Roommate Horror Stories -- Tell Us Your Worst {Asylum}

Nov 19th 2008 3:16AM I just had my buddy of 6 years move in with me about 3 or 4 weeks ago. We get along very well and have many of the same interests so there are no problems with tolerating eachother, but so far hasn't bought a dime of food since being here and when he payed his half of the rent, was left with 30 dollars and instead of buying something important like food, spent it on a case of beer and a pack of cigarettes and continued to eat my food afterwards.
This really peeves me because he only really eats mac and cheese and could have bought himself a month supply with that money. On top of that, he managed to drink a four-litre jug of my milk in literally 4 days. I didn't notice til I went to make a peanut butter sandwich and realized I had only half a glass of milk to wash it down. He NEVER has cigarettes and is always asking me for just one more to which I have told him now NO MORE. Then the worst of it, since he has moved in, he hasn't had even ONE shower, not ONE.
I've tried politely telling him he stinks, i've tried directly telling him he stinks, ive tried making light hearted jokes, ive straight up told him he needs to have a shower, and all I get are excuses. Mainly, hes too tired.... WHO THE F IS SOO TIRED THAT THEY CANT HAVE A SHOWER IN A MONTH?? He even said one day that "I walked 3 hours and worked another 7 so im too sore and tired" so what does he do? Sprays his feet with air freshener because he says he knows his feet smell because of all that walking and working. I say why dont you just have a shower instead of using the air freshener and again, too tired. And on top of that, maybe it wouldnt be so bad if he didn't work manual labour for a living and come home in sweat stained clothing and with black hands (he NEVER washes his hands either) and then to make it worse.... i swear his clothing can't have been washed for at least 2 or 3 months, he just wears the same stuff over and over. Had to actually borrow a pair of my shorts cause he had none and now uses them as underwear. Then, this guy has managed to have sex with at least 3 girls this past month so on top of the dirt, sweat and filth accumulating on his skin he has sex juice from 3 different girls all over him. I've had to retreat to my bedroom now since it has become so bad out in the living room now. He has no incentive to clean up after himself and never cleans up on his own free will. He will only help with house work when im doing it and hes not surfing facebook with my computer. And the extent of his housecleaning abilities begin and end with drying dishes. To which i said to him why don't you find something else to tidy up, i got the dishes, to which he just went back onto face book. He hasn't changed or taken out the trash once since being here even if he tops it off. Instead, he stacks trash on top of it so when I get home there is garbage lying around the trash can. On my days off I generally spend a couple hours tidying up and on his days off he sits on facebook and youtube all day and literally doesnt move, and again, doesnt find the time in that entire day to shower.

I needed to vent a little...that was good.