The Hate by Numbers Finale -- Gladstone Says Goodbye

With Asylum going the way of the dinosaurs, Gladstone has decided to bring his series "Hate by Numbers" to an end (at least for now). He created an epic hybrid of an original episode and a best-of compilation for this final installment -- a structure we can only guess he learned from such timeless classics as "Family Ties" and "Golden Girls." So sit back, relax, and watch Gladstone count off...

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Local News Reports on Least Convincing Monster Sighting Ever

Sure, any jackass can Photoshop a picture to falsify a monster sighting, but it takes a special kind of incompetence to report upon it as fact. While rare, these sorts of "journalists" actually do exist. Watch Gladstone count off a local Louisiana news affiliate's epic fail in the latest installment of Hate by Numbers ... Check out Gladstone's site, become his Facebook fan, and follow him...

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Fleshlight Sex Toy Promo a Deeply Baffling Marketing Experience

Sure, having sex with a flashlight that sheaths a rubber vagina sounds like a great idea. But is such an idea feasible? In the latest installment of Hate by Numbers, Gladstone counts off five of the more perplexing points of the Fleshlight (link NSFW) instructional video....

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'Unstoppable' Proves Denzel Washington Doesn't Even Care Anymore

In Tony Scott's latest movie, "Unstoppable," Denzel Washington finally shakes off his last remaining shreds of artistic integrity while playing a role tailor-made for Bruce Willis, Keanu Reeves or some composite leading man / CGI creation. And the leading lady for this "Speed"-on-a-train creation? Chris Pine, who, in fairness, is just about as pretty as Sandra Bullock. Watch Gladstone count off...

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'Whip My Hair' -- Proof That Will Smith Is All-Powerful Ruler of Showbiz

How powerful is Will Smith? Powerful enough to make a recording career materialize out of nowhere for his 9-year-old daughter, Willow. And that's saying something considering the video for her new song "Whip My Hair" indicates she's still not yet old enough to be trusted around paint. In the latest installment of "Hate by Numbers," Gladstone counts off some of the complexities regarding Miss...

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The New Nancy Grace -- TV Judge or Legal Dominatrix?

Well, it was only a matter of time before someone decided to give Nancy Grace -- former prosecutor and present television pariah -- her own fake-court TV show. And that time is now. Nancy Grace takes all her sneer and criminal-prosecutor swagger and directs it at cases involving dog bites and ruined dry cleaning. In other words, standard unwatchable fare. In this installment of Hate by Numbers,...

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TLC's 'Sister Wives' Explores One Man's Effort to Screw Four Spouses

TLC (formerly The Learning Channel) has a reputation for simultaneously ensuring that its viewers receive neither education nor entertainment from its programs. And, sure, anyone can create a kind of intellectually numbing malaise from topics on science and history, but with its newest show, TLC takes it up a notch. Behold "The Sister Wives." Can TLC examine one Mormon's sex life and still make...

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'Wall Street' Sequel -- Greed Is Not Going to Be Good

In an apparent move to destroy any remaining shreds of his artistic credibility, Oliver Stone is releasing the sequel to his 1987 film "Wall Street" later this month. "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" follows the relationship between Gordon Gekko (just released from prison) and his future son-in-law, who is battling a severe testosterone deficiency. It's a role Shia LaBeouf was born to play. ...

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'Stop the Mosque at Ground Zero' -- Worst Protest Song Ever Written?

Sometimes a protest song comes along that embodies the spirit of an entire movement and shows those in power the true meaning of freedom. Other times, a songwriter takes four minutes of factually incorrect, xenophobic paranoia and sets it to music befitting a "South Park" parody. In the latest installment of Hate by Numbers, Gladstone counts off on the latter of the two -- Trade Martin's "We...

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Four New Fall Shows That Will Make You Want to Kill Your TV

Some people say TV is dead. Well, network execs have heard these proclamations and have responded with four new shows seemingly designed to prove everyone right. "$#*! My Dad Says," "The Defenders," "No Ordinary Family" and "Law & Order: Los Angeles" are all coming your way this fall. Before they arrive, Gladstone counts off their trailers in the latest installment of "Hate by Numbers."...

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