Asylum http://www.asylum.com Asylum http://www.asylum.com/media/feedlogo.gif Asylum http://www.asylum.com en-us Copyright 2012 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only. Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/Geezer Lies About Military Record to Impress Younger Woman, Gets Bustedhttp://www.asylum.com/2010/01/14/roger-day-tries-to-impress-younger-woman-Maxine-with-fake-war-medals/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/14/roger-day-tries-to-impress-younger-woman-Maxine-with-fake-war-medals/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/14/roger-day-tries-to-impress-younger-woman-Maxine-with-fake-war-medals/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Every guy lies a little bit when he's trying to get a woman into the sack, but a man named Roger Day may have taken things too far when he told a woman 24 years his junior that he was the most-decorated war hero in England. And she married him!

The phony veteran was busted at a Remembrance Day parade when someone noticed his "impossible" array of medals for bravery in wars spanning World War II to the Gulf War.

Day, 62, told police that he lied about his military service in order to impress a younger woman, Maxine, whom he ended up marrying in 2005. "Maxine needed a hero in her life," he said.

Day, who admitted guilt, was forced to relinquish his medals and will be required to perform 60 hours of community service. Maybe he should have hired an attorney who claimed to have 17 different law degrees.

 

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]]>englandgulf warGulfWarlyingmedalsroger dayRogerDaywar heroWarHeroworld war iiWorldWarIiNick Prueher2010-01-14T10:30:00+00:00Great Grandmother Gets Plastic Surgery to Look Like Jessica Rabbithttp://www.asylum.com/2010/01/13/great-grandmother-annette-edwards-gets-plastic-surgery-to-look-like-jessica-rabb/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/13/great-grandmother-annette-edwards-gets-plastic-surgery-to-look-like-jessica-rabb/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/13/great-grandmother-annette-edwards-gets-plastic-surgery-to-look-like-jessica-rabb/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

There's no denying that Jessica Rabbit ranks among the top of anyone's list of doable cartoon characters. But nobody asked for this: A 57-year-old great-grandmother from England spent roughly $16,000 to look like the "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" sexpot.

Annette Edwards said the idea came from her infatuation with the fictional starlet from the 1988 comedy. "I'd always been fascinated with the cartooon character Jessica Rabbit," she told the ITV program "This Morning." "I thought she was stunning, and for years I longed to look like my idol."

So, naturally, Edwards spent a chunk of change getting a breast lift, a face lift and a chin implant to transform herself into a poor woman's Ms. Rabbit. And she's pleased with the results. According to Edwards, Playboy has even contacted her about doing a photo shoot.

While we pray that photo spread never sees the light of day, here's hoping that Edwards one day finds her soul mate: an elderly man who's had plastic surgery to look like Bugs Bunny.

See Edwards talk about her surgery and her love of actual rabbits after the jump.

 

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]]>annette edwardsAnnetteEdwardsenglandjessica rabbitJessicaRabbitplastic surgeryPlasticSurgeryplayboywho framed roger rabbitWhoFramedRogerRabbitNick Prueher2010-01-13T09:00:00+00:00Ingenious Donor Center Offers a Free Beer for a Pint of Your Bloodhttp://www.asylum.com/2010/01/12/tacoma-donor-center-offers-free-beer-for-blood/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/12/tacoma-donor-center-offers-free-beer-for-blood/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/12/tacoma-donor-center-offers-free-beer-for-blood/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

If we've said it once, we've said it a hundred times -- if you want to see the best in people, offer them free beer. Never has this been more apparent than in Tacoma, Wash., where a bloodmobile has seen a massive increase in donors since it began its "give blood, get beer" promotion.

The program, created by Cascade Regional Blood Services, is brilliant in its simplicity: It offers a free pint of beer for a donated pint of blood. "It's just a fun thing to do," Dan Schmitt, Cascade's director of donor services, told "The News Tribune" of Tacoma.

The bloodmobile pulls up to a local pub and gives a coupon for a free beer to every good Samaritan who gives blood that day. The only catch is that donors need to be at least 21, and they must wait six hours before cashing in their coupons.

"Give Blood, Get Beer" has been so successful in Tacoma that it's expanding this month to other Washington cities. College students will still have to donate plasma, however, to get money for weed.

 

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]]>beerbloodbloodmobileGive Blood Get BeerGiveBloodGetBeerTacomawashingtonNick Prueher2010-01-12T09:00:00+00:00Kamikaze Iguanas Are Falling From Trees in South Floridahttp://www.asylum.com/2010/01/11/kamikaze-iguanas-are-falling-from-trees-in-south-florida/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/11/kamikaze-iguanas-are-falling-from-trees-in-south-florida/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/11/kamikaze-iguanas-are-falling-from-trees-in-south-florida/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

It was thought to be an urban legend but has now been confirmed: Iguanas are dropping from the skies in Florida, seemingly killing themselves by leaping out of trees. Just a typical day in the Sunshine State.

Experts say the dive-bombing lizards are the result of South Florida's record-low temperatures, which cause the iguanas to go into a form of hibernation and fall out of their perches in tree branches. When outside temperatures dip below 40 degrees (far below the animals' preferred 80s and 90s), they shut down.

"It's almost like they go totally to sleep," Ron Magill from Miami Metrozoo told local ABC affiliate WPLG. "Generally speaking, if it warms up afterwards, they can recover."

But the falling reptiles are really just a symptom of a larger problem. Iguanas are one of the most invasive species in all of Florida, having made their way to the state as pets many years ago. Magill sees their hibernation as a possible way to corral them -- if the cold doesn't finish them off altogether.

The forecast for Miami tonight calls for lows in the mid-40s, with a 20-percent chance of iguana showers. Check out a news video of kamikaze iguanas on the next page.

 

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]]>floridaiguanaskamikazelizardsRon MagillRonMagillNick Prueher2010-01-11T09:00:00+00:00Man's Penis Dislodged From Pipe With Industrial Grinderhttp://www.asylum.com/2010/01/08/mans-penis-dislodged-from-pipe-with-industrial-grinder/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/08/mans-penis-dislodged-from-pipe-with-industrial-grinder/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/08/mans-penis-dislodged-from-pipe-with-industrial-grinder/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

In penises-getting-stuck-in-things news, a man in southern England got his penis stuck in a metal pipe on Tuesday morning and had to get it freed with an industrial grinder.

The unfortunate gent, in his early 40s, showed up at Southampton General Hospital with his penis stuck in the pipe but did not explain how the little devil got in there. Because the pipe was restricting blood flow and preventing the organ from going flaccid, doctors were stumped.

That's when a squad of firefighters showed up with a 4-1/2-inch metal grinder. In what they described to the Southampton Daily Echo as a "delicate operation," the firefighters cut the pipe from around the man's penis. Luckily for the man, a healthy dose of anesthesia was administered first.

"It ... required a very steady hand and the crew was worried about things getting too hot during the cutting," a fire department spokesperson told the newspaper. But the operation was a success and -- rejoice! -- the penis is still usable, despite some bruising and swelling. Said the spokesperson, "I'm sure the man won't be getting into that situation again."

We're not so sure. If the mood strikes him and another metal pipe is nearby, there's no telling what could happen.

 

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]]>englandfirefightersgrinderpenissouthamptonstuckNick Prueher2010-01-08T09:00:00+00:00Woman Trashes McDonald's Over Bad Hamburgerhttp://www.asylum.com/2010/01/07/woman-trashes-mcdonalds-over-bad-hamburger/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/07/woman-trashes-mcdonalds-over-bad-hamburger/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/07/woman-trashes-mcdonalds-over-bad-hamburger/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

First, McNuggets led to violence at a McDonald's in Toledo. Now a hamburger is to blame for a rampage at a McDonald's in Kansas City. When will the fast-food crime spree end?

Cops are on the lookout for a woman who caused thousands of dollars in damage on Dec. 27 after being told she couldn't get her money back for a hamburger she disliked. Employees offered to replace the burger, but that apparently wasn't good enough for this picky beef connoisseur.

Surveillance video shows her tossing a "Caution -- Wet Floor" sign over the counter, and a bucket of water after it. Then she pushes three cash registers and a glass case off the counter before fleeing the premises. Just a typical day at the Golden Arches.

See the outrageous video, co-starring three kids who almost get in the way of the mayhem, after the jump.


From the Web:
Do Not Mess With This Deer
Bambi is not effing around. (Burbia)
Sexy Motivational Posters
Images to inspire all types of success. (The Chive)

 

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]]>hamburgerkansas cityKansasCitymcdonaldsrampageNick Prueher2010-01-07T09:00:00+00:00Firefighters Battle Flames, Pythons in Utahhttp://www.asylum.com/2010/01/06/firefighters-battle-flames-pythons-in-utah/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/06/firefighters-battle-flames-pythons-in-utah/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/06/firefighters-battle-flames-pythons-in-utah/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

Firefighters in St. George, Utah, responded to a trailer-home fire on Thursday to find its distressed owner and his 19 distressed snakes inside. Not since Pee-Wee Herman rescued handfuls of garter snakes from a burning pet store in "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" has a more harrowing reptile rescue been attempted.

"We just knocked the fire down and then ventilated it and removed the animals as quickly as we found them," deputy chief Kevin Taylor said. The snakes, most of them pythons, ranged from 4- to 18-feet long and required two or three people at a time to carry them out.

As firefighters carted off the 11 snakes that survived the fire, owner Mark Knight tried in vain to resuscitate a 12th snake by massaging it and blowing into its mouth with a tube, which is exactly as weird as it sounds.

No fault was found in the fire, although a defective heat lamp in one of the snake's cages was discovered to be the culprit.

All reptile owners are advised to check the wattage and wiring of all heat lamps to prevent such incidents. They're also advised that owning lots of snakes will prevent any women from ever coming over to their places.

 

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]]>Pee-Wee HermanPee-weeHermanPee-Wees Big AdventurePee-weesBigAdventurepythonrescuesnakesutahNick Prueher2010-01-06T18:30:00+00:00Woman Punches Drive-Thru Window Over Lack of McNuggetshttp://www.asylum.com/2010/01/05/woman-punches-drive-thru-window-over-lack-of-mcnuggets/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/05/woman-punches-drive-thru-window-over-lack-of-mcnuggets/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/05/woman-punches-drive-thru-window-over-lack-of-mcnuggets/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Inner-city crime is a serious problem, even when that inner city is Toledo and the crime is Chicken McNugget-based.

Melodi Dushane, 24, became so incensed when a McDonald's drive-thru cashier told her that McNuggets weren't available for breakfast that she punched through the window and tried to attack employees.

It's the same old story. Girl finds out nuggets aren't served before 11 a.m., girl reaches into drive-thru and punches clerk in mouth, manager intervenes and gets hit as well, manager tries to pull girl through window by hair, girl punches through window and gets arrested.

The judge in the case, apparently tough on crime, banned Dushane from visiting that particular McDonald's location. This may prevent future McNugget incidents at that restaurant, but to get to the root of the problem it really has to start with education.

Parents, please teach your kids: McDonald's hours and menu availability may vary by location.

 

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]]>crimemcdonaldsmcnuggetsohioNick Prueher2010-01-05T09:00:00+00:00Beer Can Alarm Thwarts Intruderhttp://www.asylum.com/2010/01/04/beer-can-alarm-thwarts-intruder/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/04/beer-can-alarm-thwarts-intruder/http://www.asylum.com/2010/01/04/beer-can-alarm-thwarts-intruder/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Never underestimate the ingenuity of beer drinkers. Last week, an old man in a North Dakota apartment complex rigged up a home alarm system made of empty beer cans, and it actually worked!

Police were initially summoned to the building after a report at 1:24 a.m. of two elderly naked men attacking each other. They weren't naked, although the tenant was in his underwear, having been awoken when an intruder stumbled into his place and tripped his homemade alarm.

"The renter of the apartment had set up a stepstool with empty beer cans on it and set that in front of the door so that if anybody were to open the door it would knock all the beer cans off and that would wake him up, which it did, so I guess it worked," said Sgt. Bill Ahlfeldt of the Fargo Police Department.

"He called it his burglar alarm," Ahlfeldt said. "He said he doesn't really lock his doors, so he does that instead."

The renter got out of bed and turned on the light to find Daniel Gable, 61, who lives one floor below, hiding in a closet. A fight between the two men ensued and Gable was sent to jail on suspicion of robbery, although police said it was possible that his drunken state led him to believe he had entered his own apartment.

Either way, we think this simple beer can-based security system could give ADT a run for its money. What burglar in the world would dare attempt to break into a place with a sign outside reading, "This apartment protected by PBR."

 

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]]>alarmbeernorth dakotaNorthDakotaNick Prueher2010-01-04T09:00:00+00:00Designer Creates 'Star Wars' Paper Modelshttp://www.asylum.com/2009/12/31/designer-shunichi-makino-creates-star-wars-paper-models/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/31/designer-shunichi-makino-creates-star-wars-paper-models/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/31/designer-shunichi-makino-creates-star-wars-paper-models/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

We've seen a lot of great "Star Wars" handiwork this year: a nativity scene featuring R2-D2, a Millennium Falcon bed, even a storm trooper riding a chipmunk.

But that still didn't prepare us for the sheer technical achievement of a new series of "Star Wars" paper models by Japanese designer Shunichi Makino.

These handmade marvels include a TIE Fighter, the Millennium Falcon, R2-D2, an AT-AT with moving legs and a giant Imperial Star Destroyer.

"The models were difficult to design but they're great fun to make," Makino said. He's published the templates on his Web site so you can print, cut, fold and glue them yourself.

And honestly, if a hand-folded Imperial Star Destroyer paper model doesn't get you laid, nothing will.

 

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]]>japanmillennium falconMillenniumFalconpaper modelPaperModelstar warsStarWarsNick Prueher2009-12-31T11:00:00+00:00Florida Man Calls 911 for Ride to Barhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/12/31/florida-man-gregory-oras-calls-911-for-ride-to-bar/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/31/florida-man-gregory-oras-calls-911-for-ride-to-bar/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/31/florida-man-gregory-oras-calls-911-for-ride-to-bar/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Just when you thought that all the good news stories were over for 2009, in comes this nugget from (where else?) Florida, where a drunk man called 911 to get a ride to a bar.

Gregory J. Oras, a fine upstanding gentleman from Oldsmar, Fla., made a total of three 911 calls after leaving a bar at 1 a.m. on Tuesday, claiming people had broken his nose and were shooting at him. When police arrived, they found that he wasn't injured and really just wanted a ride to Hennessy's, another bar in the area.

But wait, it gets better. After police arrested Oras and tried to get him in the back seat of the patrol car, he kicked a deputy in the knees, forcing cops to bring out the taser.

But wait, it gets even better. When police finally subdued Oras and booked him into Pinellas County Jail, they noticed that the suspect's facial tattoos were actually the most normal ones on his body. Others included a naked woman and a pumpkin head on his chest and stomach, a Batman symbol with breasts on his arm, a crucified squirrel with a two-headed baby on his other arm and the word cannibalism spelled out on his fingers.

Thank you, Gregory J. Oras, and thank you Florida for making 2009 a memorable year in Weird News.

 

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]]>911barsfloridatasertattooNick Prueher2009-12-31T09:00:00+00:00Marijuana-Stuffed Teddy Bear Found in Toy Storehttp://www.asylum.com/2009/12/30/marijuana-stuffed-teddy-bear-found-in-toy-store/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/30/marijuana-stuffed-teddy-bear-found-in-toy-store/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/30/marijuana-stuffed-teddy-bear-found-in-toy-store/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Just when you thought Teddy Ruxpin had cemented its reputation as the ultimate stoner teddy bear, a 2-foot-tall stuffed animal filled with marijuana shows up by mistake at toy store in California.

Joshua Vecchione, the owner of Toy Town in Ladera Ranch received a package from the U.S. Postal Service on Dec. 22. It was addressed to a man named David Lang in Colorado but listed Toy Town as the return address.

"Some mix-up took place," Vecchione said. "The postmaster should have noticed."

But he opened the box anyway and found a large blue teddy bear that he described as "hard and crinkly." He called the police, who sliced open the bear and found three 10-inch-by-10-inch vacuum-sealed packages of marijuana inside. The case is now under investigation by the narcotics bureau, which is looking for leads.

The stuffed animal has been described as indistinguishable from a normal teddy bear, except for its greater appreciation of jam bands.From the Web:
The Birth of a Female Oompa Loompa
Their skin turns orange with age. (I-Am-Bored)
7 Ways to Find Hidden Money
That don't involve a metal detector. (AskMen)

 

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]]>californiamailmarijuanapotteddy bearTeddyBeartoysNick Prueher2009-12-30T09:00:00+00:00Donkeys Escape From Live Nativity Scenehttp://www.asylum.com/2009/12/29/donkeys-escape-from-live-nativity-scene/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/29/donkeys-escape-from-live-nativity-scene/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/29/donkeys-escape-from-live-nativity-scene/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

For centuries, donkeys have pulled our carts, guided our canyon tours and participated in our charity basketball games. But acting in a live-action nativity scene was the final straw for two donkeys who made a break for it before the big show in Avon, Colo.

Chip Howard, who organizes the annual event at the Eagle River Presbyterian Church, arrived in the afternoon to find that the donkeys had gone missing.

"They weren't there -- it freaked me out," he said. "I was so afraid and nervous that the worst could have happened."

He called 911 and started following the tracks in the snow, eventually tracking down the animals miles away near some railroad tracks. With the help of local police, Howard was able to walk them back to the church in time for the nativity show, which he called one of the best he's ever seen.

It is still unclear how the donkeys escaped from the pen on the church grounds, but perhaps like the actual donkeys at the nativity, they cared less about the whole birth-of-Christ thing and more about eating some hay.

 

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]]>christmascoloradodonkeynativityNick Prueher2009-12-29T11:00:00+00:00Monkey, Robot Heading to Marshttp://www.asylum.com/2009/12/23/russian-space-monkey-and-robot-heading-to-mars/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/23/russian-space-monkey-and-robot-heading-to-mars/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/23/russian-space-monkey-and-robot-heading-to-mars/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Russians last put a primate into orbit in 1997. That's eons ago to any discerning fan of space monkeys.

Well, rejoice, Gleek-lovers: The gigantic nation's Cosmonautics Academy is working on a plan to send a macaque all the way to Mars. Even more amazing? A robot will be riding shotgun!

Russian scientist Zurab Mikvabia said that the country's original strategy called for human astronauts. "But given the length of the flight to Mars and given the cosmic rays for which we don't have adequate protection over such a long trip," he noted, "discussions have focused recently on sending an ape instead of a person."

Under the current plan, the robot will be the primate's only companion on the long, lonely journey to the Red Planet. "The robot will feed the monkey, will clean up after it," said Mikvabia. "Our task will be to teach the monkey to co-operate with the robot."

Fat chance. Everybody knows that robots are a monkey's sworn enemy.

 

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]]>astronautscosmonautsmarsmonkeymonkeysrobotrobotsrussiaspaceNick Prueher2009-12-23T11:00:00+00:00Woman Flashing Breasts to Cars Hit by Distracted Motoristhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/12/22/woman-flashing-breasts-to-cars-hit-by-distracted-motorist/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/22/woman-flashing-breasts-to-cars-hit-by-distracted-motorist/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/22/woman-flashing-breasts-to-cars-hit-by-distracted-motorist/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

Usually guys love when a girl shows some skin, but not when it leads to car accidents. Take the case of Cherelle Dudfield, an 18-year-old New Zealander who'd had too much to drink: She was hit by a car after distracting the driver with a flash of her breasts.

The incident took place on Main Street in the small town of Invercargill, where, after a night of boozing, Dudfield decided to take her drinking buddies up on a dare.

"I stood on the center line, flashed a couple of cars, got back in and they told me to do it again, so I did," said Dudfield, in an on-camera interview with the New Zealand television station Channel 3. "And then I saw a car coming towards me, on the middle of the center lane driving up towards me. So I decided to run. And then I got hit."She was rushed to the hospital and suffered minor cuts and bruises -- not that the cops had any sympathy. "This was obviously an alcohol-involved offense," said Sgt. Olaf Jensen. "This girl put herself at risk with the actions that she undertook -- not only herself, but the motorists on the road at the time."

Sgt. Jensen might be happy to know that Dudfield promises never to flash on the highway again. "Don't be me," she said. "Don't be stupid. Don't get drunk and stand in the middle of the road and flash anyone. Because it hurts when you get hit."

We would offer the slightly revised advice: Flash as many cars as you like. Just don't stand in the road while doing it.

 

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]]>alcoholCherelle DudfieldCherelleDudfielddrinkingflashingNew ZealandNewZealandNick Prueher2009-12-22T11:00:00+00:00Animatronic Dinosaur Stolen In Mexicohttp://www.asylum.com/2009/12/09/animatronic-dinosaur-stolen-in-mexico/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/09/animatronic-dinosaur-stolen-in-mexico/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/09/animatronic-dinosaur-stolen-in-mexico/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

Did mankind learn nothing from "Jurassic Park" 1, 2 and 3? Putting dinosaurs into entertainment attractions is a recipe for disaster.

It's no surprise, then, that the producers of the "Walking With Dinosaurs" show let one of their precious robotic dinosaurs get away in Mexico.

The remote-controlled dino, valued at almost $100,000, simply disappeared after the opening-night show in Guadalajara. It marks the first dinosaur theft in the history of the show, which has toured around the world and been seen by 4 million people.

"Only in Mexico!" said Karla Arroyo, a spokesperson for the show, "How it happened, we don't know. We don't even know if whoever stole it knows its value."

Although robbery is assumed, we're not ruling out the possibility that the robot left to go solo and finally write that one-raptor show about growing up in an eccentric ethnic dinosaur family.

 

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]]>dinosaurjurassic parkJurassicParkmexicorobotNick Prueher2009-12-09T17:30:00+00:00Man Races for Fastest Lawnmower Record at 100 MPHhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/12/03/man-takes-fastest-lawnmower-record-for-100-mph-test-drive/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/03/man-takes-fastest-lawnmower-record-for-100-mph-test-drive/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/03/man-takes-fastest-lawnmower-record-for-100-mph-test-drive/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

A race-car driver in England has souped up a lawnmower in the hopes of breaking a world speed record for a grass-cutting device.

Don Wales, who already holds the land-speed record for a steam-powered vehicle, is aiming to best the current lawnmower speed record of 80 mph set by a guy named Bob Cleveland in 2006. And with test runs topping 100 mph, he may beat Bob Cleveland's lawnmower speed record but he'll never beat him in the category of Best Name.

"It is a really exciting project, and I am delighted to be a part of it," Wales said. "How often do you get to drive a lawnmower at more than 100 miles per hour?"

As part of the rules, the device must be able to actually mow grass. The official Guinness Book of World Records attempt will take place in February in England.

In the meantime, if you want to approximate the experience, try watching "The Straight Story" in fast-forward.

 

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]]>englandfastestguinness book of world recordsGuinnessBookOfWorldRecordslawnmowerspeedworld recordWorldRecordNick Prueher2009-12-03T09:00:00+00:00University Seeks Lap Dance Researcherhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/12/01/university-seeks-lap-dance-researcher/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/01/university-seeks-lap-dance-researcher/http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/01/university-seeks-lap-dance-researcher/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

Finally, some good news about the job market. Leeds University in England is currently advertising an opening for a female sex-industry researcher.

The School of Sociology and Social Policy is seeking a candidate with prior experience who can study "the rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labor and consumption in the nighttime economy." Responsibilities will include examining the commercialization of the female body and interviewing 300 erotic dancers in England.

In other news, Playboy is looking for new photographers, the FBI is currently enlisting new Female Body Inspectors and the entire staff at Asylum just requested a sabbatical to "explore other career opportunities in the United Kingdom."
From the Web:
Ode to Rockzo
The greatest cartoon clown since Krusty. (Adult Swim)
5 Things You Didn't Know About Roald Dahl
That dirty old man. (AskMen)

 

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]]>englanderoticjobslap dancelap dancerLapDanceLapDancerstripperstrippersNick Prueher2009-12-01T17:30:00+00:00Scottish Brewery Unveils World's Strongest Beerhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/11/30/scottish-tactical-nuclear-penguin-worlds-strongest-beer/http://www.asylum.com/2009/11/30/scottish-tactical-nuclear-penguin-worlds-strongest-beer/http://www.asylum.com/2009/11/30/scottish-tactical-nuclear-penguin-worlds-strongest-beer/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

In a story that has livers everywhere trembling, the BrewDog Brewery in Aberdeenshire, Scotland, has released a new beer they claim is the world's strongest, packing a wallop at 32 percent alcohol by volume.

Tactical Nuclear Penguin, as the beer is called, was aged for a year-and-a-half in whiskey casks and stored at -4 degrees Fahrenheit for three weeks to boost the alcohol content. Only 500 bottles were made, available for $50 a pop.

BrewDog stirred controversy earlier this year when it released an 18.2 percent beer called Tokyo, which was called "irresponsible" and reportedly banned. The brewers responded by releasing a 1.1 percent brew called "Nanny State."

"Beer has a terrible reputation in Britain," said James Watt, the managing director of BrewDog. "It's ignorant to assume that a beer can't be enjoyed responsibly like a nice dram or a glass of fine wine."

So remember, this holiday season, enjoy Tactical Nuclear Penguin responsibly. Meantime, get warmed up with this video from the brewmeisters themselves:

Tactical Nuclear Penguin from BrewDog on Vimeo.

 

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]]>alcoholbeerbrewdogbrewerydrinkingscotlandtactical nuclear penguinTacticalNuclearPenguinNick Prueher2009-11-30T09:00:00+00:00Swedish Loud-Sex Couple Saved From Evictionhttp://www.asylum.com/2009/11/25/loud-sex-couple-saved-from-eviction/http://www.asylum.com/2009/11/25/loud-sex-couple-saved-from-eviction/http://www.asylum.com/2009/11/25/loud-sex-couple-saved-from-eviction/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,

In what is being called a landmark case for screamers and partners of screamers everywhere, a young couple whose loud sex noises drew complaints from neighbors has won the right to stay in their apartment in Stockholm, Sweden.

Bjorn Forsberg, 28, and Michelle Larsson, 26, drew the fire of nearby residents for their frequent and deafening lovemaking sessions, which caused neighbors to call for their eviction.

"Their screams of passion were so loud I could hear them three floors away," said one neighbor. "I don't think they were playing cards."

But a tribunal board ruled that there was no evidence that the noises were coming from Forsberg's and Larsson's apartment, and it was unclear exactly what was going on behind closed doors.

That's great news for the young couple and terrible news for the neighbors, who will continue to be reminded of how empty and boring their own sex lives are.

 

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]]>noisescreamsexswedenNick Prueher2009-11-25T09:00:00+00:00