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Jan 21st 2011 By Emily McCombs

A Woman's Perspective on Premature Ejaculation

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For this, the final Woman's Perspective, our girl was under a lot of pressure. After over a year of bringing you her weekly take on such disparate subjects as anal sex, swingers, porn, Dr. House, glasses, video games, the Internet, getting laid, bachelorette parties, strippers, the G-spot, "Lord of the Rings" and Dutch ovens, she felt she had to somehow top it all in one final, explosive finale.

Then she just said "F**k it" and phoned it in like always. Click below to watch A Woman's Perspective on Premature Ejaculation.


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Jan 21st 2011 By Laura Leu

Couple Celebrate Nuptials With 'Ghostbusters' Wedding Cake

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Listen, guys, we need to talk. Where is this relationship is going? Because we're not getting any younger, and someday we want to get married. Not really for the commitment or tax break or green card, but to have a "Ghostbusters" wedding cake, OK?

Of course, we'd be stealing the idea from Ricky Gonzalez and DonnaMarie SanSevero, who got hitched in November and combined their love of "Ghostbusters" with matrimonial desserts by asking Charm City Cakes to bake up a re-creation of the movie's final scene -- starring a proton pack–wearing bride and groom atop a skyscraper, zapping the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

"I had always thought that it would be a cool scene to have as a wedding cake, and I thought of it long before Ricky proposed," SanSevero tells Asylum. "Then, after we got engaged, we talked about a few other ideas -- scenes from 'Aliens,' 'Jaws,' 'Indiana Jones' -- but 'Ghostbusters' was the hands-down winner."

Charm City delivered with a 3-foot-tall skyscraper made of pumpkin-cinnamon cake frosted with butter cream and surrounded by church rubble made of Rice Krispies treats. Fondant was used to create Mr. Stay Puft and the ghostbusting couple, whose energy streams even lit up.

"It was delicious, and our guests were floored," says SanSevero. "They didn't even realize it was a cake until it came time to cut it." The couple had six "floors" of cake left over that they took home at the end of the night, but not before first dancing to the "Ghostbusters" theme song.

Keep reading to see more photos of the cake that proves romance and geekdom isn't dead.
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Jan 21st 2011 By Danny Gallagher

New 'Dead Space 2' Features Move Created by a Fan

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Daniel Emmerson's contest winning move Technology hasn't reached the point yet where video game characters can mimic our every move from the hardest high kick our flabby bodies can muster to the swift kick to the groin we'd all like Sonic to give to his slowpoke partner, Tails.

One fan of the gory survival horror epic "Dead Space, " however, got the unique opportunity not only to develop his own signature kill move for the sequel, but also to appear in the game as one of the bloody "Necromorphs."

Daniel Emmerson of Cornwall, England's signature move, the aptly named "Meat Cello," was hand-picked by the creators and developers of the game as part of a contest to develop a bloody good move for Issac Clark, the game's protagonist.

"We were looking for a paired move that felt natural, scary and was something we could technically achieve," said Steve Papoutsis, the game's executive producer. "'Meat Cello' fit the bill."
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Jan 21st 2011 By Nick Nadel

Sacha Baron As Saddam; New Pics of January Jones As 'X-Men''s White Queen

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Showbiz news you actually want, from geek gossip to celeb train-wrecks.

Photos of Kevin Bacon wearing an ascot and January Jones in a skintight jumpsuit in "X-Men: First Class" have been released. (FilmDrunk)

Sacha Baron Cohen will play Saddam Hussein in "The Dictator." (PopEater)

Olivia Munn choking a chicken works on a couple levels. (The Blemish)

President Obama pledged to attend the Super Bowl if the Bears go all the way. (With Leather)

Jessica Biel was spotted in a bikini while in Hawaii. (Radar Online)

Kat Von D and Jesse James are engaged. (TMZ)

Get in bed with Minka Kelly's sexy "GQ" spread. (Next Round)

Could J-Woww be one of Prince Williams' future celebrity flings? (Dumb As a Blog)

Hopefully Anne Hathaway won't wear Halle Berry's terrible Catwoman costume. (Film Critic)

Want to meet Padma Lakshmi in NYC? Bid now. (Charity Buzz)

Spike's hit show "Deadliest Warrior" is going to become a movie. (Screen Junkies)

The Harry Potter anime is inevitable. (Unreality Mag)

Hayden Christensen and Jamie Kennedy are among the worst actors of all time. (UGO)
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Jan 21st 2011 By Jeremy Taylor

Cook's Pubic Hair Breakfast Sandwich Leads to Jail Time

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When line cook Ryan Burke spotted in his restaurant the police officer who had once stopped him for a traffic violation, he decided to cook the cop up something really special.

So the 27-year-old New Jerseyan made sure there was a not-so healthy dose of his chest and pubic hair in the turkey, egg and cheese bagel he made for the Evesham Police Department officer.

It didn't take long for the cop to figure out what was going on, and he had the offending sandwich sent to the state crime lab, were it was confirmed the hairs matched Burke's DNA.

Burke plead guilty to aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer and retaliation for past official action, and was sentenced to 15 days in jail for his culinary crime.

We're sure Burke has learned his lesson, and will next time stick something a little harder to detect in his revenge sandwich. (We can think of a few things.)
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Jan 20th 2011 By Jeremy Taylor

Smoking Will Cause Genetic Damage Within Minutes

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Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

When you inhale cigarette smoke into your body, it almost immediately causes genetic damage that could lead to cancer.

In the first study of how smoking effects DNA, scientists tracked the pollutant phenathrene, which is found in cigarettes, in the bloodstream of 12 smokers. They found that just 15 to 30 minutes after these volunteers took a puff, the phenathrene had morphed into a toxic substance that "trashes DNA, causing mutations that can cause cancer."

"The results reported here should serve as a stark warning to those who are considering starting to smoke cigarettes," the study's lead author concluded.

Yes, they should. But this is still all very science-y, so we would encourage smokers to just think about the guy with the hole in his neck who has to talk through that little machine.
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Jan 20th 2011 By Alastair Plumb

Models in Lingerie Bouncing on Balls ... to Sell Car Insurance

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Advertisers aren't stupid. OK, some of them are, but most of them know what helps things get sold: pretty girls. Preferably pretty girls wearing not that much, as seen in this recent viral hit from Romania, featuring models on bouncy balls selling (obviously) Asirom Mandatory car insurance.

You can imagine the ad execs at their round-table meeting now ...

It's total nonsense, utterly ludicrous, and has ladies in their underwear. Could you ask for more? As for the sexy words on the sexy advertisement, we bet you're wondering what they mean, eh?

"In case of an accident: get out of the car / and inspect the damage / ask the guilty driver for an RCA insurance policy / fill in the friendly ascertainment form / if you can't reach an agreement, a police officer can settle your dispute / always buy RCA insurance."

Hmm. Disappointing. Still, you can check out the video below, so it's all good.
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Jan 20th 2011 By Anthony Layser

Was Alexander Hamilton President? Asylum Investigates

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Many Founding Fathers top-five lists have Alexander Hamilton following George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, and John Adams in the number five spot. He is, after all, much cooler than James Madison, and only an unscrupulous alcoholic would make an argument for Samuel Adams. That said, many Americans can't tell you definitively if Hamilton was ever a U.S. president. This mystery led Asylum to carry out an investigation no other news organization would even dare to attempt ...

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Jan 20th 2011 By Jeremy Taylor

What's the Best Movie Remake?

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According to our friends at FilmDrunk, Will Smith and Jay-Z are getting together to remake the movie "Annie," which will star Smith's hair-whipping daughter Willow in the title role.

If you're keeping score at home, that means that they are remaking a movie that was a remake of a play that was based on a comic strip.

At first blush, it would seem like this updated "Annie" will make a ton of money and not be particularly good.

However, there have been some darn fine movie remakes over the years, and we want to know which one you think has been best.

Let us know in the comments about any movie remake we neglected to mention, keeping in mind that the Coen Brothers insist their "True Grit" is not a remake of the John Wayne classic.

What's been the best movie remake?
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels -- based on 1964's 'Bedtime Story'175 (8.7%)
Cape Fear -- Based on 1962's 'Cape Fear'175 (8.7%)
The Departed -- Based on 2002's 'Internal Affairs'853 (42.3%)
Dangerous Liaisons -- based on 1959's 'Dangerous Liaisons'49 (2.4%)
Scarface -- based on 1932's 'Scarface'765 (37.9%)
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Jan 20th 2011 By Laura Leu

The Ordinary Becomes Extraordinary With These Amazing Time-Lapse Videos

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Speeding up time can make even the most mundane events seem interesting. Take, for example, watching paint dry. See?

Erik Solheim also demonstrated time-lapse's ability to amaze by fast-forwarding through the changing seasons in his backyard.

He snapped a picture of the same exact spot every 30 minutes for an entire year and ending up with 16,000 photos. He then edited down his images to 3,500 and set them to a video, showing a whole year passing in just two minutes. (Spoiler alert: There's snow and falling leaves.)

Keep reading for this and more incredible time-lapse videos of otherwise boring circumstances.
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