Asylum

Chastity Belts for Men Solve Those Pesky Jealousy Issues

Ryan McKee — 2011-01-11T11:30:00+00:00

While women gained the right to vote in the United States over 80 years ago, men continue earn more in the workplace and hold more leadership positions than their female counterparts. However, there is one industry where it's much better to be a woman than a man: the sex toy business.

Chastity Belt for Men is proof.

Proudly displayed at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, these devices do exactly what their name promises. They lock up a man's junk in medical-grade polycarbonate plastic. Only the person who holds the key gets to ride the disco stick.

We know what you're thinking: What happens when wearers have to urinate? Don't worry! Chastity Belt for Men has that covered. There's a hole at the end so liquid can be dispensed, but the rest of the shaft and tip are completely covered. Not only will wearers not be able to cheat on their partners, but they're even going to have trouble pleasuring themselves.This must be some gag gift, right? No man in his right mind would lock up his family jewels and give someone else the key. Well, these chastity belts price around $150, so that would be an expensive joke.

The company's website appears to be completely serious. They market it as "the perfect solution" for women concerned with how much her man masturbates, curing infidelity and adding spice back into a marriage.

According to their homepage, "He will worship the ground you walk on. Men love power, and knowing you have exchanged this power will bring him to his knees."

But don't just take Chastity Belt for Men's word for it. Their site includes testimonials from happy customers. A man from Michigan claims: "It is secure, comfortable, restrictive, and airport safe. I don't even know it's there." We wonder if he was body scanned before writing that?

Another man from Florida writes: "Now my wife lets me go to Vegas with a smile and the security of knowing that she is my key holder. This product is much more effective than the marriage counseling." Of course, marriage counselors don't come in camouflage, wood grain and chrome models.

Well, if you really can't seem to stay faithful, buying one of these may just be the thing that gets your wife to stay. Just make sure she doesn't lose the key. Calling a locksmith in that situation will cost you a lot more in pride alone than a divorce.

Head to Chastity Belt for Men for an animated demo of how they work.

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Our Favorite Items of Clothing (That She Wants to Burn)

Ryan McKee — 2010-12-16T13:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, Dating/Love, How-to, Style

Guys may appear shallow as we guzzle beer at a wet T-shirt contest, but the truth is we have depths that ladies cannot comprehend.

Case in point: Men develop relationships with our shoes, jeans, hats, sunglasses and decades-old T-shirts covered in holes and sweat stains.

Women have the ability to wear something for a season and then toss it. Men, though, link clothing with memories. They remind us of good times, like seeing an old friend. Think of it like this, ladies: If your old college roommate started to get raggedy, would you throw her away? Of course not, and we refuse to burn that item you hate for the same reason.

The Flesh-Eating Monkeys were my favorite local ska band in 1998. I went to all their shows and bought one of the few band T-shirts they ever made (pictured above). It is thin, a yellow color that matches nothing and hangs on me like a tent. My girlfriend looks ill every time she sees it, but I've traveled to Europe in it, run 10Ks in it and "skanked" alongside the cutest '90s ska girls in Arizona in it. I'll never get rid of it.

Believing many others have similar stories, we put out a call to our bloggers and friends. The response was overwhelming. Guys couldn't wait to prove their women wrong, believing the Internet could redeem the item she loathes. Below are some of our favorites."Starfox 64" Leather Jacket
Proud Owner: Chip Carter
Why It's Awesome: Way back in 1997, Carter won this jacket at video game expo, E3. He had to beat a bunch of other writers and the famous Nintendo designer Shigeru Miyamoto at the then-new game "Starfox 64." Nearly 14 years later, Carter still wears it with pride.
Her Problem With It: His girlfriend thinks he looks cool in a black leather jacket, but thinks the logo looks "undignified."
Why It Stays: If the logo weren't on the breast, how would people know it's a prize for winning "Starfox 64"? She is obviously just jealous of his success.

Mandals
Proud Owner: Ron Babcock
Why They're Awesome: During a trip around the world in 1997, Babcock bought these leather sandals in India because he has a God complex. Not only are they extremely comfortable and "don't make that slapping sound most sandals make against your heel," he literally walked across much of the earth in them.
Her Problem With Them: His girlfriend thinks they're ugly, don't match anything and are falling apart.
Why They Stay: They have outlasted every girl he's dated over the last 11 years, even though they all offered to buy a new pair to replace them.

"Captain" Cap
Proud Owner: Mike Hollingsworth
Why It's Awesome: Hollingsworth calls this his captain cap. We think he may need to revisit photos of naval headwear. Still, it does have a certain look no one can quite place. It's a little bit Civil War era, little bit '60s England and a little bit Skipper on "Gilligan's Island."
Her Problem With It: Upon seeing it, his wife immediately said, "I don't wanna be your 'Little Buddy.'" She continues to give the cap dirty looks.
Why It Stays: It reminds Hollingsworth of one of the funniest comments his wife ever made about an article of clothing.

Original Nike Air Jordans
Proud Owner: Eric Fawcett
Why They're Awesome: Not only is the man who inspired them a legend, but the shoes themselves are a legend. They cost over $100 in the mid-'80s. It took a summer's worth of a minimum wage job or significant amounts of begging your parents to get these babies back in the day.
Her Problem With It: His girlfriend thinks they smell and make him look poor.
Why They Stay: These shoes remind Fawcett of everything awesome he's ever done in sports. They make him feel like Mike (not '80s Michael Jordan, but today's Michael Jordan, which is still pretty great).

Ryan McKee is an Asylum contributor and resident genius.

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Our Bloggers Get Much-Needed Fashion Advice

Ryan McKee — 2010-11-22T13:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, How-to, Style, Asylum Exclusive

There is no lack of fashion advice for men these days -- entire blogs, magazines, TV shows and careers are built around telling us what to wear.

Unfortunately, one group has been sorely overlooked: male bloggers. Most of us work from home, meaning we spend more time out of pants than in them. We also work for the Internet, which means we know a lot about video game releases and the latest 4chan memes, but not much about how to be fashionable.

To answer this problem, we sent our photos to celebrity stylist / costume designer Johanna Argan. She runs the Fashion Jargan blog, has been a personal stylist for Kevin Spacey and Heather Graham and designed costumes for "Killers," "Fanboys" and "21." Argan broke us down and gave advice that any guy can use.Ryan McKee

My Style: "John Hodgman meets indie rock."
Expert Take: "Prep-ster: a mix of preppy and hipster"

My Inspiration: "I don't get this dressy every day. I like nerd couture, corduroy and suit jackets, but mix it with rock band T-shirts and sneakers."
Expert Opinion: "You look like an extra from 'The Royal Tenenbaums.'"

My Stores: "Most of my T-shirts are bought when I'm drunk at concerts. I hate shopping, but when I'm forced to, I like H&M and Uniqlo."
Expert Shopping Advice: "Good brands for this look are John Varvatos or Esquivel's"

Expert Breakdown: "This is what happens when you can't leave your prep-school, suburban Greenwich, Connecticut, upbringing behind and you move to Brooklyn. I don't hate this look. It works for you. But I think you should rethink the shoes. Maybe some Sperrys or Brogues."

Danny Gallagher

His Style: "T-shirt and jeans guy"
Expert Take: "The Gamer"

His Inspiration: "Whatever happens to be cleanest that day."
Expert Opinion: "Clearly his fashion inspiration is Jonah Hill. Not a good start."

His Stores: "Anywhere from Target to Champs. Dillard's if I need something 'fancy schmancy.'"
Expert Shopping Advice: "Walk yourself over to the Gap now."

Expert Breakdown: "[Danny] seems to be hiding in baggy, oversized, hideous clothes. Wear layers instead. Big clothes make you look bigger, not slimmer. He can have style and comfort, they are not mutually exclusive."
Mishka Shubaly

His Style: "The path of least resistance"
Expert Take: "Cafe de Artiste / Downtown Guy"

His Inspiration: "I will probably be buried in a band T-shirt and jeans."
Expert Opinion: "This guy wears 'I'm an artist' on his sleeve and hangs out at a mom and pop cafe during the day."

His Stores: "I own one Salvation Army suit that I wear when one of my friends is foolish enough to get married or I have to go to court. The T-shirts are bought at shows or thrift stores. The jeans usually come from a girlfriend who says, 'When is the last time you washed your jeans?'"
Expert Shopping Advice: "A vintage or Army-Navy store could help out the shoe situation."

Expert Breakdown: "The picture reads struggling musician, but this look goes for all 'artists.' I would get rid of the awful sneakers and those jeans. Get rugged boots and jeans that are more broken in. They look stiff enough to stand up on their own."

Ron Babcock

His Style: "Clean jeans and a nice T-shirt are my soup du jour."
Expert Take: "Aging Frat Boy"

His Inspiration: "I like to keep things pretty simple. As long as 'my thing' isn't hanging out, I consider it a fashion win."
Expert Opinion: "Baseball hats are for running errands and playing baseball, not as an everyday accessory."

His Stores: "Everyone in 'fashionable' or vintage stores looks like they're playing a game titled 'No, I'm Wearing the Most Interesting Thing!' I don't shop much, but when I do, it is at a thrift store or a small independent shop."
Expert Shopping Advice: "Try Gap, J.Crew and L.L. Bean."

Expert Breakdown: "Let's start with the red-purple sneakers. This just screams 'I don't know what I'm doing!' If you are going for a casual, athletic look, wear a sneaker color that can go with everything. The jeans look like they haven't been washed ever. I favor darker washes to this, and you shouldn't ever cuff your jeans with sneakers, especially like this. Lose it. Bottom line: Change the sneakers, jeans and hat, and then maybe the shirt will work."

Ryan Simmons

His Style: "Gap meets Gap"
Expert Take: "Grab Whatever and Wear It Guy"

His Inspiration: "Only being a year or so out of college, I'm trying to build a better wardrobe, but Gap seems to be all I can afford."
Expert Opinion: "If this is what he wears to get dressed up, I would hate to see what he wears every day to work."

His Stores: "Gap."
Expert Shopping Advice: "Hit the Banana Republic. It will cover your basics, head to toe. Ask one of the nice salespeople to help you."

Expert Breakdown: "Nothing about this goes together or works. My suggestion is to burn it all. Invest in better fitting flat front pants, a crisp white shirt and tie that is subtle in color and pattern. Unless the occasion calls for a pink tie, which is almost never. Avoid it at all costs."

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The 10 Best Apps for Functional Alcoholics

Ryan McKee — 2010-11-16T13:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Gear, Booze, Weird Science

Being a functional alcoholic used to be looked upon with admiration. Men aspired to have three-martini lunches and still knock their presentations out of the park during afternoon meetings. Drinking wasn't a weakness -- not being able to hold your whiskey was the weakness.

Functional alcoholism is a bad phrase today. The public is hyper-aware of its symptoms, so it's harder than ever to be a hard-drinking, hard-working Don Draper type. Luckily, technology is on your side.

Asylum does not recommend any kind of alcoholism. However, we're also not here to throw rocks, since many of us live in glass houses. We're here to report the information out there -- helping you stay safe, happy and totally awesome in any lifestyle. So without further ado, here are the cell phone apps any functional alcoholic should own.Taxi App (free)
The worst decision you can make while drunk is not choosing to eat convenience store corndogs or buying a prostitute. It's deciding to drive. That is a clear sign you're not functional. This app will call a taxi in any location (which is especially helpful if you wake up in a different city).

Snooth Wine Pro ($4.99)
You are not an alcoholic -- you're a wine enthusiast. At least that's what you say when friends question you. This app keeps up the facade. All you need to do is take photos of labels you drink, and you'll have a catalog of wine knowledge. You can forget everything. It will tell you all about the wine and where else to buy it in the area.

Mixology: Drink Recipes (free)
The liquor stores are closed. You invited a lady barfly back to your place for a nightcap. But you just realized all you have is pineapple juice, whiskey and peach schnapps. Pull up this app and become a booze-MacGyver. With thousands of recipes, there has to be something you can make.

VoCal Voice Reminder App With Calendar ($3.99)
Breaking promises and missing appointments are sure signs of a problem drinker. An intoxicated person can make a lot of plans while in the moment. Get this app and record each promise you make. The calendar will remind you of the dates.

Bad Decision Blocker ($0.99)
Drunk-dialing, drunk-texting and drunk-emailing are the biggest problems for drinkers with smart phones. This ingenious app makes selected contact info unavailable during the hours you're usually drunk. Never call your ex-girlfriend at 4 a.m. again.

FastFood (free)
Eating a triple-cheeseburger at 3 a.m. may not be the healthiest thing, but it sure helps soak up the alcohol. This app locates the closest places serving food at any hour and even gives directions to them.

iDrinkSmart Alcohol Calculator ($0.99)
The problem with doing any activity a lot is you get complacent. You start underestimating your intoxication level. You think you're sober enough to meet your girlfriend's parents. Don't let that happen. This app estimates your blood-alcohol level based on your weight, number of drinks and food consumed.

Darkroom (free)
You scored a girl's phone number last night -- but you don't remember what she looked like. This app allows you to take photos in low-light situations, like a bar. Click her photo to see if she's still cute when you're sober.

Happy Hour ($1.99)
Need a cheap drink, right now? This app finds every bar in your area serving happy hour prices over the next few hours.

Mobile Spy ($99.97 annually)
Losing smart phones can become an expensive habit for drinkers. Phone insurance is a hassle and built-in trackers can be turned off by whoever finds it. This app offers stealth GPS tracking, allowing you to view text messages and call logs. You'll find your phone and deliver justice to the guy who grabbed it.

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Mike Polk Has the Worst TV Reel Ever

Ryan McKee — 2010-11-09T15:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, Video, Vid of the Moment

Mike Polk has the career other YouTubers dream about. He's made the jump from computer screen to television!

Polk's viral fame has led to interesting milestones. "One Semester of Spanish -- Love Song" and its 6 million views caught Telemundo's eye, and the station booked Polk to serenade Kim Kardashian on-air. Michael Moore liked Polk's "Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Videos" so much he included one in his documentary "Capitalism: A Love Story."

In "Mike Polk Has the Worst TV Reel Ever," the YouTube star collects his odd television appearances, including a spot singing to Steve Guttenberg on "The Carolina Rhea Show" and kissing two different dudes on two different shows.

Keep reading to see "The Worst," aka "The Funniest," TV reel ever.

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4 Simple Steps to Become a Japanese Pop Star

Ryan McKee — 2010-10-15T13:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Entertainment, How-to, Video, Music, Asylum Exclusive, Travel

If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere. Fair enough, but what if you don't make it in New York? And you're tired of living in the City That Never Sleeps?

Consider moving to Tokyo, like Joshua Brown. After a decade in the Big Apple, this singer/songwriter/model (Perez Hilton featured JAB's music video "Modoranai") felt his career wasn't moving forward. So, he applied for a Japanese student visa and moved to Tokyo.

While JAB (Brown's performance name) may not be a full-fledged pop star yet, he has representation, he's been on television (yes, we have video) and gets a number of modeling jobs, which is more than he could say for his time in the United States.

So, maybe the Land of the Rising Sun is also a pretty good place for rising stars? Just in case you feel like giving Japanese superstardom a go, here's are some simple steps that worked for Brown.
Step One: Don't Learn Japanese
Brown had taken Japanese in high school solely because he thought it was "the weirdest thing" a teenager in Detroit could do. "Oddly enough, people in Japan don't seem to care that I sing in Japanese. They'd rather hear me sing in English," he says. When JAB performed in an "American Idol"-esque show in Japan, the "Simon" judge told him not to bother singing in their native tongue, because he'll never get the accent.

"I thought I'd be famous within a week of stepping off the plane. That didn't happen," Brown says. "Music here is pretty formulaic. People like young boy bands who always do a little dance and sing poppy songs with random, meaningless English words thrown in." Even haphazard English words are better than none.

Step Two: Get a Day Job
As his singing career continues to build, Brown pays the bills with fashion modeling. Unfortunately, it's not as glamorous as it sounds -- and it's not because of the uncomfortable shoes.

"My agency sent me out to work a jewelry store event," he says. "They wanted some man-candy to just chat with the ladies and pose for photos. These middle-aged Japanese women came in and said, 'Oh my, we've never met a white person!' This one lady must have been 85 years old and she wanted to take a photo with me. I start to pose with her, and she grabbed my ass."

Step Three: Don't Fear the Weird
We've all seen the odd clips of Japanese game shows on YouTube. The bizarreness carries over into other areas of their pop culture, as well.

"The weirdest gig I've seen was my friend, he's another foreigner like me, got this TV commercial," Brown says. "He had to walk backward up a ramp, with a live monkey on his shoulder and pretend to be tying a balloon animal -- all while wearing clown makeup. But he got paid well."

Step Four: Get Cozy With Yakuza
Word on the street is the Yakuza, the Japanese organized crime syndicate, controls what music acts become popular each year. They decide who gets record deals and what songs are played the most on television and radio.

"At first I just rolled my eyes when I heard that rumor," Brown says. "However, you hear it so much, you have to wonder if there's any truth to it. I know the Yakuza are still influential in other areas of Japanese business, at least."

So, if you go there, be prepared to brandish some steel for a music deal. It sounds crazy, but remember, this is the land of Seppuku. They don't mess around.

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World's Most Contagious Laugh Can't Save Doomed Chuckle Party

Ryan McKee — 2010-09-29T15:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, Entertainment, Health, Video, Weird Stuff

Inspired by personal struggles, Albert Nerenberg is making the documentary "Laughology," a chronicle of his research into Laughter Yoga, Laughter Parties and the health benefits of laughter. Part of this effort took place last weekend when Nerenberg organized "The Great Union Square Laugh-In" in New York City. Since I'm on anti-depressants and have a history of disease in my family, I headed down to Union Square to feel the healing effects of collective laughter.

Before attending the event, I read up and learned that Nerenberg is a laughologist and invented "Laughercize" -- the practice of laughter as exercise."There's some evidence laughter is a natural anti-depressant and a hedge against heart disease. But it has to be done regularly," says Nerenberg. "That's why the Laughter Movement is such an important breakthrough."

The Laugh-In's press release stated, "At 4:15 p.m. on Saturday, Union Square will burst into laughter." However, it took me until 4:30 to find the group since it consisted of about a dozen people. Most park-goers were only interested in the farmer's market and a mobile DJ booth pumping out very loud techno.

Keep reading to see video of the event, and learn why even the man's with the World's Most Contagious Laughter couldn't save the chuckle shindig ...

The gathered practiced Nerenberg's Laughercize techniques, which included all of us pretending to be monkeys, giving each other imaginary flowers, clapping, dancing, rolling on the ground, etc. -- all while forcing ourselves to laugh. Believe me, I really did have to force it. As my Asylum work attests, I have very little shame, but miming King Kong in a public park made me feel more stupid than funny.

The event's secret weapon was the man with the most contagious laugh in the world, Doug Collins. An elderly man from Tennessee, Collins became a YouTube phenomenon after being brought onstage at a local comedy club and simply laughing into the microphone. His silly chuckle is so unique you can't help cracking up yourself.

Unfortunately, none of the event organizers brought a microphone and PA or even a bullhorn. The loud techno music from the park's daytime dance party drowned out Collins' contagious chortle. To get the effects, I had to stand right next to him, which became tough when we started stretching for Laughter Yoga.

"Oh, I have a good time about anywhere," says Collins when I asked him if he was having fun. He giggled, adding, "These people are funny."

At that moment, I realized Collins had been watching the activities more than actually participating. I took his cue and became a spectator instead. Within moments I was laughing at the Laughercizers. I'm sure that wasn't Nerenberg's intent, but I did feel much better.

Ryan McKee is an Asylum contributor and engages moderately in laughter.

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Will It Kill You? Snus Edition

Ryan McKee — 2010-09-17T11:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Health, Weird Science

Thanks to humans' innate fascination with mortality, and the Internet's information democracy, fear-based news is incredibly popular. "Will It Kill You?" sorts through the data glut and finds what will actually have you knocking on heaven's door and what isn't as dangerous as it seems.

Snus is a moist, powdered tobacco that comes in little bags and is placed under a user's lip for long periods. While the English word "snuff" is literally translated as "snus" in Swedish, its production and use is much different from American snuff, like Copenhagen.

First, snus users do not typically spit, so it doesn't kill your social life. Second, while chewing tobacco is proven to provoke oral and throat cancer and cardiovascular risks, there is almost no proof that Nordic snus does so.

The Argument
Snus originated in Sweden during the 19th century and has become ingrained in the native culture. In fact, fearing blond backlash, the European Union exempted Sweden and its Scandinavian sister Norway from its ban on snus, which it enacted in 1992 in response to a 1985 World Health Organization study that concluded all oral-tobacco types used in North America and Western Europe promote cancer.

However, subsequent studies show the WHO jumped the gun on lumping snus in with other chewing tobaccos and snuff. There is compelling evidence that suggests it is a much safer alternative to smoking. Many European governments are debating revised legalization, and American tobacco companies have jumped on the bandwagon, creating Camel Snus and Marlboro Snus.The Answers
Although it is not a popular sentiment within the medical community, not all tobacco use is cancer-causing. Unlike other forms of tobacco, snus is steam-cured instead of fire-cured. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts Department of Health found this method heavily reduces the carcinogens in snus. (The Swedish product has 2.8 parts per millions compared to American tobacco products, which are as high as 127.9 parts per million.)

Swedish men have the lowest incidence of tobacco-related mortality in Europe. A study conducted at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey found a larger drop in smoking by Swedish males than females over a 26-year period. Around 30 percent of the men who quit smoking do so by using snus. Over the same time period, rates of tobacco-related cancer dropped significantly faster among Swedish men than women. Although snus is high in nicotine and is habit-forming, the study concluded it is much safer than smoking or chewing tobacco.

The WHO acknowledges that Sweden has the lowest rates of smoking and lung cancer among European men, but refuses to admit that substituting snus for cigarettes is smart. They claim the effects are still undetermined.

But Will It Kill You?
American companies use different methods to produce snus than Swedish producers. There is no evidence that American snus is safer or will help a user quit smoking. If you want to try the real stuff, you're best bet is to go online and order some in the mail from a European distributor. As of now, there is NO hard evidence that Swedish or Nordic snus will kill you.

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WTF Genius Marc Maron Explains the Method to His Madness

Ryan McKee — 2010-09-01T13:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, Video, Weird, Asylum Exclusive

The Internet term "WTF" has recently become a ubiquitous acronym, but comedian/podcaster Marc Maron has been using it as a daily mantra for the last 20 years.

Maron has a long list of credits, including 44 appearances on "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" -- more than any other comic. Last year, he began producing the podcast "WTF With Marc Maron." It's now amongst the most downloaded podcasts on the Web.

A dark and agile mind like Maron's would intimidate most interviewers. Luckily, Asylum's resident genius, Ryan McKee, was available to wrangle this interview.

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Will It Kill You? Aspartame Edition

Ryan McKee — 2010-08-19T15:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Health, Weird Science

Thanks to humans' innate fascination with mortality and the Internet's information democracy, fear-based news is incredibly popular. "Will It Kill You?" sorts through the data glut and finds what will actually have you knocking on heaven's door and what isn't as dangerous as it seems.

Aspartame, the artificial sweetener in everything from Diet Coke to low-fat yogurt, has garnered negative press since the FDA approved its use in 1974. Various sources claim it causes cancer, brain tumors, multiple sclerosis, seizures, etc.

The Argument
Critics feel certain the FDA is in the pockets of Diet Coke and NutraSweet. As evidence, they point to aspartame's initial approval over 35 years ago. The sweetener's inventors, the Searle Company, reportedly spent millions testing it and covered up negative results. Some studies suggested it caused seizures in infant monkey and brain tumors in rats.

In 1998, a popular email chain started by a "Nancy Markle" linked aspartame to Alzheimer's, birth defects, brain cancer, diabetes, Gulf War syndrome, lupus, multiple sclerosis and seizures. Even though numerous sources proved the letter to be full of inaccuracies, critics still argue many of these claims.The Answers
Critics' claims have been disproved by numerous sources going back to the Department of Justice, which instituted grand jury proceedings against Searle for fraud in one of its drug studies. In 1975, FDA reevaluated all initial findings.

Even if the FDA is corrupt, independent institutions like the National Cancer Institute, MIT, the Joint FAO/WHO Expert Committee on Food Additives, the European Commission's Scientific Committee on Food and over 90 countries worldwide have tested and approved aspartame's safety. There is no hard evidence that it causes any health problems in humans.

However, don't replace your water intake with diet soda just yet.

Internationally, food safety authorities set acceptable daily intake of aspartame at 40 mg per kilogram of body weight, and the FDA has it at 50 mg/kg. There are 180 mg of aspartame in a 12-ounce can of diet soda. That means if you weigh 165 pounds, you can safely drink 20 cans per day.

Common sense will tell you that's excessive, and so will the National Cancer Institute. They cite a study where scientists found an increase of lymphoma/leukemia in female rats when fed the human equivalent of about eight cans of diet soda a day. Under that amount, the rats were fine.

But Will It Kill You?
Aspartame may not be the healthiest sweetener (Stevia seems better), but it won't kill you. To be safe, though, keep it under eight cans a day. And honestly, if you need to drink more than that a day, you've got bigger problems than aspartame.

Aspartame will NOT kill you.

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Stand-Up Comedian Tells Jokes in Traffic for 50 Cents Apiece

Ryan McKee — 2010-08-12T12:00:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, Weird News, Asylum Exclusive

Bernie Mac learned the fearless stage persona that made him famous while slinging jokes on the streets and subways of Chicago for spare change. Don Hepner is taking a similar path -- an off-ramp in Iowa.

For 50 cents, the "Gong Show" veteran will yell a joke into your car window as you sit at a stoplight.

"I'm always doing crazy things," Hepner tells us over the phone while standing at his off-ramp. "Tomorrow morning I'm performing in a donut shop."

He admits the highway has been his most successful gig, but he also performs in grocery stores, Chick-Fil-As, coffee shops and bars. McDonald's, however, turned down his offer to perform.

"I read an article about how fast food chains are trying to get customers to stay in their restaurants longer," Hepner says. "So, I approached a McDonald's with the idea, but they didn't go for it. I guess they hadn't read the same article."Hepner began performing during the stand-up boom of the 1980s and spent 13 years on the road. As clubs closed down, he took a job managing a theater in California and focused on his acting career. You may recognize him as Dr. Reynolds in the low-budget slasher film "Final Exam." No?

After being let go from his theater job, Hepner started looking at other options, which weren't plentiful in an area that he says has about "18 stand-up comics" and no comedy clubs. Then he learned that it's legal to panhandle in the city of Bettendorf if you have a panhandler's license, which is free and easy to get.

"I saw these guys at off-ramps hassling people for change -- and they don't even tell them a joke!" he says.

The stoplight stays on red for just 30 seconds, so the only jokes Hepner can tell are one-liners. For example: "My wife calls me her little lava lamp -- interesting to watch but not very bright."

"Normally, when I'm performing I'll do longer material," he says. "I have stories about teaching school and being married four times. But you can't do that here."

The response has been surprising. He has made up to $20 an hour and media outlets as far away as England have run stories on "The Off-Ramp Comic." Still there are haters who love to hate.

"Some people heckle as they drive by," he says. "Usually they're already gone, but I'll yell something back like, 'Oh yeah, well you're driving a Toyota' or 'You're a pulmonata.' Those are snails who mate alone, so it's a clean way of saying, 'Go eff yourself.'"

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Writer Neal Pollack Shows Off His Yoga Skills (While Ignoring Gay Dog Sex)

Ryan McKee — 2010-08-10T15:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, Fitness, Video, Asylum Exclusive

Are you interested in yoga but turned off by the heavy, feminine aura, New Agers and sitar music? Neal Pollack, writer, provocateur and reluctant yoga genius, wants to show you another side of the exotic workout with his new book, "Stretch: The Unlikely Making of a Yoga Dude."

In Asylum's latest episode of "Genius on Genius With Ryan McKee," the author of the bestselling books "The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature" and "Alternadad" invites Asylum's Ryan McKee into his house to talk (dog) sex, drugs and yoga rolls.

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Space Invaders -- Dig Into Scott Wiener's Insane Pizza Collection

Ryan McKee — 2010-07-30T12:30:00+00:00

Filed under: New York, Food, Gear

Scott Wiener, the man who runs Scott's Pizza Tours, is not just an expert on New York slices, but on all things pizza. His obsession with the food grew as he traveled the country, cataloging every bite he tasted in his online Pizza Journal. For fun, he would drive his friends around New York's boroughs in search of new pizzerias.

Finally, one of his buddies suggested he do it for a living. Now he enjoys press from around the world as a sought after pizza expert; he even became a tasting judge at Pizza Today magazine's International Pizza Expo.

In Asylum New York's new video series "Space Invaders," correspondent Ryan McKee crashes Wiener's apartment and learns just how deep his pizza passion runs. The Brooklynite's collection of pizza boxes, accessories, novelties and literature is so impressive, it's damn near pathological.

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10 Reasons to Stay Facebook Friends With Your Ex-Girlfriend

Ryan McKee — 2010-07-26T11:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Dating/Love

When your girlfriend gives you the dreaded "Let's just be friends"-speech, don't overreact. Many guys, in a fit of anger, would proceed to burn every other bridge linking he and his newly minted ex, including deleting her from his list of friends on Facebook.

This course of action is a mistake.

Put on your "Bruce Willis"-face and remember these 10 reasons for keeping up cyber-appearances. Whether or not you take these directives seriously is, of course, entirely up to you ...

1. It Will Help You Get Over Her
Ultimately, she's still human, and when you read some of the dumb things she posts, it'll remind you of the things you hated about her ... like her jokes.

2. It Shows You're Over Her (Even if You Aren't)
Yes, you hate her and still love her, but your friends will only give you a week before you become the weird, sad guy.3. It Makes Spying on Her Easier
Back in the day, a man had to risk a restraining order to learn his ex's every move. Now, she makes it easy with status updates.

4. You'll Know Whom to Avoid
Mutual friends will take sides. Find out who's on her side via wall posts. That's as good a way as any to divide up mutual friends.

5. To Remember Her
Some of us date so much, it's hard to keep track. Especially since no one has a little black book anymore. Even if this isn't true, it's sounds really cool when you say it.

6. It Shows You're a Good Guy
Women don't stay friends with guys who treated them poorly. (They just break up with good guys in order to date them.) When your new girlfriend sees that all your exes haven't blocked you, she'll know you're not a cheater or bad person.

7. It Proves You're an Adult (Even if You Aren't)
Something as petty as deleting someone from Facebook is a gesture an important man wouldn't even waste time worrying about.

8. To Mess With Her New Boyfriends
When she updates her relationship status, he's yours. Make his online life hell.

9. To Make Her Jealous
There is nothing better than making an ex jealous. It's a feeling sweeter than first falling for her. And with your new single lifestyle, you'll have plenty of photos to make her jealous.

10. There Are Better Revenge Tactics
If you delete her, you ruin your chances at a much better revenge in the future when she's not expecting it. If you notice she's celebrating her sister's graduation at a bar on a particular night, show up on a date with the best friend she secretly hates. Every girl has that "frien-emy."

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10 Nauseating Beer Names and the Stories Behind Them

Ryan McKee — 2010-07-14T11:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Humor, Booze, Weird

At Asylum, we appreciate cleverness and irony as much as any other website staffed by geeks. However, if one industry enjoys those things even more than bloggers, it's microbrewers.

What began as peculiar marketing to set themselves apart from the Budweisers and Millers has become an all-out word war. The playful winks towards bawdiness are gone in favor of all-out raunch: poop, pee and other bodily fluids.

We will admit to drinking and loving most of these brews. We'll also admit to laughing at their names. So, we decided to launch an investigation to find out just what inspires all those less-than-appetizing monikers.

10. Moose Drool Brown Ale
Sounds like: the slobber from an elk with Down's syndrome or a fat Canadian dude
Why? Neal Lathers, one of Big Sky Brewing's founders, says, "We knew that we wanted to use Montana critters as our theme."
His partner, Bjorn, had his mom do the label artwork and she decided on a moose in a pond. Neal suggested Moose Drool and it stuck. "If the name does turn some folks off, we're more than willing to lose a few potential customers in order to maintain such a memorable brand," Lathers says. 9. Bandersnatch Milk Stout
Sounds like: a monster got milked or very unpleasant female genitalia
Why? Owner/brewer Joe Bob Grisham named Bandersnatch Pub after a beast in the Lewis Carroll poem "Jabberwocky" ("the frumious Bandersnatch"). Grisham seems not to notice our snickering through e-mail. "That's the type of beer it is, Milk Stout," he replies. "A full-bodied stout with a full malt flavor, a sweet lactose finish and a creamy nitrogen head." Fine, be an adult about it.

8. Porkslap
Sounds like: a sex act between fat people or a dirty joke between butchers
Why? Few names conjure an instant mental image and sound as well as Porkslap. We see and hear hog flesh being smacked each time. Chuck Williamson, owner of Butternuts Beer & Ale, explains, "The name is a play on Park Slope [a neighborhood in Brooklyn]. I was doing some work for the co-owner of Park Slope Brewing, and when I started this venture I was playing around with some names. I already had the pigs as characters for the beer label. The name and vision all came together one long cold night, and now we all have Porkslap to enjoy!"

7. Kilt Lifter
Sounds like: a Scottish frat boy prank -- similar to teabagging. (The name doesn't immediately sound gross, but think about who wears kilts. Not sexy ladies. Pale, ginger men who don't wear underwear.)
Why? Oddly, breweries fight for this name. Moylan's Brewery used the "Kilt Lifter" moniker until it learned that Four Peaks Brewery trademarked the name nationally and Pike Brewing trademarked it in Canada. Owner Brendan Moylan says, "In the spirit of integrity in the beer business and mutual disdain for trademark lawyers, we chose to act within a gentlemanly manner and sell our product with an alias."

6. Old Jock
Sounds like: An undergarment for geriatric testicle support or the bully of a nursing home.
Why? This isn't the first or the last time those Brits have fooled us with their cheeky expressions. According to a Broughton Ales' spokesperson, "For centuries soldiers of the Highland and Lowland Regiments of Scotland have been referred to as 'Jocks,' powerful fighting men who have won battle honors all over the world."

5. Old Engine Oil
Sounds like: a bad reminder of the BP spill
Why? English brewery Harviestoun named its dark beer ages before the BP disaster. Still, engine oil was never going to sound appetizing -- even before we saw pelicans failing to digest it. Harviestoun's Chris Miller says, "Our master brewer, who used to work for the Ford Motor Company, said this beer reminded him of gloopy engine oil. Most find it intriguing; America is our primary market for this product."

4. Salopian Entire Butt
Sounds like: A huge, fat ass, or possibly a juvenile game of one-upmanship: Boy #1 says, "You're a butt hole"; Boy #2 replies, "Oh yeah, well, you're a whole butt."
Why? The cheeky Brits are back with their odd sayings. Salopian's American distributor, Shelton Brothers, writes on its website, "The original English term for porter, 'Entire Butt,' means essentially 'the whole barrel.' This translates roughly into American English as 'everything but the kitchen sink.'" Maybe that means there's even old engine oil in it?

3. Middle Ages' Druid Fluid
Sounds like: a medieval nickname for Chlamydia or a Renaissance Faire orgy gone wrong
Why? Middle Ages Brewing Company wouldn't answer our queries about their barleywine's name. Maybe the truth is too disturbing. TheBeerBabe.com reviewed the beverage and said this: "It's enough to make you pause and think, "What on Earth was that flavor?" The fluid of Druids? Maybe it's not just an attempt at a clever name.

2. Dogfish Head Golden Shower
Sounds like: an R. Kelly-approved sex act
Why? After posing this question to Dogfish Head, we were directed to a statement posted on the brewery's website: "The big breweries are selling a brand name and an image with such zeal that they have forgotten about the product behind all of this horsesh** and hyperbole -- the beer itself. Dogfish Head Golden Shower is the beer itself." Yeah! Fight the man ... except the name has since been changed to "Golden Revolution."

1. Mikkeller Beer Geek Breakfast Pooh Coffee
Sounds like: just what it is -- the oddest thing ever bottled
Why? Each year, Mikkeller Brewery in Denmark brews this beer especially for the Copenhagen Beer Festival. The name changes slightly, but the main ingredient remains, Luwak coffee beans. For non-coffee geeks, this is the most-expensive coffee on earth. The beans are passed through the intestinal tract of a Kopi Luwak weasel -- meaning it eats and poops them out.

Brewer Mikkel Borg Bjergsø says, "I brewed an Oatmeal Stout with coffee and wanted to do a stronger version. Then I tasted the Weasel coffee which, because of its low bitterness, is excellent for brewing. I buy the beans directly from a coffee farmer in Vietnam."

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Booktails -- Our Favorite Alcoholic Beverages From Literature

Ryan McKee — 2010-06-28T11:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Entertainment, Booze, How-to, Highbrow

Sometimes we read things other than the Internet. Especially, when those things (aka books) make us look smart and have cool cocktails in them.

This summer put down your beer and get creative with your boozy, dark passenger. Drunkenly slurring with a Pabst makes you pathetic, but slurring with a gin gimlet makes you genteel.

You'll be the only one at the pool party sipping an Americano and spewing literary fun facts, while your competition chugs beer or attempts creativity with "Mad Men" cocktails. C'mon guys, Moscow Mules and Tom Collinses were so last summer.

1. Tequila Zombie
"Inherent Vice"
In Thomas Pynchon's newest novel, the main character Doc Sportello, a Lebowski-esque private detective, frequents the Belaying Pin restaurant. Known for its devil-ray filet deep-fried in beer batter and house anchovy loaf, the waitress always recommends Tequila Zombies because, "You'll want to be good and f**ked up by the time this [food] arrives."

Keep reading for the recipe and more literary-infused cocktails.Recipe:
In a cocktail shaker add: 2 shots tequila, 1 shot apricot brandy, 1 shot spiced rum, 1 shot vodka.
Shake, then add 2 shots grapefruit juice and 2 shots orange juice.
Shake again and strain over ice in a tall glass.
Drink.
Black out.

2. Americano
"Casino Royale"
While the Vesper martini overshadowed other drinks in the novel and became even more famous in the movie, this was the first cocktail that readers ever heard James Bond order. Originally called the Milano-Torino in Milan, Italy, during the 1860s, it was renamed for its popularity with American tourists during Prohibition.

Recipe:
Fill an old-fashioned glass with ice cubes.
Pour in 1 ounce Campari and 1 ounce sweet vermouth.
Top off with club soda.
Garnish with lemon twist or orange slice.
3. Sazerac
W.E.B. Griffin's "Honor Bound" series
One of the oldest known cocktails, Griffin made it the favorite drink of protagonist Cletus Frade. While the drink's recipe has many variations since its invention in 1830s New Orleans, it commonly includes Cognac, rye whiskey, absinthe and bitters. Now that absinthe is legal in the United States, literature lovers can begin mixing it once again.

Recipe:
Chill an old-fashioned glass by filling it with ice.
In a separate glass, muddle 3/4-ounce simple syrup and bitters together.
Add 3 ounces rye whiskey and stir.
Dump the ice from the old-fashioned glass and swirl a small amount of absinthe in the glass. Swirl it around until the glass is coated, and discard excess liquid.
Fill again with crushed ice.
Add the whiskey mixture to the ice.
Garnish with lemon twist.
4. Gin Gimlet
"The Long Goodbye"
Raymond Chandler didn't include the gimlet in his first draft of the novel. However, after a trip to London, he fell in love with the drink and wrote it in. The novel's popularity caused the cocktail to blow up in the United States. Now it's the drink most associated with this infamous alcoholic writer.

Recipe:
As Terry Lennox tells detective Philip Marlowe in the 1953 detective novel, "A real gimlet is half gin and half Rose's lime juice and nothing else."
5. Mint Julep
"The Great Gatsby"
While the mint julep is most often associated with Southern writers, like William Faulkner (bars would often let him make his own), the drink first gained national popularity after its inclusion in F. Scott Fitzgerald's famous novel.

Recipe:
In a Collins glass, muddle 4-5 mint springs and 2 sugar cubes.
Add 2-1/2 ounces bourbon.
Fill with crushed ice.
Drink as is, or top with water for weaklings.
6. Red Rum
"The Shining"
OK, so this cocktail isn't technically in the novel. However, the phrase is repeated ad nauseam. The lead character drinks himself silly. The author is a famous alcoholic. And after reading it, who doesn't want to drink a little backward murder?

Recipe:
Mix 2 ounces light rum and 1 ounce grenadine in a tall glass.
Add crushed ice and top off with orange juice.
Garnish with maraschino cherry and lime wedge.

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Having Trouble With Monogamy? Evolutionary Psychologist Explains Why

Ryan McKee — 2010-06-24T15:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Sex, Humor, Video, Asylum Exclusive

Have you ever cheated on your lady even though you loved her? If you haven't, there is overwhelming research saying you fantasize about it regularly. Why does this happen? Why are men so bad at being faithful?

Many studies in evolutionary psychology claim it is simply in a male's genetic make-up. If you're not familiar with evolutionary psychology, it is a field that attempts to explain psychological traits by applying the theories of natural and sexual selection. Deep, huh?

In the latest "Genius on Genius," Asylum's resident genius Ryan McKee interviews Russell Jackson, PhD, a genius of evolutionary psychology. While his research mainly focuses on the evolution of spatial perception and navigation, he was kind enough to indulge us and explain sex, genes and rock 'n' roll ...

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Pizza Bus Tour Guide Helps Us Find the Best Pie in the U.S.

Ryan McKee — 2010-06-18T13:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Food, Like an Expert, New York

Pizza is like porn. Both are simple at first glance, but have multiple hidden layers involving taste, region, history, varieties, morality and stuffed crust. People ultimately want what they want. Thick crusts disgust some, while others chase it exclusively.

That is why reaching a definitive winner for America's best pizza is impossible, even though food and men's lifestyle publications attempt to annually. They forget what pizza (and porn) is really about: good times.

Scott Weiner doesn't forget. A true pizza aficionado, he runs Scott's Pizza Tours in New York, judges slices at the annual International Pizza Expo in Las Vegas, writes about it for various publications and maintains the popular blog Scott's Pizza Journal. However, he doesn't front, even though he could.

"You can have a wine connoisseur, but with pizza, we're all on the same level, " he says. "It's peasant food. We're all pizza enthusiasts."Weiner's fun, we're-all-in-it-together attitude is the tone of Scott's tours. In the bus, he cranks Mrs. McPuppet singing the children's song "Pizza Pie" and rambles about any pizza trivia tourists ask about, all while asking everyone their favorite hometown pizzas.

"We only have bad corporate pizza," admits a woman from Ottawa.

"Zeeks," a family from Seattle agrees upon.

"Pizzeria Bianco," a guy from Phoenix says. His wife rolls her eyes like she's heard this hundreds of times.

Scott knows all the places, talks about what makes each pizza good, and even has a story about how he made the owner of Pizzeria Bianco uncomfortable with his fandom.

If anyone has the knowledge to name a best pizza, it's Weiner, but he can't even begin to narrow down his favorite.

In New York, he seems to be a fan of the originals: Lombardi's (America's first licensed pizzeria), John's of Bleecker, Patsy's, Totonno's, Joe's, Rizzo's and Sam's in Brooklyn. He also loves J&V Pizzeria, Fornino, Luzzo's, and Louie & Ernie's in the Bronx.

Outside of New York?

"For the people in the pizza world, New Haven, Conn., is very important," Weiner says. "If you go there, a bunch of pizzerias are amazing. Portland is coming up for being important for pizza. San Francisco has some of the best pizza I've ever had. Delphina Pizzeria; Pizzeria Picco in Larkspur; Gialina, which has a really interesting pastry-like crust. And then there's this guy called Pizza Hacker who makes pizza on the streets with a modified Weber grill in about a minute and a half."

Overall, his advice for choosing a favorite is to pick the one that makes you happiest.

"If you're eating a bad slice, stop eating, and go somewhere else," he said. "I've done 15 or 16 pizzerias in one day."

Virtual Dating Assistant Explains the Science of Online Hook-Ups

Ryan McKee — 2010-06-11T13:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Dating/Love, How-to, Weird Science

Scott Valdez can attract hundreds of women each month in his boxers.

The 25-year-old is the founder and president of Virtual Dating Assistants, a company that makes "the dating dreams of busy individuals come true."

"Online dating is like a part-time job," he says. "We alleviate the burden of searching for the perfect match by ... allowing our client to select top candidates, handling all online communication and then setting up an in-person date" -- oftentimes without the woman ever knowing.

They call themselves the "Concierge of Online Dating." We prefer "Matchmaking Ninjas," but "Scientists of Internet Dating" might be the most accurate.

"The whole process is pretty systematic," Valdez reports. "We're sending out sometimes a thousand messages a month for our clients. For each one, we track 19-plus variables: general approach, subject line, time of day, etc. We export the data each month and crunch the numbers. That has really helped us to craft our messages better."

Don't have $400 a month to spend on outsourcing your love life? After the jump, Valdez shares five crucial tips for getting dates online.1. Find the Site That Best Suits You
There is a niche site for everyone: Date My Pet, Black Christian People Meet, Farmers Only, Geek 2 Geek, etc.

"Choosing the right site is a vital first step to achieving success online," Valdez says. "I usually recommend pay sites. We found [on those sites], for every email we send, we have twice the chance of taking things offline with the recipient."

And in the same vein, know your league.

"We've gotten dates for our clients with women who are out of their league, but the response rate is much lower," he admits. "Definitely swing for the fences, and if you do things really well, you will get a bite once in awhile. But we're actually about to put something on our blog that shows by what percentage your response rate decreases if she's more attractive than you."

2. Choose a Compelling Subject Line.
"If you put 'Hi' or 'Hello' in the subject line, it's over," Valdez says. "If your email doesn't get opened, you have a 0 percent chance of receiving a response. The goal is to grab her attention. Maria Veloso, an expert in Web copywriting, recommends using a 'brain itch,' an incomplete thought in the subject line. Think of it as a cliffhanger."

Valdez uses this technique for his own online dating.

For example, "This girl was extremely hot, way out of my league," he explains. "She had a photo on her profile of a baby on top of some paperwork. In the subject line, I wrote, 'I don't care how ...' [then in the message] '... adorable a photo it makes, you can't just steal someone else's baby and make it do your paperwork. It's wrong and illegal.' She loved the message, we met, and things went really, really well."

3. Don't Write Too Much
Don't over-think and write her a complex allegory.

"Each message should take between 15 and 20 minutes to prepare," Valdez says. "Try to keep it within five to 10 sentences and conversational. Don't talk about yourself unless it pertains to something you have in common or something she may really find attractive. As a general rule of thumb, include a question or two max. Questions placed at the beginning of the message are often forgotten, so it's best to place it at the end as a call to action."

4. Ignore the Woman's Perspective
Sorry, ladies, but guys should not ask sisters, mothers or female friends for advice.

"There is a big difference between what women think they want and what women actually want," Valdez says. "I think that applies offline as well, but I've definitely seen it online. Their profiles will say they're looking for a nice, romantic guy, but they don't respond to those types of emails.

"We've had female writers write for male clients looking for women. However, their response rates have been significantly lower than our male writers. It takes women longer to accept the things I teach them. They don't want to admit their friends would go for those things."

5. Channel 'Han Solo'
Princess Leia didn't like Solo, but she loved him. He's strong-willed and cocky-funny.

"Women respond to challenging, playful, teasing messages, especially when a woman is really attractive," Valdez says. "The more attractive she is, the more she is used to men sending her power-giving messages, giving her all the power on the first message. What has worked best for me, and for our clients, is to retain that power by being funny and challenging."

6. Use Emoticons
"There's a fine line between being challenging and being a complete ass," Valdez says. "You have to evoke emotion without offending or trying to hard. The problem with online dating is you don't have body language. Offline, 90 percent of communication is body language. There's a lot of room for miscommunication. To avoid that, use emoticons. Don't put smiley faces and winks everywhere, but if you're going to challenge someone, put a wink at the end so they know you're not being completely serious."

Is hiring a virtual dating assistant unethical?
Yes -- People have a right to know who they're corresponding with.	407 (40.8%)
No -- The real connections are made in person; the assistant just helps you get there.	590 (59.2%)

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Voice of Nintendo's Mario Meets Asylum's Voice of Genius

Ryan McKee — 2010-06-09T15:30:00+00:00

Filed under: Games, Video, Asylum Exclusive, Trend Investigation

Voice-acting genius Charles Martinet is a classically trained actor who appeared in "The Dead Pool" and "Matlock" before landing his best-known role as the voice of Mario in "Super Mario 64." Nintendo quickly realized the range of Martinet's talent and signed him up to voice Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, Toadsworth, Baby Mario and Baby Luigi.

Asylum's Resident Genius Ryan McKee caught up with Martinet at Nintendo World in New York City for the release of "Super Mario Galaxy 2." Completely in his nerd element, McKee deftly questioned Martinet about Method-acting Mario, Italian-voice stereotypes and what McKee's voice would sound like in a video game.

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