Science Proves It -- Video Games Are Good for You

Video games can't conquer all of life's ills. Or can they? Perhaps there is a panacea out there for what ails us, and all along there were real benefits to that whirring little box next to our television. Would we lie to you? If you don't believe us, let science prove it instead. Or, at least, let these scientific studies provide ample excuses for you to thrust at your girlfriend, mother,...

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WoW-ebrity Stalker Guide -- Celebrities on 'World of Warcraft'

The great thing about massively multiplayer games like the uber-popular "World of Warcraft" is that millions of people are on them. Which means, percentage-wise, there's a decent chance that some celebrities are out there roaming the fields of Azeroth. Not that you're part of a clan that's interested in star-f--king, but just in case, here's Asylum's dream team of hidden celebrities you might...

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Grooming Cheats -- Pro Gamers Debate the Rules of Hygiene

It's a brash cliché that all gamers are fat, pale slobs with social skills limited to online acronyms and screaming over wireless headsets. The good news is, only some of that is true. In the age of Wii Fit and major-league competitive gaming, more people game now than ever before. In this more mainstream arena, is it important for gamers to clean up after themselves, or is it irrelevant?...

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How to Talk Smack on Multiplayer for the n00bs

Have you ever been curious about the origins of the trash that gamers spew to each other? Then let Asylum be your OED to understand why bzzkill99 just said what he said before riddling your ragdoll body with shrapnel. PWN: As in, "pwned" or "I PWN YOU." Perhaps the most common bit of trash in the consonant-only lexicon, but why make "own" into "pwn?" Some say the move was to get around the...

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The Grand Theft Auto Rap Sheet -- Real Crimes Inspired by GTA

"Grand Theft Auto IV" is more than 2008's Game of the Year. It's also America's touchstone, the game that continues to inspire -- inspire the awe and ire of violent deadbeats, washed-up lawyers, dumb gangs, sexual predators and news-hungry journalists fearful of gaming's effects on the poor wee tots. And once in a while, it inspires a little bit of good, too. In preparation for the "GTA IV: The...

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Eat Your Video Games -- The Worst Gaming Foods

Every video game phenomenon would be slightly less phenomenal without its requisite collectible side-products. A major part of that is the grand tradition of video game snackertising, which dates back to the '80s, when a cereal just wasn't a cereal unless it had some Saturday Morning mascot action behind it (Pac-Man Cereal, oh how we miss thee). In all instances, we'd rather be playing the game...

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Retro Rip-off -- Classic Games on the iPhone Part II

Prev Next "Block Breaker Deluxe 2" (aka "Arkanoid," "Breakout") Atari tried to chase all the "Breakout" clones off the iPhone App Store, but that's like trying to keep flies off a rotting piece of meat. As of today, more than enough ball-paddle-brick games remain to satisfy even the most perverse kinetic games fetishist. Gameloft's "legit" ripoff actually does both "Arkanoid" and...

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Retro Rip-off -- Classic Games on the iPhone Part III

Prev Next "Bix" (aka "Qix") Kind of like the old Taito line-drawing game from 1981. Actually, exactly like "Qix," just without a Q and with a B instead. If you like dividing parcels of land up with geometric precision while avoiding abstract evil dots, well, you've found your mobile nirvana, haven't you? The big difference here is you use your finger to trace out squares and rectangles...

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Retro Rip-off -- Your 10 Favorite Classic Games on the iPhone

Gaming is not like classic literature, where cheap bastards reap the rewards of public domain, amounting to all the Jane Austen, Mark Twain and Tolstoy e-books you can possibly read. In gaming, there's no such thing yet, but that hasn't stopped a trend in flash and shareware games known as "ripping sh*t off." While we all have wasted an insane amount of time on "Super Obama World" and other...

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