Class Clowns Rejoice as White House Answers Question From Mike Hunt

This is the sound of an army of Beavises and Buttheads high-fiving each other. During his weekly Twitter quizzing, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs fielded a query from legendary homeroom absentee Mike Hunt, M.D. (Say it out loud a few times until that joke reveals itself to you.) The question was one of two that Gibbs selected to answer on video this week. While he managed to avoid say...

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Forget 2012 -- Billboards Say Judgment Day Is Sooner Than You Think

Fans of the disaster flick "2012" and the Mayan prophecy that inspired it, may just want to step up their personal ark-building schedules. According to a gaggle of billboards that have been popping up around the world, the Mayans circled the wrong date. So, when the End of the World As We Know It arrives, their adherents won't feel fine. According to the billboards, Judgment Day will occur on M...

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Progress! Asylum Fires Question at the President, Gets Wave

Since becoming a White House reporter, I have so far only been able to communicate with the president through his press secretary, Robert Gibbs, and his deputies. While this is certainly rewarding, the real prize for any White House scribe is a direct-to-POTUS query. As a rookie, though, this is a pretty tall order. Questioners at news conferences are decided on in advance, and it takes a lot o...

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Chris Young Competes for King of the Train-Wreck Candidates

In a political season that has already given us accidental Senate candidate Alvin Greene (D-S.C.) and gubernatorial hopeful Basil Marceaux (R-Tenn.), we didn't think things could get any weirder. Then we got a load of Providence Democratic mayoral candidate Chris Young, who not only broke into (truly awful) song (that he wrote himself) during a morning news interview, but he also proposed to hi...

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NY Governor David Paterson Praises 'Race to the C*ck'

While giving a speech about President Obama's Race to the Top educational stimulus program, New York Governor David Paterson seems to have taken the "stimulus" part too literally. As part of his announcement that his state would receive $700 million in funding, the governor thanked President Obama and Education Secretary Arne Duncan for "coming up with the Race to the C*ck ...Top program." N...

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Todd Palin Metaphorically Stuffs Curiosity-Seeker in Locker

On the heels of another run-in with locals a few weeks ago, there's a new video circulating of Sarah Palin, along with her husband Todd, interfacing with their Alaskan brethren. Shot last week at Valdez airport, this latest video features a Hans Moleman sound-alike mutely recording the Palins as they enter the airport ... until Sarah and Todd engage him. Things get off to an awkward start in...

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Rapping Weatherman Nick Kosir Drops New Single

All you other weathermen had better have your lunches packed and your bus passes ready -- rapping weatherman Nick Kosir is about to take you all to school. Fox 4's fly forecaster (and friend of Asylum) has been entertaining Beaumont-area Texans with his funky five-day for over a year now, but he's just gotten around to producing his first full-length music video. Cleverly titled "I'm a Weath...

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Fairfield, Iowa, Honors Pac-Man's Birthday With Honorary Citizenship

The International Video Game Hall of Fame inducts its first 29 members this week. The inaugural class is headed by iconic, dot-munching, ghost-hunting veteran Pac-Man. Since his introduction to the U.S. in 1980, Pac-Man has inspired a host of imitators, a plethora of merchandise and an eponymous "Fever". The a-maze-ing little guy is also celebrating his 30th birthday this year. And the Mayor of...

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Meet Basil Marceaux -- Most Awesomely Inarticulate Political Candidate Ever

Meet Basil Marceaux, a Republican candidate for governor in Tennessee, who recently introduced himself to the world via a local newscast. Video of his appearance has since gone viral. Marceaux's brief stump speech resembles a nervous fifth-grader giving an oral book report, but we think his legislative priorities have merit. Keep reading to check out Marceaux's political coming-out party, in...

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Awesome New Sci-Fi Bill Proposes U.S. Planetary Defense Commission

The approach of the year 2012, the latest in a series of predicted Ends of the World As We Know It, really didn't have us all that worried. After all, we've been burned before. (Y2K, anyone?) Then, we saw a new bill introduced by Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-Calif.) that proposes the establishment of a United States Commission on Planetary Defense to help protect Earth from the kind of catas...

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