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  • Jutsy
  • Member Since Aug 20th, 2008

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Recent Comments:

Get Stuffed -- Win a Custom Mini-You (Like Mine) {Asylum}

May 20th 2010 2:57PM I need a custom one of my buddy and his fiancee as a wedding gift. Can we graft the two of them together, or chain them at the ankles, or something equally stereotypically derogatory? Pretty please?

The wedding is at the end of August. We have just enough time.

Got Gaffe? Fox 5 Anchor Rosanna Scotto's Genius Soy Milk Marketing Idea {Asylum}

Apr 30th 2010 2:11PM She sounds like the type of princess who would refer to actual jism, in bed, as "soy milk"...as in "Harvey, don't you dare spill your disgusting soy milk on me. My collagen hasn't set and I just had my hair and nails done."

Imagine all that in a Fran Drescher accent. I know I am.

Hee haw.

Readers Suggest Awesome Stuff for 'Most Awesome' List {Asylum}

Apr 29th 2010 12:51PM It's actually spelled J-U-T-S-Y.

Hee haw.

'Black Dynamite' on DVD Is a Bad, Mustached American Mutha {Asylum}

Apr 28th 2010 2:07PM "Black Dynamite Goes To Africa" is already in pre-production.

Readers Iffy on the Whole Boobquake Thing {Asylum}

Apr 27th 2010 2:02PM More like "BOO-quake". Hah. The gentlemens' club I was at was apparently hadn't heard of the event. None of the girls questioned had any idea about any sort of protest. Not that they wouldn't have complied, had they, of course. So I guess it's a big win for me, since I got to see actual naked boobs, and didn't have to sully myself with "politics". Boosh.

The Top 10 Most Awesomest Things Ever {Asylum}

Apr 23rd 2010 2:21PM You know what just missed the list? #11: Nerds making lists. "I don't know, guys, I imagine sex is cool and all, but I'd probably be fast and messy and embarrassed. On the other hand, the Internet doesn't laugh at me, and I can look at other...girls...in animal costumes. I'm gonna vote the Internet #1 instead."

Hee haw.

Get 'Drawn In' to Our Most Offensive Giveaway Yet {Asylum}

Apr 16th 2010 1:32PM Kickass. If you can't send me to butcher a pig, at least send me Spanky butchering decency, and giving Adam Corolla something to live for...

Asylum Readers Want to Unleash Their Inner 'Sam the Butcher' {Asylum}

Apr 15th 2010 1:38PM That wasn't a knock. I'd dissect her, too. I just have too many t-shirts already, and would love to let knife meet pig.

Kegstool Will Soon Be Your Favorite Beer-Soaked Perch {Asylum}

Apr 6th 2010 2:49PM Awesome, yes. Improvable, of course. Come on, egghead "college students". Think of a way to get beer out of those things while seated atop it, draft-dodgers and 6th-yearers. Christ. Quit calling Beirut "beer pong" and do something worthwhile.

Brooklyn Butcher Class Lets You Meet Your Meat {Asylum}

Apr 6th 2010 2:05PM Now this class sounds like the sort of thing Asylum should offer as a prize package! Keep your Betty White/narwhal t-shirts, and let me go dissect a pig!

In the immortal words of Matt Stone, "You're the butcher...so...BUTCH!"

Boosh.