and he's been talking to his old pal Mel Brooks about reuniting for an updated version of the 2,000 Year Old Man.

But of all his creations, Reiner is most proud of his three children, Rob, Sylvia Anne, and Lucas (we're guessing "The Jerk" comes in a close fourth). His offspring are all in the entertainment biz, and Carl's late wife Estelle is widely known for spouting off the line "I'll have what she's having" after Meg Ryan's fake orgasm in "When Harry Met Sally."

So with Father's Day coming up, we asked Carl to give us some tips about how dads can go about making sure they preside over a household with a sense of humor. Believe it or not, it doesn't involve slipping them pharmaceuticals.

Click here to check out Carl's advice, from creating a humor-friendly environment to owning your corny dad jokes.Create an Environment for the Funny
Reiner (pictured left, with son, Rob): "People who have no sense of humor cannot make jokes. It just doesn't come to them. So it's partly a natural thing, and partly the environment you grow up in. If you're born into a family that looks at laughter as a positive, important part of life, then it'll help your sense of humor. My parents used to love to take us to comedies and listen to radio shows that had comedians like the Marx Brothers in them, so we gravitated towards them."

Humor Is Timeless
"Governments and mores have changed, but people remain the same. People are still looking for love, looking for acceptance -- yearnings haven't changed. The pace seems faster, but people still laugh at the same stuff ... So will your children."

Your Kids Will Follow Your Lead
"My father was an inventor. He was a very creative guy, and he had a great work ethic. I caught that from him. I never did not work. When I was doing 'The Dick Van Dyke' show, I wrote the first 40 of the 60 shows by myself. Today I see 30 different writers on each show, back then it was me. Luckily, I got some more writers later on, but for a while it was just me, and a lot of how I learned that was by watching my father just sitting and thinking and working."

Using Comedy to Get Along
"I have three kids who have wonderful senses of humor, and my wife had a good sense of humor. Of course, there was a lot of screaming and yelling in our house, but we were always able to diffuse it with a joke.

My wife had the ability to say three or four words that would crack a place up. When my daughter was 16, my son Robbie who was two years her senior said, 'Hey Dad, why don't you get Annie (pictured left) a nose job like her friends are doing for her 16th birthday?' In Beverly Hills, a couple of the parents had gotten their girls that gift. I said to Robbie, 'Her mother has got a nose bigger than Annie's and look at the guy she got.' Estelle said, 'It's not the size of your nose that counts; it's what's in it.' I told Steve Martin that and 10 years later he calls me and says, 'Hey, Carl, I'm doing a movie of 'Cyrano,' do you think I can use Estelle's line?' I told him, 'Absolutely.' And we got the pleasure of then seeing Cyrano say Estelle's line."

Don't Over-Think It
"You can't think about what's funny. It's really seat-of-the-pants stuff. If you can come up with something that tickles you, you just laugh and then you have it."

Be Your Own Critic
"If you can please yourself with your material, then you can please someone else. That's my thought. I don't look at something and say, 'Is this going to make someone else laugh?' I look at something and see if it makes me laugh. I'm not unusual."

If You're a Corny Dad, Then Own Your Corniness
"You have to have confidence ... If you're a corny person with corny jokes, it's OK, because your kids will still love you, because you're a good father. So you better be a good father. People are who they are. If you need a joke, here's one: 'He went peacefully in his sleep, not like the passengers in his car who were screaming in terror.' That's got a funny edge on it."

Looking for more expert advice? Check out some of our recent columns.
Deadliest Catch Survival Guide -- Could You Cut It?
Ron Darling Tosses Out Tips on Dealing With Big-Game Pressure
Live a Life of Extreme Laziness -- the Jim Gaffigan Way

 

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]]>carl reinerCarlReinerfatherfatherhoodfathers dayFathersDayAnthony Layser2009-06-18T14:00:00+00:00Talk the Talk -- Joe Buck's Guide to Speaking Off the Cuffhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/06/15/talk-the-talk-joe-bucks-guide-to-speaking-off-the-cuff/http://www.asylum.com/2009/06/15/talk-the-talk-joe-bucks-guide-to-speaking-off-the-cuff/http://www.asylum.com/2009/06/15/talk-the-talk-joe-bucks-guide-to-speaking-off-the-cuff/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

As the play-by-play voice for Fox's MLB and NFL broadcasts, Joe Buck is as comfortable as you can be in front of an audience sans script. His new HBO talk show "Joe Buck Live" will have the sportscaster pushing those skills in a new setting, attempting to meld interviews, comedy and, of course, athletics.

"The last thing I want to do is strictly sports," Buck told us. "There's going to be sports, certainly, but at the core it's going to be fun. That's why every episode is going to have a Funny or Die piece and a comedic roundtable."

Whether you call it extemporaneous speech, ad-libbing, speaking off the cuff or improv, we asked Buck to tell us some of the tricks of his trade.Don't Over-Prepare
Buck: "Play-by-play or fielding questions, the worst thing you can do is a lot of pre-planning about what you want to say. You've got to know what you want to do in broad, regular terms, and then just go where your mind takes you. Confidence then comes into play, and that has a lot to do with the ease in which you can pull it off ... It's got to be in the moment. It can't be canned. People are smart enough to tell when it's canned."

Know Your Guidelines
"You can talk off-the-cuff only if you are prepared. Like when you went to school -- you know when you are actually prepared, and when you're just hoping to get by. When you're prepared, you can go wherever you feel like going, because you've done your homework and you have a background to go into those areas. When you're not prepared, you're in deep water, because people quickly pick up when you're not educated on a topic."


Listening Is Key
"Like in any good conversation, it's really about listening. If you're interviewing someone or having a back-and-forth about a play in the NFL or Major League Baseball, you have to listen to what the other person says in order to react well off of it. If you're so hell-bent on getting to the next question, you may miss the elephant in the room. You never want to blow past something an interviewee reveals, just because you've got something to say loaded in the chamber and ready to fire."

Filling Time
"One time, I announced a live bass fishing event. The problem with that was it was live bass fishing, and the fish don't know they're supposed to bite between 4:30 and 6 p.m. Eastern. It was by far the toughest job I've ever had. I didn't know what a bass was. I didn't know why they liked certain lures. I had never heard of the people I was interviewing.

So I talked a lot about the weather and how the boats were crafted. I read up on some of the backgrounds of the anglers or fishermen or whatever you want to call them, and I asked them why they got a C in sophomore English. You've got to find any angle you can to fill time sometimes, when you don't know anything about the subject at hand. Fortunately, for me, there's no overtime in bass fishing, because I prepared exactly 90 minutes of material. If that show had gone 91 minutes, there would have been a minute of dead air."

Steering Clear of the Awkward
"You've got to run it through the filters. In your head, there's the politically correct filters, the profanity filters, the I-wonder-if-I-say-this-will-I-sound-like-the-dumbest-person-alive filters. When I was doing the bass fishing event, a friend called me afterward and said, 'Did you really say, "In the weigh-off, the fisher with the heaviest fish wins."' Obviously. Why else would you weigh them? So you got to be careful about being redundant, too."


Confidence to Take Chances
"In broadcasting, when guys are starting out and finally get to a national level, it becomes really vanilla. They become really scared of climbing out on a limb. They're afraid they're going to slip up and someone new is going to take their job next week ... You still have to have an opinion, and you have to be man enough to understand not everybody is going to like what you say. Once you get over that, it frees you up."

Topics to Avoid
"Race and politics are stuff I steer clear of during sports broadcasts. You can have a sense of humor without delving into hot-button issues. Of course, you don't have to be Howard Cosell, but you also don't have to be Howard Stern. In fact, you don't have to be anyone named Howard."

Never Try to Fake It
"Sports announcers are not the greatest actors. So when you try and fake something like you just thought of it, it's twice as bad. The clever little way you thought to describe something a week ago when you were falling asleep in bed doesn't usually end up fitting the situation. If you're actually in the moment, it's way more valuable and relevant. That being said, Bob Uecker is both a fantastic actor and a great sports announcer. I actually give out box sets of 'Mr. Belvedere' to my close friends around Christmas."

Looking for more expert advice? Check out some of our recent columns.
Ron Darling Tosses Out Tips on Dealing With Big-Game Pressure
Live a Life of Extreme Laziness -- the Jim Gaffigan Way
Ricky Gervais' Guide to Creating a Wildly Successful Podcast

 

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]]>broadcastingjoe buckJoe Buck LiveJoeBuckJoeBuckLiveAnthony Layser2009-06-15T14:00:00+00:00Bad Calls -- the Most Infamous Misstatements Ever Madehttp://www.asylum.com/2009/05/01/bad-calls-the-most-infamous-misstatements-ever-made/http://www.asylum.com/2009/05/01/bad-calls-the-most-infamous-misstatements-ever-made/http://www.asylum.com/2009/05/01/bad-calls-the-most-infamous-misstatements-ever-made/#commentsFiled under: ,

Six years ago today, then-President Bush stepped onto the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln and took the podium beneath a banner declaring "Mission Accomplished" regarding U.S. military operations in Iraq. At the time, what seemed most off about the event was the chief exec's codpiece, but soon the incident itself stirred controversy as the war in Iraq escalated.

While W has been called to task for "Mission Accomplished" many a time, history is chock full of quotes that turned out to be so incredibly wrong, they will never be forgotten. We've collected the best of the best in the gallery below to provide an important reminder that no matter how right you may think you are, there's a chance you will be remembered for being really, really wrong.

Bad Calls -- Historys Infamous Misstatements

    "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended." -- George W. Bush, May 1, 2003

    AP

    "You ain't goin' nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck." -- Jim Denny, Grand Ole Opry manager, firing Elvis Presley in 1954.

    Getty Images

    "640K of memory ought to be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981. Gates has since disavowed the statement.

    Getty Images

    "You'd better learn secretarial skills or else get married." -- A modeling agency's rejection of Marilyn Monroe in 1944.

    Getty Images

    "It will be years -- not in my time -- before a woman will become Prime Minister." -- Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in 1974.

    AP

    "That rainbow song's no good. Take it out." -- From an MGM memo after an early screening of "The Wizard Of Oz."

    Getty Images

    "We don't need you. You haven't got through college yet." -- Hewlett-Packard's rejection of Steve Jobs, co-founder and CEO of Apple Computers.

    AP

    "My good friends, this is the second time in our history that there has come back from Germany to Downing Street peace with honor. I believe it is peace in our time." -- British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain on September 30, 1938, less than a year prior to the start of WWII.

    Getty Images

    "It doesn't matter what he does -- he will never amount to anything." -- Albert Einstein's teacher to his father in 1895.

    Getty Images

    "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president of Digital Equipment Corporation, in 1977.

    AP

 

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]]>bad callsBadCallsjudgementmisstatementsmistakeAnthony Layser2009-05-01T13:30:00+00:00Turn Your Trip Into a Journey -- the Jim Jarmusch Wayhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/04/30/turn-your-trip-into-a-journey-the-jim-jarmusch-way/http://www.asylum.com/2009/04/30/turn-your-trip-into-a-journey-the-jim-jarmusch-way/http://www.asylum.com/2009/04/30/turn-your-trip-into-a-journey-the-jim-jarmusch-way/#commentsFiled under: , ,


Filmmaker Jim Jarmusch is a firm believer that it's not necessarily about the destination -- it's about the ride. From his early cult favorites "Stranger Than Paradise" and "Down by Law" to his 2005 Bill Murray road-trip flick "Broken Flowers," the Akron, Ohio, native sees travel as the ultimate way to ignite the imagination. "Every kind of storytelling from Homer and Virgil and Chaucer all the way up to road movies -- it's all about journeys," says Jarmusch. "It's the most obvious metaphor for one's life experience."

Jarmusch's latest movie "The Limits of Control" is yet another travelogue, following a mysterious loner who may be a courier or an assassin as he crisscrosses Spain. With this in mind, Asylum asked the writer-director to explain what sorts of efforts can be made to turn a regular old trip into an inspiring, life-affecting journey.

Jim Jarmusch explains how travel can change your outlook, as long as you're not shot by paramilitaries, after the jump.How Travel Opens the Mind
"There is a way to set your mind to an open setting. Traveling helps do that. There's something about it that opens the gates, because you're not sure what to expect, but you're curious and wondering ... The idea of moving through places or being in places that aren't completely familiar, totally changes your level of expectations. You don't have the expectations of certain habitual things. That really opens up everything."

Going From Point A to the Unknown
"I play a game when I travel to places I don't know. I start walking from wherever I'm staying with no plan and try to follow things that interest me until I think, 'Oh, s**t, where am I at? How do I find my way back?' I love that because I have no mission and no purpose other than following things that attract me like some kind of idiot."


Take in the Local Sounds
"Music leads me on my journey. It's sort of like the little row boat I first step into. Music opens your head to the world you've entered. On 'The Limits of Control,' the Flamenco element factored in, and I did a lot of research. It really informed and expressed the location."

An Open Mind Doesn't Mean Letting Your Guard Down
"You can go places that are dangerous and not really be aware of that. I've never had trouble other than having a couple guns pointed at me. Once in Spain and once in Italy I had guns pointed at me by paramilitaries or so-called police authorities. In Italy, I walked into a building adjacent to a train station and had guns pointed at me because it was some sort of military-police annex. I was young then and all dirty -- I probably scared them."

Great American Destinations
"One of my favorite cities in America is New Orleans. Talk about igniting the senses. There was something so magical and incredible there. Certainly the landscapes in the American West are incredibly striking to me. But I come from Akron, Ohio, so I also have a weird fondness for post-industrial landscapes like the outskirts of Gary, Ind., or the near east side of Cleveland. Those places can be interesting, too. But really you can be struck by something and inspired anywhere. You might be somewhere in the New Jersey suburbs. A memorable personal journey can really take place anywhere."

E-Mail Is a Leash
"I recommend light travel. Take as little as possible. I don't take a computer, as I don't have one. I do have a cell phone, and I love the Web, and I love the dissemination of information ... but I like being able to be somewhere where no one can get me. I don't like the leashes. E-mail is a leash. As a concept I love it, but it's still a leash."

Prepare for Inspiration
"Igor Stravinsky used to get up every day and work like he was in an office. On the other hand, Neil Young told me he wrote "Cowgirl in the Sand" and "Down by the River" when he woke up with a high fever. He woke up, and sketched them all out during a half-hour period on a piece of newspaper while he was lying on a bathroom floor in a motel. He went back to sleep for like 10 hours, woke up, and was like, 'What are these? Oh sh*t, these are songs.'

"So you don't know where inspiration is going to come from, but you have to be a receptor and let your mind open. That doesn't mean the ideas will flow, but if they do, you have to be ready to catch them. That's not necessarily inherent in the place you're traveling. It's your state of mind."

Looking for more expert advice? Check out some of our recent columns.
Jerry Stahl's Guide to Being Productive, Psychotic
Ricky Gervais' Guide to Creating a Wildly Successful Podcast
Gary Shteyngart's Guide to Being a Novelist
Aziz Anasari's Guide to Marketing Yourself

 

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]]>jim jarmuschJimJarmuschjourneythe limits of controlTheLimitsOfControltraveltravelingAnthony Layser2009-04-30T14:00:00+00:00What Does Matt Stafford Have to Do to Earn $72 Million?http://www.asylum.com/2009/04/27/what-does-matt-stafford-have-to-do-to-earn-72-million/http://www.asylum.com/2009/04/27/what-does-matt-stafford-have-to-do-to-earn-72-million/http://www.asylum.com/2009/04/27/what-does-matt-stafford-have-to-do-to-earn-72-million/#commentsFiled under:


As the first pick in this past weekend's NFL Draft, former Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford will get $41.7 million guaranteed. The six-year deal with the Detroit Lions could eventually earn him as much as $72 million. Stafford has not thrown a single NFL pass nor taken an NFL snap, meaning there's a chance the Lions just bet the farm on the next Ryan Leaf.

But what if he's not a complete failure? To put things in perspective, Johnny Unitas landed a $7,000 contract in 1956. Two decades later, Notre Dame grad Joe Montana scored $50,000 plus a $50,000 signing bonus. If Stafford has a career even remotely as impressive as those two quarterbacks, the Lions will probably feel as though the comparatively ludicrous paycheck they've signed is money well spent.

So what do you think Stafford has to achieve to be worth it? Let us know, and check out the other sports-related stories on our radar below:
Bull-Celtics series thrills, captivates. (Fanhouse)
Bears fan goes way overboard with tattoos. (Kissing Suzy Kolber)
NY lawmakers to vote on allowing MMA. (Cage Potato)
Erin Andrews and Bill Cosby team for awkward comedy bit. (Deadspin)

 

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]]>detroit lionsDetroitLionsmatthew staffordMatthewStaffordnfl draftNflDraftAnthony Layser2009-04-27T13:30:00+00:00Asylum Goes to France to Test Cupholders in New VW GTIhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/04/17/asylum-goes-to-france-to-test-cupholders-in-new-vw-gti/http://www.asylum.com/2009/04/17/asylum-goes-to-france-to-test-cupholders-in-new-vw-gti/http://www.asylum.com/2009/04/17/asylum-goes-to-france-to-test-cupholders-in-new-vw-gti/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Gearheads are flocking to the 2009 New York Auto Show to see the latest in automotive ingenuity. One of the rides up for perusal is the sixth-generation Volkswagen Golf, also known as the 2010 VW GTI. Asylum got an invite to test drive the GTI a few weeks prior to the show in the South of France and Monaco. Since we know very, very little about cars, the video below is the best review we could muster.

 

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]]>anthony layserAnthonyLaysergtimonacosouth of franceSouthOfFrancevolkswagenAnthony Layser2009-04-17T14:00:00+00:00Ron Darling Tosses Out Tips on Dealing With Big-Game Pressurehttp://www.asylum.com/2009/04/14/ron-darling-tosses-out-tips-on-dealing-with-big-game-pressure/http://www.asylum.com/2009/04/14/ron-darling-tosses-out-tips-on-dealing-with-big-game-pressure/http://www.asylum.com/2009/04/14/ron-darling-tosses-out-tips-on-dealing-with-big-game-pressure/#commentsFiled under: , ,



On baseball's biggest stage in the 1986 World Series, the New York Mets' Ron Darling pitched seven shutout innings in game four. It came at a critical moment and effectively swung the momentum, helping to secure the Mets a victory en route to a championship. Many have argued he was even more valuable to New York than Bill Buckner.

Darling has since retired from the game, but as a baseball analyst for TBS and SNY he still uses some of the lessons he learned on the pitcher's mound, from exuding confidence to focusing on the task at hand. He also recently wrote his first book, "The Complete Game," which examines the mental aspects of throwing a baseball in the majors. We caught up with Darling and asked him to give us some pointers on handling big-time, high-pressure situations.

After the jump, Darling dishes on everything from the importance of confidence to how the hard-partying lifestyle of the 1986 Mets gave that team character.Confidence -- Whether Real or Faked -- Is Key
Darling: "At times, I really dealt with pressure well, and at other times, I did not. That is the problem -- finding where your comfort zone is. That's the most difficult thing to do. I did it by trying to use my intelligence and match that up with my physical gifts. And even if you don't feel it, you need to trick yourself into having this great feeling of confidence. Even feigned confidence is better than no confidence at all. Just go into it with, I give my team the best chance to win every time I take that mound. When it's time to go is when you can no longer, honestly, say that before the game."

Don't Just Rely on Your Gifts
"When you get to professional baseball, everyone was the best player from their town. Everyone was the hero, so you have to learn quickly that it's going to take a lot more than physical gifts to succeed. It's the ones who handle their insides the best are the ones that are going to stick around."

Don't Change Your Routine for the Big Games
"When I pitched in the World Series, there was added pressure you can't get away from. But the men and women who deal with high pressure the best are the ones who can keep the task succinctly simple. There are so many outside distractions. For me, it was everything from 50,000 screaming fans to family members wanting tickets. The guys who can reach back and say, It's still a baseball game. I still have to throw strike one. I still have to get out one. I still want to limit my pitches. Those are the guys who have the most success."

Remember What You've Been Taught
"I always thought my teammate Keith Hernandez was one of the best at dealing with big games. He would get fired up, but he would go back to the basics. After the game, I say, 'How did you feel tonight?' He'd sometimes say, 'I didn't feel so great. I talked to my dad and he said I was dropping my shoulder.' So his father who taught him how to hit when he was 6 years old was still his best hitting coach. When push comes to shove, you've got rely on the simple things you learned when you were young. That's your foundation."

Keep It Simple
"I was taught by my father how to play the game correctly, so every broadcast I have, I concentrate like I'm talking to my father -- like my father is the guy watching the game. When I'm able to do that, I always have a good broadcast."

Do It With Character
"The [1986 Mets were] very close. There were a lot of shenanigans, because of that. We were so young and we had such hubris. We thought we could do it forever. So on a microeconomic level, it might have hurt us as far as our chances of being one of the great teams of all time. But our chemistry did produce one of the great seasons of all time. One-hundred-eight wins is nothing to sneeze at. But it wasn't only the wins, it was the way we did it. We fought together, we cried together, we laughed together, and we had a beer together. That's one of the reasons Mets fans love that team."

Looking for more expert advice? Check out some of our recent columns.
Rollie Fingers' Guide to Sporting a Sweet Handlebar Mustache
Live a Life of Extreme Laziness -- the Jim Gaffigan Way
The Gentlemen's Guide to Dumping Your Girl

 

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]]>pitchingpressureron darlingRonDarlingstressthe complete gameTheCompleteGameAnthony Layser2009-04-14T14:00:00+00:00Celebs Who Must Have Mustaches -- Bare Lips Sink Shipshttp://www.asylum.com/2009/04/07/celebs-who-must-have-mustaches-bare-lips-sink-ships/http://www.asylum.com/2009/04/07/celebs-who-must-have-mustaches-bare-lips-sink-ships/http://www.asylum.com/2009/04/07/celebs-who-must-have-mustaches-bare-lips-sink-ships/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Musician John Oates of Hall & Oates fame is celebrating his 60th birthday, but unfortunately the true, mustachioed Oates is long dead. In an Entertainment Weekly interview from 2006, Oates even tried to defend his self-defacement by saying this about shaving his legendary lip hair: "It was a psychically freeing moment. I'm sure it didn't mean anything to anyone else, but it was very important to me."

Well, guess what, John? It meant the world to us.

You, like so many other entertainers and sports figures, have gained our esteem and admiration while rocking a serious 'stache. When you blithely bare your lip, you not only lose some major twinkle from your star power, but you also look very unsettling. In the gallery below, we've rounded up celebs who've gone astray (i.e. gone clean shaven). Caution: It's not pretty.

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Celebs Who Must Have Mustaches
Click on the image above to behold the power of the soup-strainer.
Getty Images (2)
Reuters
Carnival 2009

Celebs Who Must Have Mustaches

    Tom Selleck
    "Magnum P.I." minus a mustache equals TV movies and James Caan's sloppy "Las Vegas" seconds.

    Getty Images (2)

    Burt Reynolds
    No mustache was as famous or as important as Burt Reynolds' back in the day. Without it, the eye can't help but be drawn to the toupee.

    Getty Images (2)

    Alex Trebek
    With the 'stache, we believe Trebek actually knows the answers. Alas, a swipe of the blade leaves the Jeopardy host's bathroom sink covered in a scum of tiny hairs, shaving cream, and intellectual authority.

    Getty Images (2)

    Chuck Norris
    Can you imagine "Walker, Texas Ranger" without a 'stache? No, you can't, because it would involve creating a nightmarish alternate dimension no man would even dare imagine.

    Getty Images (2)

    Larry Bird
    Larry Legend is one of the greatest players in NBA history. However, without the 'stache, some have made the observation that he resembles an aging lesbian.

    Getty Images (2)

    Eddie Murphy
    In addition to playing a morbidly obese woman, Murphy also shaved his 'stache to play the title role in "Norbit." This is one of many reasons there will not be a sequel.

    Getty Images (2)

    Lemmy Kilmister
    Motorhead's Lemmy Kilmister is a rock icon befitting of a handlebar. Shaven, he looks like the roadie in "Wayne's World 2."

    Getty Images (2)

    Carl Weathers
    We're pretty sure Rocky could've beaten the crap out of Apollo in that first fight had Apollo fought 'stache-less.

    Getty Images (2)

    Johnny Depp
    We'll take the drunken, eyeliner-wearing, mustachioed pirate over the top hat-wearing pederast-y Johnny Depp any day.

    ZUMA Press (1) / AP (1)

    Don Mattingly
    The Donnie Baseball we choose to remember is the nose-bearded star of the much more palatable '80s Yankees teams that struggled to win, and had a payroll smaller than the GDP of Portugal.

    Getty Images (2)

 

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]]>facial hairFacialHairjohn oatesJohnOatesmustachemustachestom selleckTomSelleckAnthony Layser2009-04-07T13:30:00+00:00Famous People Who Were Shot ... and Lived!http://www.asylum.com/2009/03/30/famous-people-who-were-shot-and-lived/http://www.asylum.com/2009/03/30/famous-people-who-were-shot-and-lived/http://www.asylum.com/2009/03/30/famous-people-who-were-shot-and-lived/#commentsFiled under:

Twenty-eight years ago, Ronald Reagan survived an assassination attempt a mere 69 days into his presidency. Within a day of surgery to treat his injuries from the shooting, he signed legislation. It was a sign of grit and toughness that garnered the respect of a nation.

Without a doubt, there's a lot of being in the wrong place at the wrong time involved in getting shot. Another contributing factor may be that you're the type of guy who makes people really, really mad. But regardless of why people get shot, making a full recovery allows most victims to wear the ordeal as a badge of courage.

In the gallery below, we've collected a host of celebrities and historical figures who've taken a bullet and lived. They range from the badass (Teddy Roosevelt) to not so badass (Plaxico Burress).



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They Were Shot ... and Lived
Did you know Alfalfa got shot? He did, and so did many other public figures who can be found in this gallery.
Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Phil Walter, Getty Images

They Were Shot ... and Lived

    Carl Switzer
    Best known as Alfalfa from "Little Rascals," Switzer lived a pretty crazy life. He married a grain elevator heiress, gave hunting tours in Montana, and was shot by an unknown gunman while getting in his car in January 1958. He survived the shooting, but a year later 1959, he was shot and killed during a scuffle over a debt. We're sure Spanky shed a tear at the funeral.

    Hulton Archive/Getty Images

    50 Cent
    On May 24, 2000, Fitty, real name Curtis Jackson, was shot nine times. That's right -- nine times. He took bullets in the hand, arm, hip, both legs, chest, and left cheek. The fact that he is not dead leads us to believe he may have been rebuild by doctors Robocop-style.

    Dave Hogan, Getty Images

    Bob Marley
    On December 3, 1976, seven gunmen entered the Kingston, Jamaica estate of Bob Marley, the world's best-known reggae performer. Marley and three other people were shot, but miraculously there were no fatalities. Less than a month later, Marley went on stage in front of 85,000 at the Smile Jamaica festival proving himself unfazed by the attack.

    Hulton Archive/Getty Images

    Larry Flynt
    On March 6, 1978, Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and his lawyer were shot outside a Gwinnett County, Georgia courthouse. A white supremacist serial killer confessed to the shootings, saying he was outraged by an interracial photo shoot in Hustler. However, it is rumored that he did enjoy the magazine's monthly Beaver Hunt feature.

    Fredrick Brown, Getty Images

    Vladamir Lenin
    On August 30 1918, the first head of the Soviet state survived an assassination attempt on the way to his car. He was hit twice, once in the arm, and the other between his jaw and neck. Surviving the attack made him an even more popular leader, a move embattled politicians may want to think about emulating.

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    Garrett Morris
    In 1994, the "SNL" alum was shot in a robbery attempt. Morris claims his incarcerated fans were "bery, bery" good to him, and beat up his assailant in prison.

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    Andy Warhol
    On June 3, 1968, artist Andy Warhol was shot in his studio by Valerie Solanas, a former associate. Warhol barely survived (legend has it that doctors opened him up and massaged his heart to help it beat again). The incident was later made into a film about Solanas, which was fittingly titled "I Shot Andy Warhol."

    Hulton Archive/Getty Images

    Plaxico Burress
    Not everyone who's been shot and lived gets respect. Last year, wide receiver Plaxico Burress shot himself while partying at a nightclub. His team, the New York Giants, then shot themselves in the foot, losing to the Philadelphia Eagles in the playoffs.

    Getty Images

    Theodore Roosevelt
    While campaigning for president on October 14, 1912, a gunman fired at Theodore Roosevelt from point blank range. En route to a speech, Roosevelt's manuscript containing the address he was to deliver slowed the bullet's entry into his body. Undeterred, he then gave the speech, with his blood staining his vest. Alas, he did not make it to the speech's end before collapsing, and being rushed to the hospital. We're pretty sure this exhibition of badassness must've delivered at least a few thousand votes.

    Hulton Archive/Getty Images

    Grigori Rasputin
    Known as the "Mad Monk," the Russian mystic was thought by many to have too much influence over the Tsaritsa. So on December 16, 1916, conspirators carried out a plot to kill him at a dinner party. First they poisoned him with a huge dose of cyanide. When that didn't work, he was shot four times. No luck. He was then clubbed and tossed in the Moika River, where he drowned. For sheer toughness, we're thinking it's a toss up with Teddy Roosevelt.

    Hulton Archive/Getty Images

 

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