Geezer Lies About Military Record to Impress Younger Woman, Gets Busted

Every guy lies a little bit when he's trying to get a woman into the sack, but a man named Roger Day may have taken things too far when he told a woman 24 years his junior that he was the most-decorated war hero in England. And she married him! The phony veteran was busted at a Remembrance Day parade when someone noticed his "impossible" array of medals for bravery in wars spanning World War II...

Read More »

Great Grandmother Gets Plastic Surgery to Look Like Jessica Rabbit

There's no denying that Jessica Rabbit ranks among the top of anyone's list of doable cartoon characters. But nobody asked for this: A 57-year-old great-grandmother from England spent roughly $16,000 to look like the "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" sexpot. Annette Edwards said the idea came from her infatuation with the fictional starlet from the 1988 comedy. "I'd always been fascinated with the car...

Read More »

Ingenious Donor Center Offers a Free Beer for a Pint of Your Blood

If we've said it once, we've said it a hundred times -- if you want to see the best in people, offer them free beer. Never has this been more apparent than in Tacoma, Wash., where a bloodmobile has seen a massive increase in donors since it began its "give blood, get beer" promotion. The program, created by Cascade Regional Blood Services, is brilliant in its simplicity: It offers a free pint o...

Read More »

Kamikaze Iguanas Are Falling From Trees in South Florida

It was thought to be an urban legend but has now been confirmed: Iguanas are dropping from the skies in Florida, seemingly killing themselves by leaping out of trees. Just a typical day in the Sunshine State. Experts say the dive-bombing lizards are the result of South Florida's record-low temperatures, which cause the iguanas to go into a form of hibernation and fall out of their perches in tr...

Read More »

Man's Penis Dislodged From Pipe With Industrial Grinder

In penises-getting-stuck-in-things news, a man in southern England got his penis stuck in a metal pipe on Tuesday morning and had to get it freed with an industrial grinder. The unfortunate gent, in his early 40s, showed up at Southampton General Hospital with his penis stuck in the pipe but did not explain how the little devil got in there. Because the pipe was restricting blood flow and preve...

Read More »

Woman Trashes McDonald's Over Bad Hamburger

First, McNuggets led to violence at a McDonald's in Toledo. Now a hamburger is to blame for a rampage at a McDonald's in Kansas City. When will the fast-food crime spree end? Cops are on the lookout for a woman who caused thousands of dollars in damage on Dec. 27 after being told she couldn't get her money back for a hamburger she disliked. Employees offered to replace the burger, but that appa...

Read More »

Firefighters Battle Flames, Pythons in Utah

Firefighters in St. George, Utah, responded to a trailer-home fire on Thursday to find its distressed owner and his 19 distressed snakes inside. Not since Pee-Wee Herman rescued handfuls of garter snakes from a burning pet store in "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" has a more harrowing reptile rescue been attempted. "We just knocked the fire down and then ventilated it and removed the animals as quickl...

Read More »

Woman Punches Drive-Thru Window Over Lack of McNuggets

Inner-city crime is a serious problem, even when that inner city is Toledo and the crime is Chicken McNugget-based. Melodi Dushane, 24, became so incensed when a McDonald's drive-thru cashier told her that McNuggets weren't available for breakfast that she punched through the window and tried to attack employees. It's the same old story. Girl finds out nuggets aren't served before 11 a.m., g...

Read More »

Beer Can Alarm Thwarts Intruder

Never underestimate the ingenuity of beer drinkers. Last week, an old man in a North Dakota apartment complex rigged up a home alarm system made of empty beer cans, and it actually worked! Police were initially summoned to the building after a report at 1:24 a.m. of two elderly naked men attacking each other. They weren't naked, although the tenant was in his underwear, having been awoken when ...

Read More »

Designer Creates 'Star Wars' Paper Models

We've seen a lot of great "Star Wars" handiwork this year: a nativity scene featuring R2-D2, a Millennium Falcon bed, even a storm trooper riding a chipmunk. But that still didn't prepare us for the sheer technical achievement of a new series of "Star Wars" paper models by Japanese designer Shunichi Makino. These handmade marvels include a TIE Fighter, the Millennium Falcon, R2-D2, an AT-AT ...

Read More »