Much like trips to the proctologist, I'm somewhat distressed in announcing that The American Mustache Institute faculty and administration will shave their mustaches for the first time since Richard Nixon was in office. At least it is for a worthy cause. The organization's leaders will do this on Nov. 1 as part of Movember, the charitable mustache-growing campaign benefiting the Prostate Cancer ...

Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert. It's time. The wait is over. The American Mustache Institute (AMI) has announced the 19 finalists for its Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year, an honor that has been likened to the Nobel Peace Prize by Time magazine, astrophysicist Stephen Hawking and High Times. Voting is now open. The "Goulet" recognizes ...

Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert. Recently on the American Mustache Institute blog, we reported on the now-infamous Cigar Guy -- who appears in faux mustache and wig in the background of a photograph of Tiger Woods taken in Wales at the recent Ryder Cup by a Daily Mail photographer. People wanted to know who this man, or woman, was. And why were they so curious? ...

Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert. I have very few interests. They include such things as mustaches, of course, as well as mullets, monkeys, Muppets and Mr. T. A new favorite is mascots. And if you didn't realize it, we are in the midst of mascot season, what with the 16-member All-America Mascot Team currently in the process of competing for the Capital One Mascot ...

Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert. Last week, the American Mustache Institute (AMI) began accepting nominations for the 2010 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year, the award Time magazine, the "NBC Nightly News With Brian Williams," physicist Stephen Hawking, and High Times have suggested is on par with the Nobel Peace Prize. The award, of course, ...

Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert. St. Louis Cardinals General Manager John Mozeliak has done a commendable job restocking his Major League Baseball team's shelves since taking the reigns from Walt Jocketty in 2007. This season, however, once filled with promise, now seems destined for a disappointing finish. And as Mozeliak looks to a busy off-season preparing ...

Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert. When a professional football player behaves foolishly, we look to the National Football League and his team for commentary. The same holds true for carnie dwarfs who run afoul of authorities. In those cases, we look to Barnum & Bailey or the American Carnie Justice League for guidance. But when a person of Mustached American ...

Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert. I'm a dreamer. My fascination with Mr. T causes me to repeatedly dream that I'm his sidekick in "A-Team" episodes. I've also always dreamed of being a mascot. To be large, fluffy and with a permanent expression no matter what the situation -- like, remaining cool under pressure, akin to Chuck Norris even when surrounded by a ...

Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert. The 2009 Major League Baseball season was one to remember for St. Louis Cardinals shortstop Brendan Ryan. Previously an also-ran utility infielder, Ryan transformed his play after growing an award-winning lip sweater. His facial hair coincided with his receiving All-Star consideration, displaying Gold Glove–caliber defense ...

Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert. The state of Georgia has seen its share of embarrassing imbroglios in recent years. There's been the ugly debate about the Rebel "Stainless Banner" remaining on the state's flag. And then there was the dog-killing atrocities committed by NFL football player Ron Mexico, aka Michael Vick. Add to that list an incident involving ...