ASYLUM - For all mankind

(Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.)

Physicists have demonstrated that black holes aren't just complete vacuums, some things can actually get out.

This research could end a decades-long debate sparked by Stephen Hawking. Who will be the loser in this debate? Albert Einstein, because the findings challenge his theory of general relativity, which contends that not even light can escape black holes.

A researcher involved explained the findings this way, "Information only appears to be lost because we have been looking at a restricted part of the true quantum mechanical space-time. Once you consider quantum gravity, then space-time becomes much larger and there is room for information to reappear in the distant future on the other side of what was first thought to be the end of space-time."

What does this all mean? Who knows. Our expertise lies in booze and boobs.

IM-ing doesn't rot teens' brains?! Seriously, WTF?

CO-ED Magazine has the scoop. It turns out instant messaging actually improves teenagers' vocabulary and language abilities, according to a new study that refers to instant messaging as a "linguistic Renaissance."

"IM is interactive discourse among friends that is conducive to informal language," says Derek Denis of the University of Toronto, "but at the same time, it is a written interface which tends to be more formal than speech."

Some other ways technology is improving your communication abilities:

-- The new BlackBerry helps you express your anger, as in "Get off your f_cking BlackBerry when I'm talking to you."

-- Facebook lets you be "friends" with girls you were too scared to talk to in high school.

-- Twitter helps you with your not-so-secret desire to broadcast meaningless observations to strangers.

Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments.

Elsewhere in the manly "sack pack" universe today...

America's Hottest College Girl (College Humor)
Classic Guy Infomercial Gadgets from Yesteryear (The Bachelor Guy)
I Slept with A Woman and She Blogged About It (Men's Health)
Teacher Makes Kid Unclog Toilet with His Bare Hand (Tasty Booze)
Flight of the Conchords Want "Ladies of the World" (Complex)
Gerber Gator Combo Ax (Uncrate)

In a stunt flight that surely lit up the imaginations of kids and thrill-seekers all around the world, a Swiss man has successfully piloted a jet-powered wing through the Alps and back down to earth.

Yves Ross, 48, planned and trained for five years to jump out of an airplane at 7,500 feet and maneuver his way through the air with the help of two rigid eight-foot wings (and a few jet turbines). During the stunt, Ross achieved speeds of 186 mph about 65 mph faster than the typical falling skydiver. He steered his way through several loops, including a perfect 360 degree roll, which he admitted afterward was "to impress the girls."

Watch footage from his flight below.

We always thought Sloan -- Eric's girlfriend on "Entourage" -- was cute, but we never thought of Emanuelle Chriqui as anything other than that girl we kinda had a thing for junior year and forgot about. We certainly never thought of her as GQ cover-model-worthy, until she appeared on the cover of GQ.

Just shows you how much a little toplessness can change things.

By the way, when Emanuelle shot these photos, the L.A. cops supposedly asked the photographer to make sure her areolas weren't showing. It's a frustrating decency restriction we know only too well. We can't show them, either. (See video of the shoot after the jump.)

If you've ever sat through a long-winded church service wondering if there's a better way to achieve everlasting life, you may be in luck.

Thanks to Reserve a Spot in Heaven, anyone, even sinners, can purchase travel kits containing documentation that will (supposedly) allow the carrier access to Paradise.

Essential Travel Kits go for a relatively inexpensive $12.79, while All Access Travel Kits will run you $15.95. And if, by some unforeseeable event, you don't make it to heaven, there is a full money-back guarantee.

The company doesn't say whether God gets a kickback on the profits, but it's hard to imagine that St. Peter hasn't had his palm greased.

It used to be that if you didn't want your hot sauce to be so hot, you'd either have to man up and deal with it, or avoid it altogether.

The latest from Dave's Gourmet is Adjustable Heat Hot Sauce, so you can go from pleasant tingle up to nuclear burn.

The bottle has a spray pump, with a switch at the cap so you can turn it to the spice level you'd like. Only $10, and with a few special modifications, you might be able to turn it into a deadly pepper spray.

(Via Uncrate)

Hey, we've all had bad days. Bill O'Reilly just had the bad luck to have his captured on camera for eternity and broadcast all around the Internet. In a special Colbert segment, Stephen shares his own meltdown in a show of solidarity with "Papa Bear" O'Reilly.

(Our round-up of celeb gossip so you can keep up with your girlfriend.)

Claudia Schiffer topless in German Vogue. NSFW (Drunken Stepfather)

Werner Herzog is planning to make a movie with David Lynch. (EW)

People Magazine cannot tell Asian people apart. (The Blemish)

Amy Winehouse is kissing Pete Dougherty? (Pink is the New Blog)

Colin Farrell is losing a ton of weight. (Derober)

Chuck Palahniuk talks about his favorite books. (Best Life)